Chronic Pain

0

Facing failure.

  June 7th, 2015 by Haven

I haven’t been posting for a while. Been swamped by the exam season.

Here’s an update…

My final week of exams is coming up.

I’m not prepared. That’s for certain.

The sensible thing to do is to study for it, of course. If only it were that easy. I wonder how many times I’ve said that to myself?

Saying it is one thing, but to actually get down to doing what I’ve said is the difficult part.

I’ve become so reliant on other people to give me that extra push. Even then, their efforts were to no avail.

I have no idea how to combat my defeatist attitude. They have no idea …

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2

No problem

  June 6th, 2015 by AolePilikia

I don’t really have problems. My life is pretty awesome. I am surrounded by people who love me, I am likable, I am cute, and I make other people happy. I can’t really ask for more.

But there is a hollowness to all of it. An emptiness that I have felt for many years. And under that, a pain that I have been pushing down and burying deep, deep inside.

I don’t know why it hurts, just that it always has. When I think about it, I can feel it. I’m always aware of it. This terrible sucking, aching, vacuous throbbing that beats inside my chest and …

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0

When???

  June 5th, 2015 by Shalesnail

Screenshot_2015-05-08-14-44-43IMG_20150601_072218Ugh..where to start lol obviously the biggining I was raised by my grandma until age13 when I moved in with my mom for first time it was strange I had grown up with no power or running water on a farm an town life was totally new to me I quickly took up smoking pot for a few years but by age 15 I had moved to BC again to quesnel and by 17 had tried cocaine eventually my girl got pregnant and my mom …

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4

No matter what

  June 4th, 2015 by GalaxyEyesXx

Why do we pick days for suicide? I have been trying to plan mine for a fucking year, maneuvering the date around birthdays or special occasions. But then I realized, it doesn’t matter what day it is. It doesnt matter if we leave a note expressing our apologies to loved ones or telling them how much we love them. It is never going to take the pain away. Suicide is selfish and I’m not going to bullshit myself anymore. It just is. But people make selfish decisions all the time, not revolving around death. I’m choosing this for me. For once in my life, I’m …

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2

If today is the worst day of your life…

  June 4th, 2015 by 2wolves

…then what is tomorrow?

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13

Imma just fucking jump off a bridge already. Whos with me?

  June 3rd, 2015 by BridgeJumper1994

Okay, so here it goes. Im nearing an ultimate moral downfall now. Ive went from fastening belts on my neck or swallowing a couple of pills to straight forward assaulting myself. I entirely despise my whole life. Life has caused me nothing but pain and suffering. Each day I struggle to wake up properly cause theres just no reason to go on doing things people usually do at all. I have closed myself inside my cage. I dont usually talk, Im not socializing anymore. Been abused in school, first sexually when I was 13, then bullied and some physical violence too. Parents beat me up …

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0

It’s all over

  June 3rd, 2015 by disgusting

My job is going under, so I’m out of a job. I’m homeless already and can’t pay to stay anywhere now. I’m disabled too but they say I’m perfectly fine so that I can’t so much as get a disabled bus pass. I have been promised full time with benefits for the last 8 months and now they are going out of business. And my love is begging for a place to stay too, and I had hoped so much to be able to get my own place so he could stay with me. I know he’ll never be mine and now what can I …

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0

  June 2nd, 2015 by shomotbh

how can you see

the pain in my eyes

then just let me be

and say goodbye

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4

My first ever post on SP: want to share something

  June 1st, 2015 by Broken_angel

(sorry,please forgive me for my bad English)
I joined Suicide project just a month ago.
I found this site when i was searching for The most easiest and less painful methods to kill myself on google. I read all the daily posts of of SP but never had that guts to post my own story. It really inspires me when i see how people are expressing their feelings,because i really can’t express my own feels to anybody.
I never tried to share my feelings to anybody,its really embarassing,
because I know nobody cares..and nobody will..I don’t talk much so they thinks Im moody,egoistic,
selfish,proudy and what not,but they don’t know …

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2

desperate

  June 1st, 2015 by treekoke1

I am 18 years old im not posting this for any other reason than to just do it, my lifes not always been easy but its not always been hard either ill admit that however all my life I’ve had bi polar schizophrenia I didn’t know about this till very recently and well my familys abandoned me they lied threw me out hell my moms a special ed teacher and well I never knew how hard this was going to be but I tried to commit suicide when I was 16 I rehabilitated and focused on positives it was ok till I was thrown out …

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4

Sick and they don’t know why.

  May 31st, 2015 by toriann

I have a 2yr old and 4yr old and I never thought I would be in this place. However I’ve been sick too long now. I’m tired of doctors visits and fighting. 5 days that’s when it started the desire to just disappear. After all one moment of pain for my children can save them from a lifetime of watching their mother die. My husband building more debt and being my babysitter. All I’m becoming now is a pathetic meat sack anyway. So what’s the point. They will blame it on the tumurs in my head and my family will be free from me. There …

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6

alone .

  May 30th, 2015 by unexplainedfeelings189

Yeah soo this is my second post .. I’m thankful for the people on here cause you guys are so nice and actually care and understand each other..

I hope that we can get to know each other and get through these times together(: well here’s some more about my dysfunctional life..: Everyone ! I SWEAR EVERYONE !

Leaves.. they just do.. they pretend that your their best friend and blah blah blah but they just play around with your feelings.. i have been through 7 friends who just leave..

and it really kills  me inside .. i just try

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4

Broken hearted prayer

  May 30th, 2015 by broken123

Dear God,
I know everyone has hard times in their life. I know people all go through different times, extents, and ways of bad. But I’m wondering why mine seems to be the worst case scenario on all accounts. I’m wondering why I can remember more bad times than good. I know there will be bad times. But there has to be good times too. I’m wondering why you took my mom away. Things seem just have gotten a different type of bad now that she’s gone. My step dad is now drinking himself to death and picking up all my moms old habits. Why did …

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2

Friendships never last.

  May 28th, 2015 by Terrible

When push came to shove, and I found that most of my friends left me. It seemed like they had left me to die.

I will never forgive some of them for leaving me when I needed someone. I felt so alone already, and when they left, I fell into a deeper depression than I was already in.

I guess I’m writing this to tell the truth. Most friendships don’t last. I was friends with someone for 11 years, and as soon as high school came around, everything changed for good. We drifted apart, as people do, and became different people.

We don’t talk anymore. There are still …

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3

i guess i’m just really f*cked up

  May 27th, 2015 by Everly_182

basically for over 3 years now i wake up with the same question in my head, what happened?/when did i start to feel this way?/what the hell caused this?! for 3 years now, I still have no clue. Why am i so sad? why am i even depressed? why is it every time I’m hanging out with my family or my friends i feel alone and empty? I’ve literally lost myself. I’m not the same anymore. I don’t find excitement or happiness in the things that i used to, i don’t want to hang out with any one anymore, all I wanna do is be left …

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1

Rabbit Hole

  May 24th, 2015 by kittiekat

I’m not a selfish person. I’ve been told suicide is selfish. People will miss you, greive, feel guilt, brcw depressed themselves. Your parents. Siblings. Friends. Grandparents. Extended family. They’ll hurt. Some, forever. My parents, especially my mother, will be forever grieving.

My life is good. Good job, family, friends, lifestyle, living conditions, amentities… There is not much i need that I don’t have. Sure I’m single, but I’m seeing someone, kind of, and he’s great. Other guys ask me out, I have to turn them down.

But still I can’t shake this.

I feel like I’m spiralling down a rabbit hole.

I don’t want to get up in the …

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5

Hello?

  May 24th, 2015 by Arabella

As i’m sitting here, home alone, typing this, i’m feeling slightly hopeful for this website. I don’t know how many people are active here. I don’t even know if I really care. All I know is that I need a place to vent when I need to, and this place caught my eye. I would like to begin by just venting about my setting. I’m sitting here at a kitchen dining room table that’s littered with used kleenex-  15 of them, my OCD made me count-, a red face, and a wadded up suicide note. Kidding about the last thing. I have a need to …

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2

…?

  May 23rd, 2015 by RinisSkywalking

I thought I was happy.

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2

It’s been a while.

  May 20th, 2015 by lostsoulblanklife

Hello everybody.

In my other posts, I do not think I made myself as clear as I wanted to. To me it’s a miracle I’m still here. Still breathing. Still fighting. A couple of weeks ago, I lost my best friend. She said I was too sad for her well-being. How selfish can one be? How inconsiderate?

I’m not surprised I feel like this. I feel like I’m at the breaking point. I feel hopeless not only about my social life but also because of my skin condition. I haven’t mentioned this in the other posts. I have acne. Acne that I can cover up with makeup, …

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5

  May 19th, 2015 by breezywillow

When i was six i was molested by my cousin went i was seven all my cousins and brothers where involved then i was raped at 15 on my birthday while growing up with an abusive family i met a boy i fell for him was faithful while he wasnt and he turned to beating me. I have no family no friends and am about to loose my home because some jerk photo shopped a picture a nudy one and posted it all over fb… i no longer want to try fight or anything… i just wanna die im alone and i was always told …

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