Im back to where I started this time in front of my parents I bit myself as hard as I could in front of them. They said I need help but my whole family does. I just got in a relationship with a girl I have been dying to be with. And now my mother treats our relationship like its her messed up marriage saying I give her too much attention and soon she will get tired of me and not love me anymore. She even had the audacity to go to my girlfriend and tell her “Dont distract him from what he needs to […]
Whenever I get depressed or really upset, I get the shakes, and involuntarily rock back and forth, the itches start, and I suddenly need to fidget. These don’t always happen together. Different emotions trigger different things. When I cry, sometimes my brain feels like it completely shuts down and I don’t even think I’m breathing anymore, though that’s impossible. All I know is there is a wall in front of me, and I finally know what it’s like to not feel. I want to cry for days sometimes, but I apologize when I do cry, even if no one is around to witness it. I […]
does it make sense that i hate myself because im too skinny? Most people hate being too fat i hate being too skinny. I want to be strong, i want to be big. Someone girls find attractive. Not someone they laugh at cause my body type is like a 5th grader. I want to be someone’s first option. Not “oh i invited 20 other people youre the 21st. wanna come” i want to be a friends first option, a girls, my fucking mother. I cant even be a first option to my mother. It makes you feel useless. I dont do anything. I sit home […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
Im a fourteen year old boy, i have no friends and my parents dont give a fuck about me… I dont need anybody to help me with my problems, I need someone who knows how i feal…
To all those who are suicidal and read this. Your situations vary, your reasoning for wanting to end it all are different. But, I’m not one for good advice, nor am I happy really. I’ve dealt with my share of suicidal thoughts as well. This is based on my experiences.
So you have no friends, no one likes you it seems. Why? Maybe, try to talk to people more if you don’t, it may be that they are like you, or are just apathetic and need a friend like you to talk to and hang out with. Maybe everyone truly doesn’t like you, which is unlikely, […]
How many times do we have to feel grief, fear, hatred, jealousy and everything else put together do we people have to go through? How many times do you sit there and feel dead inside when someone is constantly bringing you down. I have a boyfriend and he can sit there and call me beautiful and say he loves me but I don’t feel it. I feel used, I hate it knowing that he always prefers to watch beautiful blond perfect body’s fuck themselves but won’t touch me. Unless he feels so hard that he needs a vagina to get him off.
I almost jumped off […]
I really don’t know what I expected from them. They don’t care about me and it’s not the fact that they don’t but the fact that I ever thought they did. I care so much about them and I just want someone to talk too that doesn’t make me feel as if just being around them is a burden..but I don’t have anyone at this point and I dont think I have ever been this lonely..
It’s been a long time since my last post here. I like to think of that as positive improvement, yet for some reason, during my breakdown today, coming here was the only thing that made the tears stop flowing.
I’ve been feeling a great deal of pressure lately. My sister has been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. The past 2 years to my knowledge. This year it got really bad. She stopped going to choral practice and missed a lot of her senior year. She simply stopped doing anything that used to matter to her. So I convinced my parents to send […]
I know this is going to sound crazy/weird…..
I literally hate myself. I am a guy, 35 years of age, yet I have missed out on so many great things in life. As a child, and even today, I cannot bear to walk around without a shirt on etc. It has made me become anti social, because I feel I am so ugly I don’t deserve anyone to like me. Yes I am still single because of this, and have no confidence in myself what so ever. I fail at everything I do, get laughed at lot when I make a mistake, so now I never […]
Just because you’re willing to sacrifice for someone else doesn’t mean that they will do the same for you.
I learnt that the hard way.
And it hurts.
So I managed to stay the whole day at school today, which made it a promising day. What was bad was what came after it.
I don’t know if it’s just me causing all of these problems in my relationship or if it’s naturally strenuous because of how me and my boyfriend are. Regardless, I got pretty upset today. To cut a very long, ongoin story/conversation short; I don’t believe he is making enough effort in our relationship. We never do anything, and all I’ve asked him is that one night when the majority of people aren’t there if we just take a walk down to […]
I’m coming to my last days of high school and the past week has been hell. It’s had such an effect on me knowing that I won’t ever be there again. It’s so weird, and kinda unsettling.
I’ve also realised how lonely I am. Everyone has their groups and their best friends but I just float around. Gets on with most people but just keeps under the radar.
That also brings up another point. Everyone on here seems to know someone and they know all their stuff and its so nice that people support each other here. I think I’m asking if someone would like to be my […]
This is my final post on here, I thought it would help me. Some of the people on here are really helpful. But I know my decision now. I will go away, in a sense. I have issues befriending people. In the end however they leave, that’s ok though. They are forgiven. So is everyone else who has caused me pain, you are forgiven. I am now at peace, I feel no more pain. I have dreaded posting this, because I felt that maybe hope was somewhere. But certain events today proved to me otherwise. I know that there is no other way. I’ve no […]
I don’t know if is worth being alive because of two things:
1) Mi career has pushed me away from what I wish the most… Someone to love, take care of and make a family with. Grow together, look up for our kids and love them forever.
2) The only person that saw the good in me is no longer here. She left me for someone else. She stopped believing in me. In 24 years no one dared to see in the deepest part of me and love me unconditionally. She wasn’t able to understand the illness that haunted me before she came in. With her I […]
I’ve just realised how vague my previous post was, which may delay the process in receiving some form of helpful reply.
Ill try to put into words this feeling.
I can’t do anything right. No matter what I say or do or how I look. The phrase “no-once cares unless you’re pretty or dying” comes to mind. Of which only one applies to me, and I can certainly say that my appearance has had no positive impact on my life. I feel empty but at the same time I feel nothing, so really the question is – do I really feel anything at all? Am I forcing […]
I thought by coming across a site like this would enable me to actually be able to rant about something, anything, so that my mind would be clear for a moment. But sitting here, typing this out, I’m struggling with how to put into words something which might catch someone’s attention who may be going through something similar. Someone I can relate to. The majority of people on here I suppose will all have similar background stories or specific tragedies which crossover with someone else’s, and so a relationship forms as these crossover people discover each other and help. My issue is; despite knowing the […]
had a guy over. And he turned out to be a cuddler. I am too. Sometimes I just wanna be held. I wanna be the lil cub instead of the lion who protects himself from everything. But as I laid there I realized, I’m too vulnerable for this. I got up with feelings. Feelings that really aren’t for him. But for the idea of him. I loved the idea of him being here. And the whole time I wished he was someone else. And this is why I don’t get too close.
On one of the spectrum, I am a depressive martyr, thinking thoughts of suicide 60% of the time. Hoping that a small fragment of happiness will bless my broken life. I still have hope that maybe one day it will change. I have found out that if you sit and wait for good things to happen, it usually never does, but I have also discovered when I try to make good things happen to me, it blows up in my face and I’m worse off than before. I don’t know why I came back here, did I thought it was going to make me feel […]
I hit myself in the head and slap myself over and over when no one is around. I hate myself. I cry and scream. someone please help me someone I am going insane please someone help me.