Tag:

too much

Breakdown

by Zetsumei 4/19/2016

written by Zetsumei

*is playing “Echo” by Jason Walker as I write*

Hahahaha, my ex re-added me on Skype but she hates my guts! Sure, I was whiny and apathetic to her but I was fighting a really bad depression at the time. Granted, I’m still fighting it but it lessened enough for me to have some clarity now. I missed her and thought we could work things out… I really did. I guess I deserve this for my countless sins.

The future I dreamed of has turned into a nightmare and I’m breaking at the seams. Damn, I feel like Laughing Jack right now! Then again, I guess I […]

4/19/2016 2 comments

I don’t know what this is

by Amme in chaos 4/16/2016

written by Amme in chaos

I don’t hate you, I promise. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just don’t know why I keep pushing you away maybe you’re just too nice. It’s been so long since I’ve had real emotions and you brought that out and now I’m scared. My dark thoughts visit me while I’m lying in bed, hoping I don’t wake up the next morning but for a while now it’s thoughts about you that whisper in my ear before I sleep. I know how much I hurt you this past week and you probably hate me. I don’t even blame you. I’m not even sure […]

4/16/2016 2 comments

On the edge

by whydoiwantto 4/11/2016

written by whydoiwantto

I’m on the edge right now. One of the few close friends I have, someone I considered my best friend, said that she didn’t want to be friends with me anymore ever since I tried to kill myself back in December, because dealing with the depression is too much. Apparently I’m just too sad all the time and it’s bringing her down…

I’m so fucking tired of my depression ruining relationships. If this medical condition was diabetes or something like that, this never would happen. But these suicide thoughts are out of my control. At the end of the day, after she told me the truth […]

4/11/2016 1 comment

Helpless Kat

by LostKat 4/8/2016

written by LostKat

I, Kat, am ultimately helpless.

Ive been trying so hard lately to help others not feel as sad as i do, but i always end up feeling worse regardless. Theres just too much wrong in my life right now, i feel so trapped. Everything keeps going wrong for me lately. Plans, friendships, school. It doesn’t matter it all ends up the same. Horrible.

I feel like I’ve been in another persons body for too long. I cant even tell who i am anymore. I have to get out of this haze soon. It’ll be the end of me.

4/8/2016 6 comments

I don’t know.

by mentally conflicted 4/5/2016

written by mentally conflicted

You know what sucks tbh?
It’s the moments where you’re doing fine-in fact, better.
You feel like you can get through the day and that things will be okay.
But then something happens.
It could be the smallest thing.
The feeling when it all comes crashing down.
The moment you feel like it’s all gone wrong.
Honestly, you just wanted to have a decent day-maybe just a “neutral” day.
A day where it doesn’t suck too much.
Just the days where you can actually breathe.
The routine-sleeping, doing whatever it is you do, then sleeping again.
Forgetting how shitty you feel, even if it leaves […]

4/5/2016 6 comments

quit while they think I’m ahead

by 4beyondhelp 4/5/2016

written by 4beyondhelp

As always, I’ve been thinking too much. If I didn’t think as much and as deeply as I do I’m certain I wouldn’t be suicidal and I’d be a much happier person. But I can see the truth about myself and it’s going to make me kill me.

I used to be better than this. I’ve been slowly declining over several years but it was only a little over a year ago when I started to realize there was a time limit on my facade of success. It has been a torturously slow spiral but sometimes I can feel the way it will speed up until I […]

4/5/2016 2 comments

by bnwB 3/31/2016

written by bnwB

Maybe there is somebody who has the same problem or knows, what to do in a situation like this.

I think you don’t know me and my last posts. So I don’t want to talkt too much, I was abused by my dad. It’s for 5 years now, maybe 4 oder 6 I’m not sure. I was too young, to understand, what and why he does something like that. I thought […]

3/31/2016 5 comments

whimperrrrrrrrrr

by claritee 3/29/2016

written by claritee

I can’t take this anymore. I have too much stress on my shoulders. I struggle to get through each task of the day and struggle to complete a day. I have so much to do. People depend on me. I can’t take it. I would be better off dead.

3/29/2016 6 comments

Skipping

by JiminyCrispies 3/29/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

I’m skipping college today, but I can’t bring myself to care. Everything is too much today, and I’m just starting to give up with it all. There were no appointments with my doctor again today. So today is obviously going to be fun. Death sounds so inviting, and I’m not sure how much longer I can avoid the inevitable.

3/29/2016 3 comments

I’m so fucking mad at me right now.

by Mr Angry-mosta tha time 3/28/2016

written by Mr Angry-mosta tha time

I fucking hate myself im so shit at almost everything i try even when i really try i still fail. I never apply myself, im lazy, i lack enthusiasm and drive, i think too much, i dont get the simpler stuff, im fucked in the head in some way or another or multiple i just know it.

Dont bother commenting or do but im going to bed so laters peeps.

3/28/2016 5 comments

Scared

by 48 is enough 3/28/2016

written by 48 is enough

I hope this isn’t breaking the rules… I’m a 48 year old man. Been kind of a rough and tough guy all my life. Never done drugs, though. Drank alot, smoked a little weed years and years ago… those were the days…. anyway, my whole world has come tumbling down. I know, you’ve never heard that before, but it has! I was married for 15 years and hated most every minute of it. Finally grew the balls to get out in 2010. Soon after I met the most beautiful angel! And, of course, immediately fell in love! It was wonderful! We were together for a […]

3/28/2016 10 comments

A disappointing mess that has all the potential to be better but through utter incompetence fails to reach potential.

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 3/25/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

As I watched moody superheroes fight i realized what this movie is accurately describes my life. It means well has some good parts. But is too depressing and meaningless to be truly enjoyed. Im too much of a fat pos to ever be cared about. I’m too incompetent to improve my life. I’m giving myself 18 months. Its a very short amount of time. If things aren’t improving then it’s off with my head. Im so tired of impoverished lonelines, alienation, and obesity as normalcy. I’m not living. This isn’t living.

3/25/2016 2 comments

Glorification Vs. Trying to be positive

by Bri 3/18/2016

written by Bri

****Starting this off with a trigger warning because I don’t want to make someone upset or make them hurt unnecessarily. So read with caution (Mentions of self harm) ****This is a rant****

On Facebook, a few people on my friends list are sharing this picture. It has a recovering self harmer’s arm covered in scars saying something about them being ‘tiger stripes’ and not making you gross.

I suppose from an angle this could be glorification, however there is also a nasty little note tacked to the picture. Calling whoever does this a “sicko” and saying they “need help.”

All I have to say is… Well, duh? Let […]

3/18/2016 1 comment

new people

by souptool 3/13/2016

written by souptool

I hate meeting new people. Specially a girl I like. I care too much, my chest gets all knotted. I’m trying to start a new life.. just don’t know if it’s worth it. I get hurt that’s all that happens.

3/13/2016 4 comments

Damn It

by anthropophobia 3/11/2016

written by anthropophobia

I am feeling so damned depression, feel myself nearing the outskirts of stability. So sick of fucking living in my mind. Wish I could talk to people, and extract some joy out of it. Wish that I felt wanted, wish I had something to interact with socially, and I don’t want it. It’s all a fucking joke. It’s all my mind, my brain chemistry, my destiny maybe (?), I got no fucking clue what it is, perhaps it’s my ever dwindling and fluctuating self confidence. I have no ability to focus, all I do is mindlessly watch television. I look at sp, and the posts […]

3/11/2016 2 comments

Have I said too much?

by Beast 3/11/2016

written by Beast

It would seem that all of my plans and hope for a bearable future failed today, I wont bother with going further into details on this. I happened to have a meeting with my psychiatrist right after I figured that out and I just opened up and said that I cannot go on like this. I have to start preparations, my computer, hard drives, my room itself.. my online people.. things must be erased, those who knew me a little deserve to be informed if I go.. And now I am awaiting a call from an “emergency team” I don’t know what this means.. […]

3/11/2016 2 comments

Apologies

by candice smith 3/10/2016

written by candice smith

To my future husband, I haven’t met you yet, and I probably never will. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t be strong enough to have waited in this world for you. I’m sorry I killed our great love affair before it was even conceived.

To my unborn child/children, I’m sorry I’ll never get to bring you into this world, I’m sorry I’ll never get the opportunity to leave a part of myself to the next generation. Oh my dear babies I’m sorry I was too much of a mess that meant motherhood would always elude me.

To my future, I’m sorry the present destroyed my desire to […]

3/10/2016 3 comments

Doctor’s appointment this afternoon

by Hampshire_Girl 3/10/2016

written by Hampshire_Girl

So…in a couple of hours I’m going to be seeing my GP for the first time in a verrrry long time. I’m on medication for high blood pressure because I’m overweight. Problem is I’m a lot heavier than the last time I saw him, so my BP is probably through the roof. He’ll be wanting to know why that is. How can I explain to him why I stuff myself with food when I still trying to figure it out myself! The real problem is that hubby insists on sitting in on these 10 minute slots with the doctor. Maybe I should […]

3/10/2016 3 comments

stupid little things….

by Alan Ominous 3/7/2016

written by Alan Ominous

So, last few days been extremely hard. Like almost enough to end it all hard.

I stop at McDonald’s near work for a drink. She has it ready before I get inside. Seen me coming.

So for dinner, I stop at a McDonald’s out of state but a semi regular stopping point. They have my drink ready before I even order… and it’s free.

Point #1 I go to McDonald’s way too much

Point #3 I really feel like I’m “somebody” today. Now.
The first time I was like huh, that’s nice. The 2nd time I’m feeling all stupid and giddy.

So, to the girl at McDonald’s in Indiana […]

3/7/2016 41 comments

My costume in blood

by Cordless 3/2/2016

written by Cordless

splash-blood-scream

A few years ago, I was visiting some friends for a small party, and we were supposed to make our own original costumes.

I don’t usually “do” parties, and I’m not all that fond of costumes. Plus, this also happened at a time when I was in a seriously dark place, kind of like I am right now.

After much thought, I decided my costume would be a personification of an abstract concept.

I decided on “Sesquipedalian Exsanguination”.

Sesquipedalian means “using a lot of big long words”.

Exsanguination […]

3/2/2016 36 comments

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