Tag:
Suffering
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
It follows that as Death stands at my door — or rather as I stand before Death’s door knocking madly — that Existential Dread creeps into every thought like so much metaphysical graffiti.
These last few dark days the Serenity Prayer has been drifting in and out of my head. I always read those words as an uplifting call to soldier on in Life. Now I see a different meaning: Free Will. Only the Self can truly possess the […]
(poème de Baudelaire en Anglais et en Français)
The Desire for Annihilation (translated by William Aggeler)
Dejected soul, once anxious for the strife,
Hope, whose spur fanned your ardor into flame,
No longer wishes to mount you! Lie down shamelessly,
Old horse who stumbles over every rut.
Resign yourself, my heart; sleep your brutish sleep.
Conquered, foundered spirit! For you, old jade,
Love has no more relish, no more than war;
Farewell then, songs of the brass and sighs of the flute!
Pleasure, tempt no more a dark, sullen heart!
Adorable spring has lost […]
Lyrics:
Ah, look at all the lonely people…
Ah, look at all the lonely people…
–
Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice
In the church where a wedding has been,
Lives in a dream…
Waits at the window, wearing the face
That she keeps in a jar by the door,
Who is it for…
–
All the lonely people,
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people,
Where do they all belong?
–
Father McKenzie writing the words
Of a sermon that no one will hear,
No one comes near…
Look at him working, darning his socks
In the night when there’s nobody there,
What does he care…
–
All the lonely […]
You said: ”I’ll go to another country, go to another shore,
find another city better than this one.
Whatever I try to do is fated to turn out wrong
and my heart lies buried as though it were something dead.
How long can I let my mind moulder in this place?
Wherever I turn, wherever I happen to look,
I see the black ruins of my life, here,
where I’ve spent so many years, wasted them, destroyed them totally.”
–
You won’t find a new country, won’t find another shore.
This city will […]
Intro
Phew! I’ve been waiting to post this ALL DAY! :O Had to save the script all in my head and everything. >_< Then I had to take two more hours to finish the 2nd and 3rd charts as I just discovered them today…
So like, maybe it’s a bit masochistic, but sometimes I really want to know who I am that I even took these chart things I found seriously, about how much a fictional character has suffered and how much they deserved it. :p
I found it from a Berserk page from Facebook. :p I think these come from 4chan… yeah. XD
Anyways, this may be kind […]
Why has it gotten to this point? I have waited so long but the last one is broken.
The last one has spoken words to me that verify my twisted thoughts.
My presence causes pain and suffering. It has caused this one even more than it has myself.
Why has it gotten to this point?
Is it my fault? I believe it is, but the voice within says it could be my doing and that of my existence as well.
I wish I could bring good news, I truly do, but I hold only sorrow.
Perhaps one day there will be good news.
I have not hoped for this to occur but […]
Persephone’s nightmare
Lyrics (English translation):
Where once pennyroyal and wild mint grew
and the first cyclamen sprang up,
now peasants bargain on cement prise
and birds fall dead in melting furnace
Sleep Persephone
in earth’s embrace,
to this world’s balcony
never come up again
where once the mystics joined their hands
reverently before entering the sanctuary,
now passing tourists throw their cigarette butts
and go to see the new oil refinery
Sleep Persephone
in earth’s embrace,
to this world’s balcony
never come up again
where once the sea was blessed
and flocks and herds bleated joyfully in […]
Ever since my suicide attempt I have felt so demotivated about life. I live solely so that I don’t break my mother’s heart again because she would like me to choose life. But I’m so miserable being alive I sometimes find it selfish that she wants me alive despite the fact it is not my will. I feel like I’m in constant emotional pain and turmoil. I know life isn’t suppose to be always roses but I doubt it is suppose to feel like a horror of knives either. I’m not feeling motivated to work so I’m starting to do badly in school but I […]
I’ve been listening to a lot of “Doom Metal” lately. Bands like Bell Witch, Tyranny, My Shameful, Mournful Congregation, Shining, Who Dies In Siberian Slush, The Howling Void, and others, and I’ve come to find a kind of beauty in the darkness of it all. The deep gutturals, the heavy bass riffs, the long drawn-out notes, and slow drums tap into the sadness within me. I’ve been feeling connected to the sorrow and have grown to enjoy this pain in a way I never thought I would. It’s having some kind of sick paradoxical effect where I want to drown and let the despair consume […]
Yeah I know life isn’t fair, but why do some people have to suffer so much? Why do some people have to have such bad things happen to them? While others have such easy lives with nothing but good people and goodness surrounding them? Some people have had to struggle their entire lives, while others just worry about about stupid shit like what shoes should they wear to match what dress they’ll wear tomorrow, while some of us have to worry whether we’ll get beaten today or have dinner tonight.
Some of us had to suffer the moment we were born. How […]
Hey, so im a 18years old boy who have been struugling with severe depression for about 2years now, and tried to kill myself once…
I’ve been reading alot on this page but never written here myself. But now im in such a dark place i have no clue what to do…
Im cutting myself almost daily and alot, its the only thing that makes all the pain go away since i dont dare to tell anyone how fucked up iam..
But im scared now, i dont think i can do this anymore the last months the suicide thoughts have come back, and they are stronger than ever before […]
The minutes are torturess. It’s as if someone is screaming inside of me. My life has become unbearable.
But suddenly now I’m at peace, with the concept of death. I’ve reached the point where I’m okay with how I feel. I accept it. I accept that my life may end with an impulsive slit to the throat. I accept that I may go on for a lifetime feeling this pain and enternal hurt.
I accept these things, but it doesn’t mean I’m no longer aching inside. Because I am. I still have this dull heavy pain in my chest but I’m no longer fighting it. […]
I’ve got a major problem.
I guess I can’t go on anymore.
I think that I’ve been cheated. I think god(or whoever who created me) didn’t have any right to create me against my own will. all religious people react to that in a very bad way. they laugh at me, they humiliate me (and say I have no right to decide about want god should do and what not); and some of them who are not so arrogant try to make excuses for god’s doings. I hate all those people who love god for no good reason. happy people (I tend to call them “happy”) believe that […]
The day was like any other really, I’m not sure why but I expected it to be different. Some huge event that happened on that day to lead me to finally take the leap but no:
I woke up,
drove to uni,
came home,
I didn’t feel any different to every other day that week, sad, useless, a waste of space, tired of living, but most of all I guess ‘alone’
But I happened to look into the mirror, I looked, I stared for what seemed like an eternity and I realized, I had no idea who that person was, looking back at me.
I had gone through so much, attempting […]
I am emotionally drained. All the skills have used to distract myself has lost its spark. I just can’t find anything that will cope with it except self-harm.
Boredom, sadness, pain.
I’ve never done it before, but I feel as though I don’t have a choice.
… I will tell you guys a story…
a story of a 12 years old girl, after falling her last suicide attempt, say to herself:
“i cant do this… hurt them all like this, but… i NEED to end … all this.. ” and after thinking on all her plans, she notice a problem on them. She wasnt old enough to buy the pills, or to walk by herself without being missed or noticed. She couldnt find a place for herself.
Then she said:
“I will give myself some years, to my plan some time… i need to make it work, i need to make […]
Hey SP,
I am pretty active on here, I’m mean I read all of your post. But I need some help. So I am not happy, but not sad or depressed, but I do self harm for enjoyment. Not because I am trying to deal with my emotional pain and I change it to physical pain.
Why do I do this?
If any of you could conact me, please do
Kik: Cancersurvivor05
Email: bobs65325@gmail.com
I attempted suicide back in May, and while certainly not my first attempt (I’ve lost count) it was the most serious. I OD’d on phenobarb and diazepam, was intubated and in coma for 10 days, and 5 months later my left leg is still paralyzed from the knee down from sciatic nerve damage sustained while unconscious.
I was naïve enough to think that returning to university this Fall would make me happy and give me a renewed sense of purpose, but class started last week and since then my desire to be dead has resurfaced and intensified to the point where it’s all I think about. I […]
If each cut could speak. If each scar could scream. They’d tell you the reason their there. Upon my arms, legs, stomach hips…every part. They’d tell you it’s for many reasons. Memories of the abuse, the rape replays in my mind. Voices shout say it was my fault…that I should abuse myself. Maybe I’m so use to it, that it’s the one thing I know well. My reasons..are one to many. Abused, pain. anger, hate….some even a suicide attempt or two. But there are a million reasons, if only they could speak…they’d tell you
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