Hi been a while Im still horrible and want to die but cant
Fond out my sister in law had to get rid of her pregnancy I have be a mess since I found out i was there on the phone when she was given the good news now im sick over it . I cant talk to my brother beacuse I know I will cry on the phone with himand I dont want to put Him threw that .
I hust hate my life Im traped And i wanna die really just drop dead .
Im gonna see captain America tonight that about it .
I been thinking […]
Does anyone else want to jump off a bridge listening to to the announcers in Professional sports like the NHL , NFL and MLB ?
Went back to my high school today for their spring musical. It’s been six years, and I still get emotional about that time in my life. The students did spectacular, indescribably so actually. I was so impressed. And then I had this moment, and it was almost like I could literally feel something shifting, breaking in my brain. It was all I could do to stand up or keep from crying. Good thing I had to leave early to get ready for work tonight. Six years, and so much has happened, and yet, I have made absolutely no progress. I really am so hopeless. Death, […]
Hey everyone, new and old SP members. I know its hard for you guys right now. But do me a favor and keep fighting. Im fighting too.
I’ve recently been into reading much more than I usually am. There’s this author, Paulo Coelho who seems to understand everything its crazy and be able to express exactly what i think and feel in his work. I don’t know what your situations are, but I really want you guys to consider no read these books. Im not saying they will change your life immediately. but they will definitely have you thinking, and acknowledging and growing.
I know a lot […]
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I need some advice. The more people respond to this thread the better, please.
Some of you might recognize me and know what I’m going through, well I may have found a way out.
There’s this scholarship I can apply for that will allow me to go to Japan for a degree. I match almost all the requirements, the only thing left to do would be the knowledge test. But…
I will die next year, that’s a real fact. So what if I get the scholarship? An entire government will put their trust in me, but I will fail them and end up dying. All the resources they’ll […]
I diagnosed myself to be a schizoid, but due to self-diagnosis, people may laugh it off, but I know myself very well.
I have no desire to live, or to die. I see no real meaning to continue living. Everyone has to die, isn’t it? It also seems to be the quicker way to get rid of the boredom I have had all my life. Though my circumstances are just as bad as any other suicidal person, I have no real emotional attachment to anything in life. I live alone in Japan, though I was not raised here, hence I don’t even speak japanese.
There is no […]
my boyfriend knew something was wrong. bless his beautiful soul. he held me and asked me what was wrong. i went to class and came back and he had written me a letter saying sorry. sorry for what? he is too nice to me.
he is making it harder for me to do it. im a burden on everones life. i take up space and resources. im tired all the time even when all i do is lay in bed. he still calls me beautiful. i really want him to stop caring so i can just fucking die. theres so much unnecessary pain surrounding everyone. for […]
i’ve been having a very difficult time lately. i have a lot of health issues both mental and physical and they’re finally catching up to me. it’s been very difficult holding on, but even more so now than before because my family is now explicitly honest about how they feel about my condition.
my health issues have gotten to the point where i can’t work. i can’t function on my own anymore. i am a burden. i’ve been in the gray area of suicide since the age of nine and i’ve only been open about it in the last two years. it’s gotten worse. everything has gotten worse […]
Hi
I don’t really understand what all this is and what i’m doing here but this is all i have i guess
I’ll start this by saying my life is a quiet mess
I’m a 21 year old trans person (im agender, im not male or female) and I live with my shitty mom
now i’m not saying she’s shitty just because I don’t like her, she really is a cruel person. She’s left me in this weird limbo where i can’t tell what is and isn’t abuse anymore and she’s neglected me, mostly emotionally, that i don’t know what to do. She only knows I can like anyone […]
I don’t want to try and fight this shit anymore. Its funny because this thought never goes away. It lessens. Well today its a little stronger than normal. Its been building. Festering probably going to morph into an alternative better version of me. The sad thing is that I doubt anyone would be able to tell the difference. They would like “her” more. I’m being consumed by my own demons. I gave up on trying to fight them long ago. I’m fucked for however long I live. I’m stuck living, failed at taking my life and a whole bunch of other shit. I can’t even […]
Despite still having this energy and whatnot, the voices and figures have made it impossible to do anything with it for the past few days – meaning I have been increasingly irritable and angry.
I haven’t gotten any work done because I can’t concentrate on anything, so the energy gets burnt off with arguments and fights with my stepdad (verbal and physical – my cheekbone is slightly bruised again, which was accidental, but I’ve covered it so no one knows anyway).
I saw my therapist on Friday and she’s happy with me – I didn’t tell her much, and my mum was going on about how ‘well […]
I’m 32, I failed at life. I suffer from PTSD because of sexual abuse during my childhood. I’m seeing a therapist, I’ve had lots of therapy in the past and I just can’t seem to get myself together. I hate it, I feel lonely. I know I don’t want to die but this is not living either. Ptsd symptoms started showing about 10 years ago when I fell in love, we broke up 1,5 years ago. I just felt like I was getting worse and worse. It’s hard to come by financially and I’m just tired of fighting of feeling like this . I’m done […]
They always hurt, no matter what. Any positive emotions always seem to lead to negative emotions of equal or greater power. So I want to get rid of them. I’ll take a damn lobotomy if I have to. I just want to be rid of them for good. They cause nothing but problems and pain.
Sorry for double posting. I want to have a heart attack. Im such a fucking failure. I’m so fucking alone and meaningless. I have no escape from this shit i want to die. I’m considering whether or not i can try attempt again. Unfortunately I won’t have any good attempts. Im thinking about slicing my thighs to ribbons just to express this pain.
During a nervous breakdown I bulrted out I WANT TO KILL MYSLEF. Instead of an understanding conversation I got an hour lecture by Sandra because she is more un happy than me and she is out 80gs because of this town….only becuase “I TOLD HER TO BUY IT. ” and how everything that happen before November was a figment of my Imagination and How I destroyed my life she told me That she will send me home if I really want to kill myself she dose not know why. So she will call my mother in the morning if the feeling dose not pass……on the […]
I think the fact that I been cutting on an unusual amount recently has finally got me. I finally talked to both of my parents they’re both telling me to come home which I’m starting to think they’re right I’ve only been here 1 month the Amount have a Damage made to myself is too much . I think I’m actually might have left a scar so I I haven’t left a scar since I was 17 years old .when I left the the first letter of the words garbage worthless dirt selfish junk and I should kill myself .I seen yesterday those letters are […]
Hey everybody, this is going to be short for a change lol. I just want to say that when I post or comment I can be long winded, sorry for that. I hope at no time that my words are ever taken out of context, or come off as offensive. I tend to say what’s on my mind and here I try and take the time to word everything just right. I have met some of the most extraordinary people here who have talked me in from the edge and for that I’m so thankful. I just want […]
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the universe works in mysterious ways every time i have a bad day or im in a dark place I get signs that show me that everything is going to be alright
like when I tryed my 3rd attempt I found money on the way to the hospital
today A baby was smiling at me on the train on my way to college after I gave a man some change I had and then I passed my final test wile walking up the road the sun felt like it was shining right on me there is something much more powerful in the universe what ever u want […]
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