Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

Targeted with mind control technologies

by Drewski 5/6/2020

written by Drewski

Apparently I have been placed in a suicide program of some sort.

It began years ago but kind of ebbed and flowed over time but came to a dramatic and sudden head more recently, where acoustic audio and psychological torture weapons are being used on me, the same kind you hear about the military using on foreign soil.

I’ve realized I don’t have much power in the situation and the ‘perpetrators’ even offer an ‘assist’ in the suicide. Meaning, they are able to pull the trigger for you, remotely. They have demonstrated this for me. I guess that helps with some of the remaining troubles I would […]

5/6/2020 1 comment

I don’t have any title for this.

by 21andfuckedup 4/30/2020

written by 21andfuckedup

Nothing fucking works… I told my mom about my depression and what I am going through… And long story short… (I am not telling the whole lecture that she gave cause this one sentence is enough to sum it all up)… She said,” A thing like depression does not exist. It’s just thoughts and in order to get rid of them, you just have to divert your mind into something else.” Now that I’ve told her, and received her “extraordinary” response, I feel way worse than before, cause now the ray of light named “help from parents” has died. And hell, I even mentioned, like […]

4/30/2020 2 comments

Ugly truth discovery

by Looser_4ever 4/27/2020

written by Looser_4ever

Amidst this lockdown, I found that I have been able to make only a few friends in my 22yrs on this planet and no-one close enough to speak my heart to. I have no idea how to make friends, and above all that I’m an introvert program to be quite and alone.

4/27/2020 1 comment

Death is just eh

by SuburbFag 4/26/2020

written by SuburbFag

Most people who die are emotional about it. I’m not. I give zero fucks. I’m not confused, I don’t need therapy to help me “figure it out” because I already fucking know. It aint rocket science, shit is simple.

I hate the fucking Suburbs, first off. I was not supposed to be born in this hellhole where fuck all happens. I belonged in the fucking city actually growing myself. But instead I just got the same houses over and over and over and the only time I’d see the real world was for a night on the town. Everyone here is the same. Nobody talks like […]

4/26/2020 6 comments

I don’t get it

by 21andfuckedup 4/24/2020

written by 21andfuckedup

I don’t get it, why do I keep screwing up everything and everyone. I pissed off the last person who (maybe) gave a shit about me. I’ve known her since a long time. We remained close friends for most of that time. A couple months ago she asked me why can’t I be normal just like everyone else. Idk but this question made me think that she was just like everyone with whom I’ve ever shared my problems with or put my faith in. So I did what I do best… I pushed her away thinking that she was no longer able to deal with […]

4/24/2020 6 comments

Broken

by pegris 4/13/2020

written by pegris

I know I’m not the only one with problems. I know I have it good, comparatively. I know that I should be perfectly okay. But I’m not. I know, logically, that I should feel something, but I do not. I can only say I’m sorry for my pain, or rather, lack thereof. They say they love me, I think that is stupid. I’m not good enough for anyone. I know that this should hurt, should make me sad, but it’s like I’m a black hole, nothing there, the epitome of absence. I cant fix it without hurting them. But I hurt them by not fixing […]

4/13/2020 1 comment

I decided. And I chose him

by Tryingtoholdon123 4/12/2020

written by Tryingtoholdon123

If it wasn’t for my boyfriend idk where I would be at. I’m honestly so blessed to have him. as some people know that have read my rants and stuff I’ve been crying everyday for a couple of months and almost 2-5 times a day and just been hurting really bad and hating who I am and suicide was a heavy thought on my mind. But if it wasn’t for him I’m pretty sure I would be gone. He deals with my mental break downs and when I cry and when I get angry and when I’m numb. We do argue a lot but he […]

4/12/2020 0 comment

“Life is a gift! Live, laugh, love! You only live once (YOLO)! Thank God! Life is beautiful!” etc etc. Well, not really. Wake up and open your eyes to reality.

by niki 4/11/2020

written by niki

Only those people who are lucky & fortunate in life who can loudly say that life is a gift. The reality is, not everyone is fortunate. In fact, most people on this planet live in pain & sufferings just barely enough to survive. And then, even if people live in the first-world developed countries like in U.S or Europe for example, there are ironically still people who are depressed, and even suicidal/commit suicide. If life is a gift, like most people nowadays keep saying, then why all those reality exist? The only answer I can think of is: it is human’s nature perhaps for (most) […]

4/11/2020 5 comments

I don’t know what to do please help I need advice

by Tryingtoholdon123 4/4/2020

written by Tryingtoholdon123

Well I used this website before and honestly it’s a really helpful and supporting place and I’ve never experienced any type of hate being here so I decided to use it again and I thank the people on this website for being so nice to me when sharing my feelings really means a lot and would gladly do the same . I don’t even know how to put all that I’m feeling into proper words. I’ve been going through a lot in my own head. I constantly put myself down and I’m always saying that I hate myself. And the worse part is everything I […]

4/4/2020 2 comments

it never ends does it?

by lostcase 4/2/2020

written by lostcase

is it sad, that i always find myself back here? whats sad anymore.. i feel numb, no feeling lasts more than 5 seconds. and i have gotten used to it. i bared with that empty feeling for so long, so hard. even my tries to die weren’t so genuine.. i am too tired to even die. if the world collapsed this very second i would just blink and probably feel nothing still, maybe a glimpse of relief but thats all. i just really wish i never existed. i didn’t want to exist i never asked for it, and i feel like im ungrateful because of […]

4/2/2020 4 comments

Life sucks and then you die

by niki 4/1/2020

written by niki

Some people are lucky; Some people are not.
The more you learn about this world and society, the more you will realize that Life is random (chances), and yes, Life is not fair. Reality is depressing.

Most people who still always keep saying that “if you work hard, you will be successful!” are naive, ignorant, and simple-minded typical “optimistic/positive/happy-go-lucky” people you always see everywhere. And even for those people who realized it and therefore said that what’s important is to “work smart”, it also usually often means to be sly, cunning, opportunistic bastards who are too often selfish, pricks, ruthless, cold, heartless, and only care about […]

4/1/2020 4 comments

It feels like living in North Korea.

by Catjj 3/30/2020

written by Catjj

I’m sorry if there is any North Koreans are reading this, but I think this is the best way to describe my life. 3 years ago, me and my family moved to New Zealand and since then I was severely abused. My parents won’t let me out of the house, and the only 2 places I could go is home and school. I have limited internet access so I’m writing this very quickly (before my parents found out). It got worse last September, when my parents slapped me in the face 4 times in a row because they forced me to do a LOT of […]

3/30/2020 2 comments

Big Surprise

by Been Here Too Long 3/28/2020

written by Been Here Too Long

I think I’m going to book it out of this place after I finish classes for the year. I’ve become an irreversible failure, and there’s no way to fix it this time. Maybe I’ll train-hop out of here. Once I’m gone, there’s nothing keeping me from following through. I’m way too depressed to function anyway. My meds, that I pay way too much money for, aren’t working. Trying to get help doesn’t work for me. My mind’s just finally calm enough for me to do it, not out of a sudden and temporary spike of emotion, but through calm reasoning. I don’t want to be […]

3/28/2020 0 comment

i’m back and worse than before

by robin1244 3/26/2020

written by robin1244

Hi guys,

Its been nearly two years since my last post and I’m in the process of therapy but its not helping me out the way I expected. Until 7 months ago I was physically and mentally abused for over 11 years and it has left it’s scares. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD and depression and I’ve learned to accept it. But the reason for my return is that I was about to attempt to kill myself again, but I used a technique I learned in therapy to stop my attempt. I thought of the last few attempts and I started crying, something that I never […]

3/26/2020 2 comments

I think I’m ready

by sweetlife 3/24/2020

written by sweetlife

For the last months I’ve been feeling like I’m carrying a lot of things in my back, every time I try to solve any problem it ends up being bigger than before. I’m not sure I can get through this one more time. I’m tired, by myself, layed down just waiting for the time to come.

I just broke up with my gf, she were always there for me, but I just hurted her so much she can’t continued with me. And I understand, this is something that she learned about my and tried to help me, she was giving everything she had even when she […]

3/24/2020 1 comment

A Quite Rant

by lilsuicideangle007 3/24/2020

written by lilsuicideangle007

I’m fading away more and more everyday and I’m struggling. Trying to find the right words to explain it is complicated. I’m under quarantine and I hate it. But all I do is sleep and draw. I rarely eat anymore because when I leave my room I get targeted by my brother to be his throwing doll. As I hope that every breath will be my last I know that the angle of death won’t come and sent me free because it’s not my time.

But it’s kinda hard to not want that feeling of freedom. I’m alone. Alone with the thoughts that keep me captive […]

3/24/2020 1 comment

Staying in Bed

by lilsuicideangle007 3/21/2020

written by lilsuicideangle007

It’s now an everyday struggle to get out of bed knowing that nothing out of my room is worth getting up for. I want to lose weight so i begin to starve. I don’t get out of bed anyways and so thats being to help me. I hate the fact that I’m on 20 different pills for the same fucking thing. I want to be in the arms of someone who is willing to listen to me and not tell me that “I’ll be fine” because I won’t. I want to kill myself and I don’t want to get out of my bed not because […]

3/21/2020 3 comments

I’m terrified and I don’t know what to do

by Lutefisk 3/14/2020

written by Lutefisk

I was too optimistic in thinking I wouldn’t need this site again.

Spring break is finally starting and since my college is getting quarantined and moving online, I’ll get to work from home and break has been extended by a week. I would be looking forward to that, but there’s something I need to take care of first before I can even think about going home or the next quarter and it’s way worse than most of what I’ve had to deal with before.

I ended up with a failing grade for at least one of my three classes so far, and one of the others isn’t […]

3/14/2020 1 comment

unsure

by Addiictivetragedy 3/10/2020

written by Addiictivetragedy

i dunno what to name this, you don’t have to read. just something i wrote…

They tell you “you’re not alone”
but why am i staring at my dry ass phone?
sitting here wishing this house was a home.
room full of people but my mind takes over and i feel by myself.
they tell you “you should reach out for help”
but opening up I pour to much and drowned everyone that wants to care.
then you hear other people’s problems talking about how their life isn’t fair.
when your life’s been a battle since your very first breath.
every day in your head, thinking […]

3/10/2020 2 comments

At Least

by freeroma 3/10/2020

written by freeroma

At least he’s not suffering, in pain.
At least he doesn’t have to worry anymore.
At least he’s not here to pay witness to the next worst thing, wonder what else could fall apart. He doesn’t have to prepare or feel himself disintegrating. At least he doesn’t have to grieve his self.

At least he’s not here anymore, because he couldn’t heal and he didn’t deserve to rot alive, to feel every betrayal of his body.

At least he was. loved, cherished, looked after. Not alone even through dark nights of the soul. Forgiven when he fell.
At least he was.

For all that was, now he […]

3/10/2020 0 comment

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