Hello, friend
Yours, horrid and gruesome
I’m sorry if you ever saw in sludge
How can it ever to a profound if I can’t even stand
Friend, the title of this one is
What do I do in this alone
My naval clan still yet to comprehend
The objective, of the Grimer
If you dare
“…”
If you reach, in the pits
Revolve, from the viscous matter
Just for a moment
To take on, the damned
Sometimes I wish I could die in a car wreck or something, so my family members won’t blame themselves. I’ve seen quotes that stand up to the fact that we give people signs that we are not ‘okay’. We give them so many signs they are just too oblivious to the truth to see it. I don’t have to cover up my cuts, I mean yeah I put a little powder on them, but that is practically nothing. It doesn’t make them disappear. That doesn’t take the pain and misery away. Doesn’t take away all the depression. I love my family to death but currently […]
my life is so empty. i don’t have friends. i don’t have a relationship. i have no love in my life. i need to be loved but i’m too ‘weird’ and ‘ugly’. i’m tired of people telling me to love myself. i don’t need to love myself, i need to be loved by someone else. i cannot stand to even think about if i have to spend the rest of my life alone. i’d have to kill myself. a lot of people would think that’s overdramatic, but it’s true. you know how some people need music and some need good food and some need art […]
I hate when he doesn’t talk to me and I feel like it’s because he can’t stand me loving him. I know I’m too hideous to love but I can’t stand being shut out. I might as well confess somthing since it will never happen anyway, because I’ll kill myself at some point this year. But I used to, since the age of 5, occasionally make plans for building a robot, because I knew even that young, that that would be the only way I’d ever have a male companion. The first Terminator movie didn’t come out until I was about 7. Over the years, […]
I’ve left my fears behind. Now I’m purely fuelled my anger and sadness. I was never good enough for anyone, and that was okay with me because I didn’t need to be.No, correction. I was never good enough for YOU. You stupid, terrible parents that pushed me to my breaking point and every time I built something for myself, you would knock it down and then ask me why I couldn’t build anything. I didn’t want this life. Everything I did I did for you. Straight As. 4.5 GPA. Getting into one of the top schools in the world. Student council president. Swim team. Band. […]
I’m sick really.. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. nothing in life satisfies me anymore, I want all the wrong things & I think that bad, that my heart is literally ready to jump out of my chest.
I just want it all to go away. these feelings, these thought, these memories. I just want to be happy.
I don’t remember the last time I was happy actually. you see, a lot has happened to me in my life. a lot happened to me growing up as a child and I think it has all had a negative impact on my life.
long story short, […]
I never believed when people said cutting was an addiction. But now it’s just not enough. I used to do baby cuts – just little ones – but a few of them at a time. They were small enough to go unnoticed even though I still wear short sleeved clothes. I didn’t want anything to be too obvious to people, but recently I’m noticing the are getting more inflamed and irritated – it kinda stands out too much.
Also I’ll admit I was scared of the pain. Initially that tiny pinprick was enough, but now it doesn’t hurt ENOUGH anymore. I want to cut deeper, but […]
I’m alone all the time. Other people my age go out and have fun…I don’t have hardly any memories I can recall. I didn’t even do anything on my 21st birthday…was alone and depressed. Wouldn’t anyone think I was the most uninteresting, worthless person in the world if they knew I spend all my nights sitting alone on my bed at night, crying most of the time saturated in misery? Aren’t I wasting this precious life and youth I’ve been given? I would have friends and fun but I can’t. I don’t connect with anyone. I lost the guy I was in love with because I was […]
I think that the thing with this site is we all stand together. Personally I rarely see a post where someone doesn’t reply. All of us go through shit, and yet we always reply. And that I believe helps us. Responding to someone else helps us help oursleves. I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone else…
Lightning strikes on a summer night
The August heat makes way for a storm
With screams of agony and gasps of fright
There came an odd and terrible form
“It’s a girl!”
The doctor said with a grin
But they all knew the evil within
A child born in the midst of sin
“What happens to her if he breaks again?”
End the world
She was loved and cherished
But they always knew
The good would parish
If he didn’t stay true
What a man
He could never really understand
What would […]
I know I posted earlier, and I am afraid it IS coming very soon. But I just have to get it off my chest.
I don’t deserve to work my ass off on 8-10 hour days for 3 hours of pay just to come “home” to a place I have to leave in a week, with nowhere to go after the next week, with my jobs on the line at risk of losing all income, just to cry all god damn evening until I finally pass out for the night.
I deserve a full time job that I can live off of.
I deserve a place to live.
I […]
I don’t know why I have waited so long, and struggled so long to try to reclaim a life and a family that I will never get back. Three adult children who all hate me – none has spoken to me in a while. They say it is because they hate my husband of 22 years, but when I said I wanted to leave him – no one came forward to offer help, or a place to live. I have a monthly disability check, but I am afraid to just walk out. If I do, I loose everything, so I have […]
I’ve just realised how vague my previous post was, which may delay the process in receiving some form of helpful reply.
Ill try to put into words this feeling.
I can’t do anything right. No matter what I say or do or how I look. The phrase “no-once cares unless you’re pretty or dying” comes to mind. Of which only one applies to me, and I can certainly say that my appearance has had no positive impact on my life. I feel empty but at the same time I feel nothing, so really the question is – do I really feel anything at all? Am I forcing […]
What should I do now? I remember this time a year ago, when I was on vacations from school for 2 weeks. I remember those 2 weeks were the worst days on my life. For 14 days I didn’t go out of my home. I would stay hours or days laying on my bed, doing nothing at all, constantly checking if I had any kind of message or something that meant that anybody thought of me in those days. Well guess what? No one did. I’m in a similar situation right now, but worse.
I finished a semester in school, […]
I really don’t want to die but I feel like it’s the only thing I can do to escape everything that haunts me in my head and my life. I just can’t stand my thoughts and insecurities, therapy and medication are a bunch of horseshit I know this firsthand as I’ve been on countless medications etc. The only thing that breeds a positive change are life CHANGES and improvement. Nothing gets better if nothing ever changes. I don’t want to fucking hold myself back anymore, I want to be free. I feel like I’m imprisoned in my mind and it’s been too long like this, […]
I don’t see hope. I see pain, and a lot of it. I hear voices, and I am exhausted. My life is a couch, and a walk, and sometimes I can eat, and get to places, and sometimes I can’t. No family cares, no church cares, basically, nobody cares, and so I’m saying goodbye soon. Because there has to be some place better than this filthy and disgusting planet full of chemicals and all kinds of horrific things that I can barely stand to live in anymore. The humans have made this planet a waste heap of despair and agony for too many, and I […]
I don’t want to live another day like this. And after that there will be another one, and so on. I can’t stand it.
I constantly think about overdose, but apparently is nearly impossible.
Why doesn’t my heart just stop.
Everyone I know left…those who don’t will eventually do…everyone does…everyone leaves eventually it’s just a matter of time before they get tired of telling you that you’re going to be better or even things will be alright…they can’t stand being with someone who lost too much in their life…they can’t stand knowing that words are just not enough to help someone like mesk…so one who is broke into a million piepieces and having the broken pieces shattered by those who I thought wouldn’t leave…in the end all you can think of is that all of them are better without you…because just face the fact…in that […]
I truly do want to die. I feel bad for thinking it but I wonder since I reconnected with my mom if she would want to die too. She has more resources and could probably get ahold of a gun. I’m almost certain her religious beliefs keep her from any thoughts of suicide and she would never touch a gun either. I only thought of how she has nothing left the same as I have no reason to live. I can’t take the agony of being alone and never knowing what it’s like to hold someone I love. The man I love is still complaining […]
The day is near its end.
Blinds are down.
I can’t stand
on my legs.
in this lonely town.
He isn’t here
to wipe my weary tear.
I’m waiting.
Nothing happens.
I’m
run out of tissues,
misused.
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