I wish life wasn’t getting harder for anyone. I wish I could make strength from pain for everyone to endure. I wish there was someone who decided to take these problems into huge consideration. As life continues more and more people who need this site haven’t heard of it and problems get worse. I want a cure for these painful endurances. Not medication.not suicide. Not just speaking or in this case typing but something different. If we can show the world how bad it sucks to be in our shoes will things change? I want me wish to be a dream… then it will […]
Tag:
Sanity
hello.
i’m 17, suicidal, and very confused.
I’ve wanted to die for a long time. for many reasons. but the things stopping me have always been the friends who i owe the little sanity i have now, and the hope that i might actually be able to enjoy life at some, more independent point.
Personally i dont understand what family is supposed to be. i don’t understand the love some people have for their families. is that strange? i just. i don’t feel it. my younger brother is the only one that i feel protective of.
however i love my friends with everything i have. they are amazing and nothing will […]
When I was young, I was ‘diagnosed’ as being gifted. High intelligence, learns fast. They forgot to mention the side effects. I analyse everything and everyone. I can’t stand being around people. They never say anything interesting. Meaningless discussions about the boring crap they do all day long and are planning to do. I can make almost anyone like me with the masks of sanity I put on every day. Cheerful to some, great listener to others and a serious guy to more others, everyone likes me. I have a good job and decent enough looks, by all accounts a great guy.
But noone sees […]
I haven’t been an avid writer on this cite, I haven’t been able to make any relationships with any of you, and I know this cite is to relieve oneself from the frustration of that constant feeling of undying depression, but I just wanted you all to know how thankful I am for all the help you have given me. Because even though you don’t know me, talked to me or even commented on anything I’ve posted, I have read your stories and I don’t feel alone. It’s been 7 months of suicide-free euphoria! Nothing has changed in my life, and if anything going through […]
all alone in this battle for my sanity
picked on by people with too much vanity
holding myself together is my greatest test
but i can’t take it anymore i need rest
im tired from this fight
im tired from this battle that has no end in sight
im tired of wondering when i’ll be free
im tired of hoping people dont see me
Im starting to believe every word they say
im trying to remember how to live day by day
So i put on a smile and walk away
and then i go home and die and decay
Power is a filthy poison
for which there is no cure
It steals the soul and taints the life
and can make one quite impure.
Power vibrates in the beast
its sanity has gone
now it bleeds and weeps of greed
and thinks there is no wrong.
So take your need and power’s lust
and choose your victims wise
Scream your battle cry aloud
and shape your prey’s demise.
Demean the different, out and in
and make their life a hell
Carve wounds with words into their soul
and in your hate they dwell.
Destroy those who oppose your will
with shouts and strikes and sin
Claim that […]
Hello all,
I have the urge to declare my sanity and justify my actions. I doubt that anyone will be convinced that this was the right decision. They are all too caught up in what they believe is sane or what they believe is “good” or “happy”. I believe it is my right to decide what I do with my life. It is my goddam decision! We all preach to the rest of the world about “freedom”. Well, how “free” are we really if society can’t accept someone’s decision to end their life? The word suicide is shunned and scorned. A person who commits such a […]
I wonder if i could hire a hitman.Its not a plan or anything like that just curious.My friend has tried to kill herself recently and ive determined after therapy she wont be the same shell eventually be healthy with time.Im not upset about this its good that shell get the help.But i wont be of need anymore. my family will be able to pay bills and possibly move into a better home.I myself do not neccesarily want to die but i sense danger ahead that will destroy my sanity either way.I must escape.And no one will save me cause they never had any interest in […]
I just came across this site this afternoon. It’s actually the exact sort of place I had always looked for before, when the darkness always took over. Any time I googled anything about suicide, it was always for help, for “don’t do it” articles, for getting over depression. I realized somewhere along the way, this isn’t something you “get over”, it is always with us. True, it has been a while (less than a year…which is a very long time for me) since I’ve been there, drowning in that blood-red sea with no sign of hope on the horizon, but it’s still in me. I […]
Suicide is the only answer for me, don’t bother telling me otherwise, I’ve tried and failed before but I haven’t changed my mind. I’ve been unhappy and apathetic for as long as I can remember regardless of how hard I’ve tried to push myself or the different things I’ve tried. I just want the pain to go away, it’s really unbearable at times. I think about bad times in my life, about God, about all the bad people in the world, how bad the world is, how worthless I am, and often enough I picture myself dying in gruesome ways. I end up crying, shaking, […]
The first time I tried to kill myself was when I was eleven. Â My father was the only person I had in the world, and he had died in spring. Â I went to the school for advanced kids and we did a great deal of independent reading. Â I’d learned about hypothermia. Â I waited until a very cold winter day with feet upon feet of snow. Â I put on my turquoise fur coat, which was the nicest thing I had. Â I knew it would also make it look like an accident. Â I chose a perfect time at night and laid out in the snow.
Needless to say, […]
The line between sane and insane (reality and imagination) is skewed heavily and it’s getting hard to decipher and find out if it’s which. How do I slow down the process of insanity? I still have my head, but not for forever.
How do I fix this? Memory games? Extra reading? Keeping my mind off of any critical thinking? I got the last one covered, this whole weekend I avoided thinking and further depressing myself. At least I ain’t going back to asphyxiating myself.
This is odd. Is it really insanity? Or is it just another disorder. Or maybe I’m actually getting schizo, after creating another persona […]
Latest news from me.Â
Sumer the Moron
Sumer is back and I wish I could visit him and rip his arms and tongue out. Posting nudes on a site to help alleviate peoples problems caused by rape, abuse, and many other mishaps of life. That’s messed up. I just wonder, is it true that he’s insane? He’s smart, but also stupid. He’s a troll and an idiot. Even I’m not that far gone. I understand his mistrust of America, but attacking the weak? That’s just shitty man. We go here to cope, not to learn about washing machines and nudist colonies. (sad to say, I had “researched” […]
cuz my parents almost break down into tears when they see a report bout deaths on the news and cause i can keep my sanity and calmness aparently im not empathetic and im heartless and uncaring. are my parents right? its stupid i do care im just not going to mourn about it. im so sick of my parents saying im a careless heartless unempathetic person.
Tear after the other, I failed to finish crying….
Keeping this mask on is draining my last bit of sanity..
Why is it when your sad you are always alone? Why is it that only I find pleasure in being there among those  who pretend to care?
Where is everyone now, when I am the one in need?
Been strong for so long, but loneliness has taken its toll on me, I dared to seek care… I dared to ask for tenderness.. I dared to imagine being loved.. But time after time, the nightmare kicked me in the guts, with phantoms of beings which never gave any of such …
Until..
I met […]
am I supposed to keep going:
– when it feels like my drive to desire is broken (desire being the root of action) ?
– when my ego’s been getting weaker for the past 5+ years ?
– when my mind cannot generate meaningful goals etc like it used to ?
I wanted to become a psychologist when I started going to college (sept. 06) .. it was my only and meaningful goal, my door into the future
I got to experience mental abuse & other bad things in an environment I started to hate .. unfortunately, I had no other realistic option than […]
‘Oh, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.’
‘In the grander scheme of things, you are really insignificant.’
‘You’re too young.’
‘How can you expect anyone to care for you, to love you, if you don’t love yourself?’
‘We’ve spent this much money on you, the least you can do is pay us back.’
Yeah. Okay. I comprehend that. I don’t stop thinking about them for a moment.
But I’m 19 years old and I am tired. I am tired of clawing my way through classes, I am tired of not being able to look anyone in the eye because I’m afraid of them, I am tired of not wanting to […]
and by that is, apparently it’s highly rare for anyone to have common sense anymore… Why am I always the only person around anyone I know to have the common sense to think something through, to see the solutions to do what’s right, but no one listens to me… In this world full of lies, and currupted greedy bastards, I still stay truthful and pure… In this world, all those horrible people continue to get rewarded, while I’ve never seen a day where I’m not punished… for what? for existing? for being right? for being honest? for being hard working? for having humanity?! all the […]
I have had severe depression for way to long. I used to be so happy and creative and wished I could live forever a long time ago I cant even imagine wanting to live forever now. I have lost all interest in everything in life, peoples advice is usually “Do what you enjoy doing” The problem is I have no hobbies,interests, and cant think of even one thing I enjoy doing. I feel so burned out like nothing is ever new and even if I have never done somthing it feels like Ive done it 10,000 times before. I have never had a girlfriend and […]
My Immortal lyrics:
I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone
These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I’m bound […]