I genuinely believe that some people don’t belong in this world. This atmosphere is just too much for us and we need an escape. I am one of those people that just isn’t meant for this environment. I need a different way and I think heaven would be so great. I know it would be great. I just wish I had the courage and strength to go there.
Tag:
strength
Life always have a continue, sometimes you will think you are in front of a game over screen,
But you need to find the strength to put a coin in this machine.
Sometimes the coin will be in your pocket,
Sometime you will need to borrow it from your friends.
Sometimes you will be alone and feel like there is no more continue,
It may be hard but those times you will need to craft it yourself,
But you need to craft even if it’s hard because maybe this ”game” have a beautiful ending.
It may be a silly cheering but I’m with you guys!
How does one *fix* the affects of abuse? You can’t fix that what is. You just learn to cope. No matter how hard one tries, the memories are still remain; forever haunting, forever there.
I have been told to dwell not on that what was but rather focus on what can be. I have always maintained that focusing (and influencing) one’s future is largely based on one’s past, as it is one’s past that makes up one’s present. It is one’s present that gives one strength and abilities to influence one’s future. We are after all the sum of all of our experiences.
One’s past = […]
Just a few things on my mind and I may seem harsh but reading some of these comments are making me ill. Your all encouraging each other to take your life’s? Giving each other options for easy ways out? I have been in the exact same situation as many of you&it does get better. We don’t need to encourage each other to take the easy way out. We need to be sharing some fucking hope! So if I come across as harsh, it’s because I generally care.
First of all, I don’t give a shit what anyone says; There is no reason why you should take […]
(I wrote a little thing and feel free to look at it when you need someone to tell you a story to help you out a little. I’ve always been afraid to share it online out of the fear of it being stolen, because I like to keep the writing that I hold dear to me to myself, but I feel like it should be shared, not stolen.)
She had always felt worthless. Everyone and everything around her made her feel like a bad person, but she didn’t know that she had a heart of gold because no one would tell her. She tried to be […]
September 2014, the quiet rural suburbs heard the screams of my partner, followed by the police and ambulance. Id followed through. I tied a slip knot made from high strength marine rope, tied it with a double hitch around the truss of the shed climbed 2 mtrs off the ground smiled at my partner and jumped off.
4 days later i awoke in a daze in icu on life support unable to move. I had broken my C1 and neurological damage was unknown. I was stabilized over the next few days and air lifted to our state capital some 350kms away to undergo further testing.
.. … […]
Fuck man I’m feeling death take over my soul minute by minute today. Feel so weak. Agh goddamn. I should be past this. I should be this and should be that. I should’ve never been born. This life man – all its been is pain. What a ***** of a life. I wish i knew who or what I was in a past life so i could channel that identity’s strength into this one. Fuck.
Im done. Im finished. Theres nothing left more me. No more energy, no more strength and no more will power. Through the most stupid shit my life ended. Im a shell. Im dead inside. Im sick of feeling like this. I don’t possess the balls to off myself, all I can do is pray that someone kills me. Its not hard and I won’t be missed. Fuck heaven and fuck hell. I just want my pathetic blip to be wiped out. Fuck it im done!
I need to leave
But I’m scared to go
I need to breathe
But they’ll never know
I can’t get out
It’s starting to show
I’m screaming loud
My fuse has blown
Help me please
I need you now
I’m on my knees
I swear I’ll drown
Please don’t leave
Just pull me out
I need to leave
I have no doubt
Please Be my escape
Then you can leave
Be My gate
To a place of strength
I need a step up
Out of this place
Heal the cuts
That cover my face
Depression can be a likened to that of;
an insect
trapped within the web of life.
The spider, represents mortality. The spider can be particularly hungry some days, and seek to devour its prey quickly and painlessly. These are the folk who encounter the planet, and cannot bear to stick around long enough to see any more of it. They are the overwhelmed, the kindred spirits that take their lives young. Other times, the spider will toy with its victim, play with it and taunt it for days and months and years.
because that is exactly it. Isn’t it?
We depressed folk are the victims of life itself. We feel […]
Don’t really know where to start. Maybe where I got so drunk the other night, possibly the drunkest I’ve ever been, nearly attempted, and also fell on the sidewalk cutting up my entire body and face, which had people asking questions. Or maybe with someone who doesn’t bite their nails much, I have none left to bite. Or maybe how I sleep the absolute minimum now, maybe two or three hours a night, if at all. My sleeping patterns have been especially messed up, even on taking extra strength Advil PM doesn’t knock me out. I thought all my stress from school was the root […]
I thought I was getting better. I’m fighting so hard. I’m on meds now but all I feel is sick and spacey. Why can’t I find the strength to end my life? I’m so lost.
Lately I’ve been slowly hating myself and wishing harm on myself less and more so moving those feelings and urges towards others. I have PTSD, which causes anxiety at times and just the other day a couple people pointed out my anxiety and how it makes me seem like a timid, pathetic little thing. Let me tell you something. If you grew up with an alcoholic father who abused you physically and mentally while your other family members turned a blind eye (no matter how many times you stuck up for them when they were being abused)… if you were raped when you were only […]
why do we yearn for death instead of yearning for a better life?
by cathy arsis
written by cathy arsis
i took 42 days and spoke not a word, nor did i write that would be cheating.
mostly i wondered why i wished for death so terribly
i want to end my life
for shame
i am ashamed of how scared i am, and how useless i am,
i am ashamed of how much of a burden i am
and how much hurt i cause to those i care for because i am weak
if measured by the skill it takes to kill
a phantom is a 1,000 weights and reality a penny pound
and all my strength turned to ash by the febrile strength of an unjust man
dissipated by sour breath and uncouth […]
I am 55 male and have been suffering from depression for over 2 decades. I guess it all started a bit earlier when my mum committed suicide in front of me at the age of 8. That image never cease to haunt me…
Ever since my mother’s death, i buckled all my emotions and managed to do well in uni and got a very well paid job. I was respected in the community but now this dark cloud has amassed over my head again and tried as i have like in the past. I cant go on. I used to draw strength from my son , […]
i hate this
i hate not being able to do it
i hate feeling my limbs shake and spasm and still having enough strength to stand
i like the release of blacking out but i hate not being able to breathe
last push coming soon
ready for this
hoping when i pull the plug i’ll just swirl away down the drain
Helplessness is such a cruel thing… I feel my lowest when I feel helpless. But it wasn’t always like this. I was happy, I was in control, I had strength but when I get stuck in this helplessness hole I crumble. But I know theres a way out but I don’t have the right idea to inspire myself out of this. I need to make my mind positive but it’s hard. My friend saved me once in a moment of pure unjudgemental love but this time feels different. There is something I yearn for in my heart. It really depresses me that I’m not as […]
I sit here looking out my window wishing a stray bullet would just come through and end it all.
Other times i sit and see the Semi trucks pass by. wondering and knowing it could end if I would just step right out in front of it.
Another night of self hatred. No way to get out, No way to make anything better.
Maybe for once Something will answer my pleads and just finish me off.
I wouldnt care if i died in a brutal way. Just want it to end.
No strength to fight, NO strength to end it myself. NO power to get by.
I am a ghost who […]
By the time you read this again, we may or may not have been together. Somehow I feel like writing this letter to you. We have been through many things. I know you have cried a lot, lost many things, screamed a lot, and died many times. But I need you to know that you are my reason to hold on. You are my greatest treasure and everyday I pray that you will be safe, alive, and healthy. God knows how I have begged him to not let you feel alone, to give me the strength to make up to you what you have lost. […]
Hey I know it’s totally cheesy but you all have the strength to overcome your adversity. I believe God never gives us more than we can handle. But, even if you don’t believe in any god or any religion, I still believe that as humans we have the inner strength to persevere. I have gone through suicide attempts, bouts of mental instability, self injury, addiction, an abusive father, and I recently realized I was technically molested by my sister from the age of 4-10, I had just never thought of it like that cause she was only three years older than me and I forgot […]