That everything we have been told is a lie? Like a lot of people on here I often thought about suicide, but I thought I might at least do a lot of research on death before I really do it. I found out we might not be as free as we thought when we die. Even in death we might be trapped into keep coming back to earth to more pain and suffering. Take a look at this site http://humansarefree.com/2015/03/escape-their-trap-and-set-your-soul-free.html I have read about near death stories and they almost all involve […]
Tag:
want
If I really think about this question, it comes down to basically two things. The people in my life who would be affected and the fact that I’m scared of something going wrong with my attempt. Another odd thought came into my mind. I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE A BODY!! I don’t want somebody to have to come across me – lying there dead. I’ve always had a problem with blood (not that my method involves it) but, you know, just general messiness. I just want to disappear. I don’t even care if nobody remembers me. I just don’t want a fuss. In fact, it […]
I can’t stand it anymore. Despite the fact I had a miscarriage and I feel lonely and suicidal, my parents are pushing me over the edge. I’m forced to live with my mom which gets angry at everything and she doesn’t let me do anything even though I’m almost twenty. She locks me in her house which makes me more depressed. I feel trapped, I don’t have freedom, I don’t have anything. My dad calls me fat and is trying to force me to go to the gym while I still can’t get over my miscarriage and don’t want to lose my bump. It reminds me […]
I wrote a previous post about me finally having the opportunity to see a psychologist. I also mentioned how I am going to end it all in a month.
Please hear me out:
I want the answers. I want to hear it from a real psychologist, the things I have. I want to know if there’s something else. I want to know if I have OCD or if its something else that makes me react at times. I want to hear the doctor confirm that, yes, I do have depression. Yes, I do have something. Yes, all my self-diagnosing was correct. I want to hear that I […]
I’m finally going to go see a psychologist.
I set up a meeting for next week.
I don’t know why I am doing this. If most of y’all have followed some of my posts, I stated my decision to end it all in a month.
I guess I just want to hear the problems directly. You know, self diagnosing? I say, before I die, I want to hear it formally. A real diagnosis.
How can I really die if I’ve never heard a professional confirm it?
But hearing it all is, ultimately, not what I want either.
Its just another reason to point out and […]
How the hell can I do it. How the hell will I do it? They’ll care.
I don’t want them to care. Dear lord I don’t want them to care. God….
1 more month, and…
Oh Dear God…Help me. 🙁 ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;(
I feel alone, depressed, unloved, and empty. I can’t get over losing my baby, dropping out of school, and missing the douchebag of the father. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I’m feeling suicidal and I’m scared I’ll try tonight. I just want to talk to somebody.
Every professional I have seen always ask if you hear voices and I’m not sure how to answer. What constitutes as a voice, I talk to my self in my head all day and sometimes I tell my self to do things I know are against everything I have been taught but yet I still do them. You go so long not doing drugs or drinking then one day you hit a new low and you end up buying the things you know will end up hurting you and others. They tell you not to leave your house even though you need to make money […]
It’s no one else’s fault that I’m unhappy. The prospect of ‘living out‘, as it were, another 12 months or so of this is daunting, to say the least. It’s not that I hate my job. It’s straightforward and uncomplicated, but I can’t stand the inclination towards pedantics, the bureaucracy, and the incompetency of certain people. I mean, I know I’m not perfect but I’d like to think I do a decent job. In the end though, I know I’m replaceable. In every aspect. I wish they would just leave me alone and quit getting on my ass all the time.
I told a friend I […]
My ex-fiance broke my heart. Yep. He broke off our engagement and continues to beat me emotionally until I’m numb. I want to die. I want someone to take this pain away from me. But nobody ever does. So I think I’ll end my pain. I think I’m going to die today. Don’t tell me life’s worth the fight. My whole life has been one painful experience after another. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been crying out for help for years. I thought he was going to help me. He broke me in ways I never thought were possible. I will probably never be […]
I’m not too bright. Maybe because I’m blonde. A complete understatement. For me, anyways. I’m clumsy. Not really that good looking either. To me, anyways. Most of all, bad luck seems to follow me everywhere. Definition of ‘accident prone.’ Some times it feels like the big guy in the sky has it out for me. But seeing as I’m still alive, he must not want me that much. Maybe he just likes to watch me suffer.
So far, I had to go to the mental hospital three times. All together I have 16 scars, and that’s only on my right arm. A […]
It’s stupid to think that nobody would miss you if you died. Incredibly so, because someone is bound to notice and miss your presence. Your friends, family, pets, that guy you sit next to at work or class. That’s never been the issue for me, I guess.
Ive been doing so good. I thought that maybe it wasn’t so bad anymore. I didn’t want to die, I wanted to move on. Relapse really sucks. I wish…I wish that I had a better time with those therapists. I wish my psychiatrist actually helped me, I wish the pills worked but they didn’t. What […]
Well today i got diagnosed with ptsd on top of my depression and anxiety.
This week has been really hard. I honestly just want to give up. My parents kicked me out today because im to “crazy” for them to handle. Which i guess i really am. Now i don’t know what to do there is no shelter any where around me and its winter. I just want this week to be over.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
This is my second post. I still feel depressed. I lost my baby and can’t seem to get over it. My dad tells me I’m fat everyday and says I should go to the gym but I don’t really want my bump to go away…at least not yet. I even miss the asshole of the father of my baby even thou he mistreated me and is happy as it could be. I can’t trust anyone. I feel alone. My family is not supportive. I wish to be gone.
So yesterday was the most stress full day ever wondering or not is going to drag me out of my husband grandparents house so go news he didn’t.so that leaves me with scary unsurance what is going to happen and I don’t know.
so what kind end of happenig was my husband and I I end up watching a documentary about 11 which means anxious depressedso when the movie ended.he took of the computer awayw and he kept on asking me what was wrong physically wouldn’t answer like a really with all my strength not. Able open my mouth and tell […]
My tear soaked pillow mourns the absence of drought
The piles of tissues in the corner regret their existence
My heart begs to beat again and feel the warm embrace
The confusion sets in with unbearable force
If only I were perfect would you like me? Would you come back?
Would you realize that your words sting like sandpaper?
Or when I cry it feels like acid
If only you understood what really happened
If you could only listen
Hear my frail cries
If I were different
Would you notice?
Or would it matter to you if I wasn’t there at all.
I […]
Do you ever have one of those nights where all of the thoughts that you try to keep in the back of your head come out all at once and all you want to do is cry? Well, that’s literally me as I’m typing this. But I wanna know, what are some things that distract you? Or even make you happy? This is starting to become a weekly habit and it needs to stop now.
So I decided to take off my post of shouting, I said thing I shouldn’t have said. Sorry about it, was too aggressive.
But I am rescuing Rocketman’s list of Confucius sayings 🙂 for the posterity. Do enjoy it.
Thanks to Alan and to Rocketman for you support today.
the idea as you know is to make fun of a very wise man Confucius! hey when he started making all these sayings he must of known he would also be a target for silliness! you don’t have to read them all but here are a few.
Confucius Jokes That […]
as i lay in my bed on this beautiful saturday morning, i couldn’t help but think.
i just do not want to be here anymore.
i had not one reason to leave my cocoon this morning. the only reason i got up out of bed, at 1 in the afternoon, was to use the washroom.
i wish i could talk about this, these feelings, with someone in real life without getting into trouble. i just do not want to be here anymore. i do not want to be in a hospital, but i do not want to be me, alone, in this apartment, anymore.
it’s just become way too […]