How absolutely sick is it that I find comfort and safety on a site that people tell you about how they want to die? Oh now you are probably thinking to yourself, well it’s probably because you need to know that there are others like you. Yes that’s right I have a logical mind. I am not mad at you, whoever you is, I’m mad at me, for being me, but then for being mad at me, because I know how it is more for a lot of people with personality disorders, except I feel what I should feel, then have not the feelings […]
Tag:
Parents
i have posted this before, but i really think this is the perfect site to help people on… so here we go.
hello, i am here today to tell you about my site… you see, i grew up in a family where my mom and dad were fighting constantly, my mom cheated on my dad and that just lead to a down fall… anyhow, when i was five, my mom left my dad and i went to live with her, i never knew my dad growing up which could have helped me as my mom was an alcoholic drug dealer… and well that should say it […]
hello, i am here today to tell you about my site… you see, i grew up in a family where my mom and dad were fighting constantly, my mom cheated on my dad and that just lead to a down fall… anyhow, when i was five, my mom left my dad and i went to live with her, i never knew my dad growing up which could have helped me as my mom was an alcoholic drug dealer… and well that should say it all.
i grew up hating myself, woundering what I did to make my parents split, and believing my dad did not love […]
I think it started when I was a lot younger than I am now. I now realize that in the past I fed off of guilt. Somehow, I liked the feeling of making people feel guilty, making them feel regret. And I was that way because I was sick and tired of myself being a magnet for those emotions. Maybe then, I wanted people to feel what I felt. Every little event that happened to me always started to build up through the days into something big, and I would always just look at the things I had done, and just say ‘Man, my life […]
in responce to that first comment on my last blog (sorry about the spelling): i didnt mean for it to sound like i was competing, or even to insinuate that this is, somehow a competion. just that i got the feeling that my last post was being pooh- poohed as unimportat. any way. i cant talk to my friend (we’re 17), thats really the whole problem, i dont know how to express my self (hense competition thing), i either underestimate the whole situation, and then people dont belive me, or i go ott, and end up getting really defensive.Â
i cant talk to my mum or dad, […]
Ok a lot of people may think i’m pathetic because i’m only 15 and i am already thinking about suicide… well i just don’t know what to do, i’m pretty much never happy i have so many bad memories in my past that i cant let go of… Up until about 2 years ago i always thought suicide was just an easy way out of things because that’s what my uncle did was take the easy way out of his problems by taking his life.
I now understand why some people think that is their only option, if you think you have nothing to live for then […]
ok. last post was a little vague i guess.
i was sexually abused when i was 6 till i was about 7/8 ish, by some boys in my primary school. (i’m a girl). I am absoulutly terified of people touching me now, anywhere. i csnt really get close to peoplr, obviously i have trust issues. when i get upset, depressed – i cant talk to anyone, my friend gets really anoyed and angry. she says i act like a spoilt brat, and i make her think we’re not really best friends. i told her about what happened to me. doesnt really look like she took it […]
Doesn’t look like there are any Aussies here at all.. wish I could make pact. I was planning to go out and try buy Heroin today and overdose on that. I thought what a brilliant way to go, floating away on a high… but I’m scared that I don’t know where to get it and it could cost more money then I have to get enough to OD… so… I’ve been doing alot of research. I agree. If we really believe we want to die and the pain of living is worse then the pain you may cause for anyone you may leave behind, you […]
A couple days ago I started to write one thing on here. I thought that it would get it out of my mind for a bit. Before I knew it, five hours had gone by and I had no clue. The house could have burned down and I would have never known. I realized I was also no place close to finishing it. It made me realize how caught up in my thoughts I am. How much of the world have I missed? I mean, I can’t possibly see it all, but what has been going on?!!?!
I am almost 18. According to my parents and the […]
Today, I am full of angry thoughts. I just checked the gun. How surreal. It’s there. Several are in this house. Now, I need a bullet. 32mm. I find lots of 22 mm, but don’t think that gun is good enough. I’m crazy writing this. I know this is my thinking, my old thinking & thoughts that need to die. I am a follower of Byron Katie. She is a teacher of “loving what is” and this reality raises itself again & again. www.thework.org
I admit, I missed my medication for 2 days. I took it today and will probably be feeling normal soon. I’m so […]
Finally, oblivious parents have recognized my bulimic ways and decided to get me help. I’m going to a doctor tomorrow and I’m actually eating full meals. I feel…. pretty good. I thought all hell was going to break loose if they found out, but they were more understanding than I thought they would be. My brother knows, and he choose to just ignore me instead of supporting, but he can go fuck himself for all I care.
My bulimia was the cause of all my strife. I’ve felt happier in the past two days than I have in a long time. Though it will take me […]
hi there im lily. im the age of under 18. if your on here just cuz your bored or you actually wanna know, w/e i dont really care if your willing to listen then great! cuz id like you to know my story…
my life was and still slightly is wrapped up in lies. it was taking everything over. it was making me into something i wasnt and getting me into alot of trouble. it was getting me down that everything i talked about wasnt real. i was getting sick of it.
then theres alan. hes now my ex but was my SPD (sadistic personality disorder) boyfriend. […]
i don’t have much to say, but the worst part of why i want to kill myself is that nothing bad has ever happened to me. nothing really bad. i have parents who love me. i’m engaged to be married. until recently i had a good job, but a job loss isn’t the cause of this, i’ve wanted to die since i was fifteen. whenever anything goes wrong in any capacity i think about it. i can’t stop it and i don’t want to think about it but i do. it’s selfish i guess, for attention maybe, but all the people that hurt me, i […]
I used to do well in school, getting A’s all the time. Making my parents happy.
I then fell in love, and being in love with someone who doesent return the favor, is tiring.
Im emotionally and physically tired, and i just want to sleep.
I want to sleep forever. Which sounds weird, because i know death isnt like sleeping, i wont be dreaming, i will just be dead.
But that sounds the closest i can get to the feeling i want.
Im trying so hard to be what everyone wants me to be.
But I know i just let everyone down.
Im tired. And i think.
Its time to rest.
I came here 2 seek help it seems like no one understands me and it hurts my own parents don’t understand me I’m so hurt inside and I feel as though no one cares if I die I feel like the only way out of the pain and suffering is 2 die will someone plz help me I’m so dead inside
I Don’t know where else to go. i spin myself all around but i always seem to fall on my ass. This life seems to short to live any longer. I can’t seem be to alive when all the world is a burning hell, A total disaster. everyone wants me to die just let me go. i look in to the ungrateful mirror to find out that I’m worthless.I try to be gentle but my gentle is destruction. My life isn’t hell but close enough. My voice scars those who hear it. My parents don’t understand The say i’ll never do it but i’m […]
I thought i could trust them
Thought they were my friend.
My broken soul that trembles as i wake
My parents who left me to die alone
I may struggle but no one helps me
I fall deep under my shattered blood
trust me alone with the knives left…
Left on the counter
i walk slowly over to them
My hands shaking
I can’t do it all alone
The pain to keep my arms held up.
The pain to live alone with
No one who loves me not at all
my bitter mind shuts the harsh cold world out
The keys to my broken soul is lost
People can’t understand when i fall unto my …
my floor with no breath left
he […]
i was bored today, so i started looking around the site again. i haven’t poked around for a while now. as i was reading people’s stories, i found myself envious of them. i think i know why. some of the people here- correction, MANY of the people here have already attempted suicide. and i am jealous. it’s not just in this online world, it’s in my reality too. it seems ok for everyone else to break down, but not me. a kid i had known for years hung himself in the week before his bar mitzvah. we saw my neighbor get carted out of her […]
All alone in this place of no hope
All alone in my saddest sorrows
With no where to turn but my self
With all my fear until i fall
Fall ungreatfully into the
melted memories of him
The times he said he loved me
All just a lie, I try not to cry but the tears fall out
Alone until he finally sees me
Alone and waiting ut hes gone and i know it
The worst part is my parents hate me more and more each day.
My own hate toward myself my own regret
My tiny drops of blood
Then i died.
When i was 12 i lived in kaufman, the best place i have ever been to and lived. I use to get in to alot of messed up situations with my parents and my friends. I lived in a trailer in the middle of nowhere and it is’nt a pretty site there either. I used to be grounded for a long time and my best friend killed herself. I always wondered about myself, what if i wasn’t alive, what would my parents even care about me anyways. It was Janurary 2nd 2006, i was home by myself and i kept wondering if i should do […]