Family & Friends Effects

I resent my parents so much, my dad is a bad person, hateful, judgemental, ignorant, arrogant, racist, narcissistic, a piece of work. I can’t wait for him to be dead. When that time comes I will feel like a huge burden have been lifted. I will no longer will have to pretend to care or listen to his idiocracies. One less person I have to pretend to care about. There are just not enough people in my family that I care for, and that is sad. I honestly dislike most of them, they were extremely mean to me and my sibling growing up, they were […]

I’ve recently noticed an increase of people attempting to talk to me and get to know me. Sometimes it’s a stranger walking my way while I’m headed to class. Sometimes it’s a person only known through my parents who suddenly gets the desire to talk to me. And even more jarring, I’ve recently made two friends in a short span of time, after not having anyone show interest in me several years prior. The whole thing became extremely jarring to me, and on more than one occasion I began to assume where their intentions lied. I hate to say it, but while I should feel […]

i wish i can just die. like just die and go off. everything is too much to handle not because things are that hard it’s because i’m a coward. i’m just lazy. i eat, i panic then i eat. i want to fucking starve to fucking death but no i’m too lazy for that. i want to cut but i’m too lazy to clean after so i just end up sleeping. just sleeping and sleeping until my life goes away and my parents scream at me for not doing anything useful or helpful. i’m even lazy that i don’t finish my purge. how dumb is […]