its been a while since ive been online. not a lot has happened. but im getting worst. me and my bf broke up, and there is this girl i just wanna kill. me and my best friend are fighting and ive got no sleep in about a week. im going crazy. i run away a lot during the day and sometimes at night. i think about death more and more. i just wanna die. before they were just thoughts but now it is serious. self harm- if i cut my wrist and hope to hit a vein, it will take hours of painful death until […]
Tag:
Stomach
I don’t want to die.
I need companionship.
I need someone who will tell me it is alright. I need someone who will lend a shoulder to cry.
I need someone who will not judge me by my choices.
I am so tired of pretending to be strong. of pretending everything is alright and that my life is happy.
I am tired of pretending I don’t need someone.
somehow I feel like despite the fact that I have friends, I am disconnected with everything else. Â so I am seeking companionship.
how many of the people I know will cry when I die? in my mind, I know, they are not a lot. […]
Sometimes I just do things and don’t realize how fucked up those things are until it’s too late. It’s like something just takes over my mind or body. I have sex with boys that I don’t really like then I get mad at them for calling. I am not a good person. Or I don’t know how to be one. I don’t really know. I always say that I’m not just one of those bitchy girls who plays mind games and fucks around. But I am, that’s exactly what I do. In fact, I’m probably a lot worse than all those girls because the entire […]
do you enjoy starting drama? i cant love my family because all they want to do is start drama because its what you thrive on. my father hid me and my sister from the world just so we wouldn’t end up like them and now we have terrible social skills, shes doing better than me though, i cant make friends because when i try to reach out to people they think im creepy or weird. all the people that supposedly love me keep treating me like dirt. i cant find my way and i just dont know what to do anymore but look back on […]
i am 15 nearly 16. people think im such a happy teenager, but they have no idea how wrong they are. i have depression, i have an eating disorder, i self harm and im suicidal. i dont have a bf and a lovely family but non of them know the truth. i tell them but they dont take me seriously they thing im lying or that ill be “fine” do you know how hard it is to be battling against life alone? feel like no one cares? no one is there? well thats me. i have cuts on my shoulder, stomach and my wrists. i […]
Ok, so i don’t like eating. AT ALL. I haven’t eaten in about four days, but even though my stomach feels empty i keep telling myself i am full, like when you eat too much your stomach feels stuffed. I want to be able to eat but i cant bring myself to do so because it just makes me feel disgusted with myself. My friends are beginning to think i am anorexic, and other people as well. but they are not understanding that i am simply not hungry, or rather that i just do not feel like i have the need to do so. […]
I am extremely unhappy. Whereas a few days ago I had a little bit of hope and miniscule amounts of positive energy, these last 48 hours I have been depleted. My heart has slowed and my body has sunken in.
I am terrified. Today in class I could hardly breathe. I tried to duck out before it started but I ran into the professor. I could barely speak and I was trying not to get sick the whole time. Electric stomach, glass eyes. I had to wait in the building before leaving to go back to my room because I couldn’t handle the idea of people […]
Rapidly spiraling
down,
down,
always downward.
Never up.
Envisioning in my mind
of blood running down my arm
my face
my stomach
my legs & ankles.
Feelings of nothingness.
Wanting to cry, throw up,
and turn away with guilt and regret.
Suicidal Tendencies come forth,
beckoning and pushing me away
from the temporary refuge
I had inexplicably found in dreams.
Regrets pile up around me
little post-it notes on the walls
covered in despair and insanity.
Incomprehensible thoughts running through my head
screaming in agony I bleed
scarlet rivulets create a river of inconsistencies.
I know she killed her self but i have tried worse ways then her. WHy didnt people relize my atttempt!! why wtf i mean come on i tried to cut open my stomach. thank you very much but of course know one seeems to care. maybe i should try something like that …
fuck
and prayers do go out to her family
I’ve read many posts on this site, and the many responses that went with them. I realized that it was the same thing over and over again, someone is hurting and they reach out to anyone who might listen. Then those compassionate few who happens to stumble on the post responds. It’s like an endless cycle, you know? To all those people who are suffering, I just want to say I’m sorry that I can’t help you much. I honestly don’t know what to say to you, “Just stay in the game, it’ll work out…don’t give up”? It’s  not the most convincing advise. So, I just want […]
The thing about my cutting, is that I can’t stop, it’s the only way I even know how to cope. My parents tried to force me to quit cutting. The stress made me want to do it even more. So I continued and even picked up smoking. They stopped trying to make me quit, because they thought they did a good job, and that I had quit. They all have no clue I continued or picked up another habit. I just cut less than two hours ago, my entire stomach basically. Covered in blood from my habit, burning from all the pain. I sadly like […]
hello my name is stan,im a 18 yearold highschool student, the thing that ment the most to me in my life was taken away monday , my gf or i guess you could say ex gf (whos name will not be said) she was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver in the rain at around 10 pm we were dateing since 5th grade we were both seniors. she was the love of my life we were engaged i was gonna marry this amazing beautiful women she helped me with everything she made me who i am today when ever i was doing […]
reading a lot of posts on here lately (i’m around, even if i don’t comment, i don’t like trying to offer advice when i don’t have any), seems like some of this site has degenerated into the petty bullshit that communities always do. just goes to show that even the most superficial of relationships break down in destructive ways. there’s no point in trying to connect with anyone, really.
anyway i noticed that most people say that this is a community of people who are at their end… people who have made multiple attempts, people who have been with depression for a long time. now i […]
So there I was, a couple days back – sitting alone thinking oncemore about how shitty my life is (I’m in my 20’s, have a university degree, but no one will give me a job, im lacking in major social skills and have never had a GF – still a virgin and havent had any friends for years). 90% of my time outside of my house has been to the Doctor or my Therapist.
To digress, I’m sitting here and decide to “take some pills” (i wont detail everything). I take a few (slightly more than Ive done before just when Ive felt bad), then I […]
i know im sick. i have made my stomach so small that a cracker fills me up all day but ive been trying to eat more..not going so well:/ i cant focus on anything cuz im dizzy my vision is spotty im weak and freezing always…everytime i stand up i feel crazy light headed, everytime i breathe it hurts (thats gone on for 3 months) and then i cut a lot more and deep too…suicide is my number one thing on my mind lately…i used to be not tobad…but this doesnt feel right…idk yet but i might see if i can go get help now. […]
Her story
Why wont he just come over. I thought in my head. WHY! WHY! WHY! The blood that keep dripping from my arm wouldn’t stop. In the back ground the song Easy by Rascal Flatts was on. I looked at the clock and seen it was 10 o’clock. I dropped to the groundn and started pulling on my hair, screaming and balling my eyes out. I am curled up into a ball not being able to move..
“I hate you!â€
“ I know I’m sorry.â€
“You don’t know mom! You are putting me in her just like a animal!â€
“I’m trying to help you!â€
Then the door slammed open. […]
No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
If you were to ask me would I want to live If I knew I would fulfill my dream do you know what I would say?I quess you can quess,NO!!!
SP sucks without my SP buddy Distantroad!So It’s almost been a year since I’ve been on this site.I made a really qood friend on here.That person Is Teenqirl18.(Teenqirl I’m sorry for puttinq our stuff out there).We started talkinq In March.We […]
you know that feeling that you get in the back of your mind? how worthless you feel? how empty your stomach feels. yet, you cant eat. that feeling that at any moment you can completely fall apart? the blade just dosent cut deep enough anymore? the doctors prescribe you with this pill that does nothing but make you feel robotic. and death is never a promise….and when you run and find you really have no one to run to? you feel lost? you dont understand the words that come out of anyones mouth anymore. you constantly fall in and out of conciencessness. no […]
I’ve jumped out of windows and stuff, but just got like fractures, no death. I’ve taken sleeping medecine and just threw up, the other time my stomach was pumped/
What can I do to make sure I die?
hi there, im a girl
and i am currently suicidal.
everyday i wake up, and try to think of three reasons to live, i only ever think of one. My friends, even though none of my friends know im like this, no one knows (except for my sister and i will explain that later), they are literally the only reason i keep on living because i love seeing them everyday, those four people being the only ones who can make me smile. I have a feeling one of them is like me, but i haven’t got the nerve to ask. I told one of them about […]