Category:

Chronic Pain

Fever Talk

by PanicRevelation 9/5/2018

written by PanicRevelation

I couldn’t sleep again.

I couldn’t change anything, I can’t be changed, I want to but I don’t, I won’t, I keep changing but at the same time nothing has.

I can’t. Can’t what?

There are so many thoughts but nothing at all coming to mind, it becomes so hazy and bogged down.

I can’t do this. I’ve lost my way in life again, I say that but to begin with I never had a direction at all. My head hurts.

Why does my body have to ache like this, my head is dizzy and burning hot but my body is cold to the touch and sweaty. Maybe I have […]

9/5/2018 0 comment

wave of depression

by tiredofchronicpain 9/5/2018

written by tiredofchronicpain

I am a 29 year old male suffering from a soup of mental disorders and other tribulations, hence my other posts. I am unemployed, living with my parents after graduating with my electronics engineering degree. I am unable to find work, depressed, and tired. Instead of explaining my previous posts over again, I will just come to the point of how I feel now. At this moment, I am at a low no one else around me can surface. I suffer from something that I was afraid might get worse by time; I suffer from extreme self hate and body dysmorphic disorder – or as […]

9/5/2018 0 comment

Does it even matter

by PanicRevelation 9/3/2018

written by PanicRevelation

Does it even matter anymore? honestly it never did.

I tried so hard and so hard to die but each attempt failed leaving me here. So many years wasted.

How much more shame can i build up.

I thought maybe appreciating the small things in life would lead me to a happier life. after every failed jump and drowning and overdose. After bleeding out and forced into therapy for years and years at a time. I still feel so empty inside. Nothing has helped. I just want to die but even that has proven to be useless.

So I thought dying in a different way would be more effective.

More […]

9/3/2018 1 comment

Precognition of Pain

by Yikrens 9/2/2018

written by Yikrens

it’s okay that everyone turn missing for a little, for a short, for long, for ever.pretending soon or close to have born alone, to be raised alone, to learned alone and to loved alone, cried alone and married alone.

to have fucked alone, till I found myself in a lie, one of which the wreck turned to recover and inserted in this world alone that suddenly I turned insane to not been at all alone.

but all I meet, anyone there is getting me to know is fading out life.

the world is yet not close to understand, healed. corruption is raised and cultivated. any declaration destroyed and […]

9/2/2018 0 comment

stuck

by niladri54321 8/26/2018

written by niladri54321

i dont know how to say this but failure always been part of my life.been following this page for 4 years n it gives me strength to survive this harsh world.

i m stuck. all my friends r moving forward n i feel like i m the only one no one gaves a damn my friend started ignoring me i guess bcoz they have jobs n i m still in college have tried to kill myself but i m a coward bcoz i dont want to lose my life like this all i have known is” giving up is not an option” no matter how hard […]

8/26/2018 1 comment

CAN YOU RELATE?

by LoneSoul 8/26/2018

written by LoneSoul

I hope this song helps

8/26/2018 0 comment

I’ve been taking Valium for 4 years

by Titania 8/24/2018

written by Titania

I lost all my emotions 2 years ago. I feel less pleasure. I lost all my motivation.

I know it was the drug (Valium) that caused this.

But I can’t stop it, withdrawal is unsustainable. I can’t go to a mental hospital. I’ve been there before and they give neuroleptics. They’re not helping, they’re hiding the problem.

Who’s been taking benzodiazepines for years?

8/24/2018 6 comments

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

by niki 8/18/2018

written by niki

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate reality , reality is boring !
I hate real life , real life is boring !
I hate real world , real world is boring !

I wish I live in movie / movies , I wish movies were real
I wish I live in video games , I wish games were real
I wish I live in novels , I wish novels were real
I wish I live in anime […]

8/18/2018 3 comments

sorry mom

by thisisnothing 8/14/2018

written by thisisnothing

my mom told me to go drown about a year ago. the thought stuck in my mind and it really just cant be erased or ignored to the point that i actually conidered it. she doesnt love me. it’s obvious. i’m pointless. pointless to the point of my own mother wanting me dead. i decided to be numb and quiet. a bit recently, she said that if i would kill myself she wouldnt care. she shamed me in front of everyone and cursed at me. i know that i can’t bear this anymore. i tried to get help but she told me that everyone experiences […]

8/14/2018 4 comments

Pain wins in the end, everytime

by ButterBoi 8/11/2018

written by ButterBoi

I do not want to die. I really don’t. I just cannot keep living like this. I was injured. Bad. I should start by saying I am a very sensitive and empathetic person, maybe too much so, but to me people just seemed cruel, and so growing up I preferred the company of animals. I turned my empathy into a wonderful career, saving endangered species in very remote locations of the world, with very little interaction with people. It was perfect for me, and I loved it. Unfortunately, it is also very dangerous work. I did it long enough that my number finally got punched. […]

8/11/2018 4 comments

Broken

by blackout21 8/9/2018

written by blackout21

I am just going to describe my situation, thoughts and feelings here in arbitrary order:
-I am addicted to dimethyl ether(gas in hair spray cans) and media including porn.
-I just now realize how much damage this has caused. I fail at almost everything I try. (85% of the last 7 bigger things I tried)
-I was diagnosed with 3 different mental health issues.(ADD, PTSD, paranoid schizophrenia(here in Europe the chances of being employed with this alone is only around 15%(https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15133589))
-I think I have lost a good chunk of my intelligence.(I once had a high IQ(well seems like I only now know what I have […]

8/9/2018 2 comments

Where the Lonely Ones Roam

by sansfranzdeput 8/7/2018

written by sansfranzdeput

If you’ve ever seen any of my previous posts on my chronic mental and emotional afflictions, then you must know this: that I am in pain; and, for most people- if not all- pain is something people hate. They most often turn to addiction or something essentially the same to hide or suppress their issue, whatever it may be.

I myself have had addiction issues before, and still struggle with an addiction to Pornography. That, and my depression and all around loneliness will be the topics I so boringly lay out before you all in this post today.

Since a very young age, I have been obsessed […]

8/7/2018 2 comments

The Damage Done.

by Brody2018 8/6/2018

written by Brody2018

Well, where do I begin?
My life has been a roller coaster and would probably make an intriguing, but sad film.
So, why am I here?
I want to die. Badly. The decision is made and it will be carried out very, very soon. First a few affairs to get in order, then off to eternal sleep.
Why?
In a nutshell…..
When I was teen I was physically and sexually abused by my stepfather in private. He would sneak into my room, when I was asleep, put duct tape over my mouth to stop screaming. Then after each time he would say that “nobody believes […]

8/6/2018 4 comments

requiem

by imsosorry2468 8/5/2018

written by imsosorry2468

It’s taking a lot for me to write this. I’ve had so conjure up the will or energy to even post here again. I feel so hopeless right now. I just want to die already!

God it’s so hard. To think about the shit storm of pain I’ll leave behind. I hate myself for feeling like this. I think people would be sad for a while but at least they’d be able to move on finally and live their lives without having to worry about me or pay for my therapy or my school or anything . My mom could start to fix her marriage […]

8/5/2018 3 comments

I wish everyone would love me…

by WanderingDreamer91 8/2/2018

written by WanderingDreamer91

I wish everyone would love me so I wouldn’t havw to be hurt anymore…

Their wouldn’t be any misunderstandings, or disagreements, or avoidance, or hatred and so on…

People would understsnd me and love.me forever…

I… what was it agsin that some people said in my last post about a girlfriend?

I should wsit for the girl to come to.me? How? Why? This isn’t Welcome to the NHK, there is no Misaki, I’m trying to be realistic.

How am I going to find people atrracted to.me just by natural persona? Or shoukd I some friendship into something more eith a girl I find?

Well how do you find and make friends…?

I […]

8/2/2018 10 comments

Loneliness

by rejection 8/1/2018

written by rejection

I wonder if there is a cure to loneliness…

8/1/2018 4 comments

To Whom It May Concern

by bec1998 7/30/2018

written by bec1998

I feel nothing but pain. The smile on my face is fake. The happy, carefree woman who was a mascot two consecutive years in high school, who sang for small crowds, who wished for world peace when she was younger, who wanted to be beautiful, has died. There is only a broken, tearful, world-weary woman in excruciating pain. A woman who spends her days crying. Who spends her nights crying. Who can’t take the pain.

I feel like I’m a burden to people, and I want to free them from their burden. I make everyone else sad because I have crippling depression, and I’ve had it […]

7/30/2018 4 comments

What is it?

by ariusversea 7/30/2018

written by ariusversea

What is it?

What is it about me that makes me lesser than?

What is it about me that makes it so that I can’t be as good as her?

What is it about me that makes me think of what she would have done, how she would have done better had she been in my situation?

What is it about me that makes me incapable of being her?

I should be happy. I have everything. Everything I wanted. Everything she doesn’t have.

Almost everything.

She has the grades. The natural talent. The recognition that she is in fact the best.

The recognition that I am, in fact, in second place.

And second […]

7/30/2018 2 comments

Groundhog Day Loop

by WanderingDreamer91 7/24/2018

written by WanderingDreamer91

Groundhog Day Loop Syndrome

(Image Source: Haruhi Suzumiya (Anime/Manga))

Itsuki: “We’ve entered an endless recursion of time. (x4)”

Intro

(Some rambling, sorry. :()

Sigh… I feel like saying so many things on here. 🙁

Like, most of it is on my profile I guess, but it would be nice to talk about personality stuff to see where everyone is at so I can get to know them, or if they never looked into it, they could to discover themselves. 🙂 Like, Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, arguably sillier ones like their D&D alignment, […]

7/24/2018 2 comments

Angry

by Sextoyfortheuniverse 7/23/2018

written by Sextoyfortheuniverse

This was actually my reply to a comment and I think instead of replying to the person I somehow effectively ranted about my situation and I am too tired to type or think again so I will just paste it here.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and schizophrenia a year back. I was a great student but the indian education system has zero respect for anyone who actually cares about learning so i had to repeat a year and for the past six months i have been getting bullied in college for volunteering to repeat even though I did get the pass marks. My dad […]

7/23/2018 2 comments

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