This is my first post so. There’s no justified reason for me to talk about my background or how I came to the point where I am now talking about my worthless life to a bunch of people who I don’t know and who probably don’t care. I’m sure the things I post will be the same things everyone’s heard a million times. I’m not saying that it makes what anyone has been through any less significant or important or painful and damaging, but it kind of sucks that I’m just another depressed, screwed up teenager reaching out to people on the internet because there’s […]
I lost the game. She really does hate me now even though, my depression and apathy were the causes for why I pushed her away. I guess I deserve this fate… A fate worse than death or Hell… A living Hell with only one escape. It’s fine. I was tired of fighting sanity and life, anyway… I’m moving my date to tonight.
Goodbye, everyone.
I’ve been told I’m this ,that , and all things under the sun.
yelled at swore at , treated worse then the dirt we stand apon ..
Been mentally and physically abuse
been made and out that I’m a nobody nothingness ..
And they don’t ask how I’m doing
they don’t see that I’m fulling
that I can’t breath
that I’m filling up my body with discuss
my soul is literally nothing
my mind is full of hate
and I’m giving up .
I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I just don’t love any of you any more. I say that I do, and sometimes I feel an echo inside of the feeling that used to be signified by those words. But I don’t love you any more. I go through the motions, and I say the right bits of dialogue. But inside I’m empty and lonely and tired.
The road stretching ahead is more of the same emptiness. There’s no place I want to travel to, nothing I want to do, no one I want to see. I’m tired of movies, tired of books, tired of the […]
So my family think I’ve either gone completely insane, or I’m on drugs. This energy and hyperactivity hasn’t gone away – in fact, it’s getting worse. My sleep is also next to nonexistent. I can’t slow down my speech, and I can’t stop moving around.
I got this sudden urge to go to the beach, and so I made my stepdad take me since I wasn’t allowed out the house alone – we went the beach at 9:30 at night. And I literally did a karaoke in the car in the way home again – I have also decided I’m rebuilding hospitals to give them all […]
I’m finally letting go. Life just keeps on getting worse. Nothing good ever happens anymore. I always have to put up a façade that I’m happy and hope that people don’t see what is really going on. I know if I act unhappy, people will ask and I know I will never be able to give a good enough answer without everyone being suspicious. I know I have to ‘catch the bus’ soon. I always wonder if there is an afterlife or if we just turn into ghosts and just lurk around, basically stalking people just we aren’t really there. I know I’m going to […]
I’m so tired of being tired. I don’t have the energy or focus to do anything worthwhile. I can’t move forward – I don’t have the strength. I struggle to even do the bare minimum. I’m just here, slowly decaying. I’m scared to give up – to die. But nothing will change if I stay. I can’t sleep properly. I can’t eat without stomach pains. I can’t be around people without gut wrenching anxiety. This isn’t some temporary stage that’ll pass. This is me.
I’m just here, not dying, not really living. It could be worse. It probably will get worse.
I don’t know how to live […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I just want someone to vent to, but I have no friends, I was once close to my siblings but I think they all kind of just got tired of me, and everyone else who is supposed to be my support system tells me people have it worse than I do so I have no reason to be depressed and quite honestly I have no Idea why my depression started, but I do know what triggered my suicidal tendencies and what is keeping me down and I want someone to listen with the intention of understanding and no just to reply. I want that without […]
All of my life I had been abused by my parents and my parents were abusive to each other until my mom walked out on us for a year and then our parents just ignored us. In elementary school I had a lot of problems in class and I would sometime sit there and cry all day and have to kept in the office. Sometimes I would talk to the school counselor. One day in the 4th grade the counselor called me in and told me she would have me take an anonymous survey that a bunch of other kids were taking and told me not […]
Well, things have gotten worse. My parents found out that I was going on this site (they went through my search history, apparently privacy is a privilege that I can’t have) and they were furious. They sent me to some doctor who diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and OCD (yey me). Oh, and I still don’t have any friends. At least the weather is warming up, gonna get to use that charcoal and tent soon.
I used to loving making Mac and cheese. It’s so delicious. And its usually a pretty simple recipe.. Noodles, seasoning, your choice of cheese… Or cheeses… Any amount of cheese you please cause its your Mac and cheese. Mine would be either pepper jack or cream cheese.
Lately though, Mac and cheese have been the worse thing for me to cook. I can’t find the right size pan and the water is just boiling over…. The noodles are barely cooked or way over cooked… Noodles sticking the the bottom… Missing ingredients… It’s a disaster in the kitchen…
I hate Mac and cheese
Hello…
It seems I find myself at yet again another rock bottom. You know just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse it actually does, and it just keeps getting worse and worse.
I just dropped out of college because lets just say depression kind of took over. It seems my childhood events have finally caught up to me. From my step-dad who I thought was my real dad leaving me and my mom on his birthday when I was 7 to my older brother being sentenced to 15 years in prison for committing murder, things just have never been easy for me. I just lost […]
Holy fuck, where to start.
Today was weird. I just kind of went with it. I didn’t imagine that anything like today would happen ever again. You’re so much different than the last time. Each time I see you, you change a little bi more. You’re, different.
I can feel the positivity burst from you. Holy shit, overwhelming. We barely spoke but It wasn’t needed. We caught up with each other today. I hope that I don’t affect anything for you again. But I can’t promise something that I don’t know if I can keep.
You look a lot better than before, healthier. You present yourself totally different. […]
I should be happy, right? My birthday is soon and I’ll be 25… Fuck that! I don’t want to live to 50, let alone 25. This urge is getting worse. I want to take a knife, cut open my stomach and rip my damn guts out.
This turtle I’m eating tastes nice… like gluttony.
I am tired, ive struggled for many years now, through chronic pain and major depression. I became distant from my partner and now i have lost her, we have been separated for the last year, and while i love her with all my heart i know we can never be together again,
my regret will be leaving my little girls, but i know watching there Daddy slowly decline will be worse for them, i only have one wish, and that is to hope they will know that daddy will love them forever, and i will always be with them, i only have a week or two […]
my mom noticed the long scar on my arm when i rolled my sleeve up a little to wash my hands. god did i panic. i told her my friend’s cat scratched me ages ago and that it was my fault since i bothered it… i think she bought it but christ was i scared. i didn’t want another sobbing lecture about how selfish i am and how much i need jesus. (or worse, another expensive visit to the ER.)
hey does anyone here play fire emblem fates? it’s been good at keeping me distracted from suicidal ideation. i love a good […]
I finally joined after a few days of reading what people have written, which isn’t much different from what I want to say. I have had thoughts of suicide, I’ve actually been very close to committing suicide, I stopped myself from that one time, I held a knife that was digging into my neck. The only reason why i stopped was because of the effects on my family. I think of suicide everyday now, it’s becoming worse. Now i cut my wrists. I sit in my room alone and I cut myself, every cut I would make I would have tears in my eyes, and […]
I’ve tried to say more, I’ve WANTED to, but I don’t know what a plastic person can offer that isn’t plastic.
I have a job, a home, health, food, shelter, the necessities. My coworkers like me, my family cares about me, my friends mean the world to me. Somehow it makes me feel even worse about myself, more of an ingrate, more worthless, more hopeless.
Life is always so strange when you know that you’re not going to die of natural causes.
And by strange, I mean that it’s like… Getting a case of horrible stage fright that gets even worse the closer you get. I wonder how bad it’s going to get when I join the marines.