This morning I found myself clutching my wrist. There was a bag of razors in the bathroom, my dad was watchin tv, it wouldn’t have been hard to just end it all right there. I dont want to kill myself, I want to be killed. I pray for someone to just run me over, to get my kidnapped by terrorists and shot in the head. I want someone to just do me a favor. Am I being selfish for wanting to leave my family? Do people on this earth really need me or am I just flattering myself? I just dont know anymore. I give up…
In my dreams, every night, I am back at school (it’s been nearly 10 years.) There, all my defences crumble, and I am confronted with my deepest fears. My peers can finally treat me with the contempt I deserve. No need to hide how pathetic, repulsive, or worthless I am. None of the kindness or tact that you find in real life. Everyone is completely callous, if not actively malevolent. I am an other, an outsider, to be sneered at, laughed at, and rejected. Everyone is against me, and I am powerless to escape or change the situation. Even the teachers despise me – I am […]
Fuck this world ! Fuck its creator! Fuck this reality !! None of us asked to be here !! We only die when we have something to live for but you can go all ur life jus wanting the peace of death nd will never get it !!! So fuck this world cant wait for it to blow up!!! #wherethefuckisarmageden
I’m fucking drink with less than honorable intentions. Time to get romantic.
So kick back.
Take a sippy sip.
And get wooed.
I’ll keep it cut to three unless someone digging n wanting more. Whom I kidding, us always need a Lil more huh.
To Airrie. To IamABuilding. To vho. To Soco. To Iwantpeace2.
To joeld. To AnnieBear. To Raven. To Fantajin. To Nathaniel_Morisawa.
To into_the_sky. To rivets. To butterfly1123. To whiskered-fish. To those I missed.
To ALL of you.
I urge you to watch this documentary. No, I am not here to “save” you.
I don’t come here with false promises or magic potions. All I have is me.
I am HERE4UOK.
I just want you to be more aware, more informed, to feel encouraged a little. Maybe. For a moment even. In a positive way.
Don’t let the tunnel vision of entrapment, the wall of people and circumstances around […]
Today I tried taking my life, i left home after greeting my wife and kids, having them believe that i was off to work. Instead i had planned to go to the river pop as many pills as possible and pass out. I threw up everything. Not deterred, i pulled out a knife and started cutting at myself, the blade was too dull, now imagine the feeling of being cut without actually bleeding, hurts like a ************. Still undeterred, i went home, locked myself away in a room and proceeded to beat the living hell out of myself…(picture fight club). I passed out, and when […]
I’m not wanting anyone to say stop. I’m standing on the chair in the basement of my house. I have paracord tied securely to the steel beams of the house. A noose around my neck. Smoking my favorite cigarette. With a Guinness and a tall drink of jameson.
FUCK IT. IM GONE.
I been cutting again I dont know why I thought I stoped but all of a sudden the razor blade was in my hand and I mad three small cuts no biggie. but becuase my body was acting before my brain I cut deep I was wearing a cardigan and I soaked the inside of it with blood . today I woke up to the devil yelling again Im shit Im lazy worthless I using her for money I am taking advantage her ……..I dont want me kids to be them wich I never said out of my mouth only on sp so What the […]
Given that death is inevitable for all, the pertinent question would seem to be: what do I want to do in whatever time is left.
There are things that I would like to do in my remaining time. But none of them are tangible, based in my real life. They require me to be other than I am. And I do not know how to be other than I am. I do not know how to give up being myself. I am addicted to it. Attached to it. Neurosis, unhappiness, unease is the way I define my reality. I cannot give it up. I cannot accept the […]
Lately I can’t stop feeling like this world is such a difficult place to be in. Obviously, it is, for like 90% of people. But, when I say it, I think so deeply about it. The overpopulation, unemployment, homelessness- so many good and intelligent people with no place to sleep, let alone work. And then I am here. Not necessarily privileged, but certainly more than many, having had a good education, enough money, and a place to live. Is that fair? Do I deserve what so many people could only dream to have.
I complain about this life, my life, and I can’t stop the misery I get […]
I wish I could tell the people closest to me that I want to end it all.. I wish someone would say: “It’s okay, you can let go.”
I just want to end the pain, the sadness, the constant voice in my head saying that I’m not good enough for anyone or anything.
Last night I was told that nobody will ever love me. I believed that I was destined for love. Now I don’t believe in it anymore.
Does it make me a sinner for wanting to die??
Heh, I can’t even write anymore. One thought seems to take a minute now. My thoughts and actions are as fast as a 100-year-old when I’m only a quarter that age…
Oh well, never understood the point of living, to be honest. All these feelings and sensations are just symbols of vanity to my apathetic mind. Besides, I don’t really give a damn if the next president is a woman or Neo-Hitler. Although, it will be much easier to get rid of this Hitler compared to the first one. Humanity will destroy itself regardless of method. That is their fate. Unless humanity can develop something to […]
I know you guys have been listening to my bullshit about my ex for quite some time. I finally made a huge step in parting ways with him. I guess I have had enough… enough wanting him… enough trying to be his friend…
We just need to be done with each other.
I can’t even put into words how hard this is/was….
Thank you to everyone here that gave me advice and would listen to my rants.
The friend I got to know with a mutual fetish and I ended up really liking beyond. I don’t know what kind of relationship it was. More then a platonic friendship, yet no serious commintment.
I guess it is my fault that I love him. Him for showing me something caring, sensual and loving without wanting to get into my pants.
He broke it to me a week ago. When we saw us first and had a lovely day together and wanting to repeat it some time later he actually saw another one. A real, biological woman and not just some wannabe.
He said he was sorry that he lied to […]
I lost my house today
I lost a friend
I had a smoke
and now I have a empty heart ,mind ,body &soul
I fear the feeling of nothingness and I’m now lying here with the nothingness that I’m afraid to stay awake but yet more terrified to sleep as I’m not wanting to wake . I fear the dissapointment ,the heartache, the miss leading throughts . I fear myself and well being.
I fear being me …
God I was hoping I wouldn’t have to get this out, but it occupies my thoughts every single day so I have to do something about it. I suffer from social anxiety, which helps me on making friends (ha sarcasm) but I really want to meet new people, and I try SO hard.When I do try to strike up a conversation people just look at me weird and laugh! I’m even nice to people but they treat me like I’m garbage, or a mat to walk all over on.Why even try! I have a few friends, but they don’t know me. They don’t know what […]
Hi,
This is my first post on this website and I’m not usually the type of person who does that but I have no one left in my life to talk to so I guess I’m turning to you guys…. Anyways, the past few months have been pretty hard I went on an exchange in Italy which turned out to be the worst experience of my life because the family I stayed with was yelling at me and insulting me the whole time… So I came back home way earlier than I should have and that’s where everything started. This exchange completely destroyed me I had […]
I didn’t realise how broken my 5 year old nephew is he sat on the middle of the road wanting to be ran over because he said he felt so alone I ran across the road we both nearly got run over by a van we both cried and I realised if he was to kill himself I would follow straight after. I don’t want to die anymore and leave him in this world to suffer alone he told me I’m the only person he had last night he had a nightmare that me and him were the only ones alive and everyone else were […]
Hi there.
Well I’ve been on this site a couple of times now and I have been wanting to join for a while.
I have noticed how so many people are hurting and I honestly can empathize with some.
I hope I can share my story with you guys someday. (I’m not sure I’m ready right now)
Anyways, I really wish you guys the best of luck with whatever your going through <3
Goodnight.
It’s your typical existential thought but I think there is a perspective that no one has pointed out. All the good in the world and everything that people consider good is true by their own standards. Humans only have self justification and nothing else. Those who judge suicidal people and think we are wrong for thinking like that dont really have anyway knowing that we are wrong.
For all we know, wanting to end your life is the best thing one can do
Newer Posts