Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

Just a Little Background, I Guess

by Wixx 4/12/2018

written by Wixx

I’ve never posted here before, or ever really posted anything about my feelings publicly before. I never learned to properly express my emotions, either. I think that has led to me having a lot of things bottled up inside me. My childhood wasn’t great, so I have a lot of feelings built up about that. I ended up having to act like an adult before I got the chance to really have a childhood. I think that’s really taken a toll on me. I may end up posting here more. It can never hurt to try another way of coping.

4/12/2018 2 comments

Update

by Eccedentesiastsoul 4/3/2018

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

It’s been a while since I’ve last been on here. As a matter of fact, it has been a while since I’ve confronted myself about what is going on around me. For the most part, I blame it on school. I have loads of work to do and having to balance it while also dealing with my parent’s bullshit takes up all my time. I guess part of the reason I have not been putting anything on here is also because I fear someone finding out that this account belongs to me. Anyways, things have been all over the place. I have relapsed twice last […]

4/3/2018 0 comment

She Flew Away

by firefly11291998 4/3/2018

written by firefly11291998

The sickness came

We didn’t know

what it was, or

if it would stay or go.

The doctors said,

“She won’t stay long”

but we still hoped

that the were wrong.

Then she went

she flew away

God took her home

She’s there to stay.

When she went

I fell apart

it pierced me through

just like a dart.

Picked up back habits

I knew they were bad

had no other explanation

other than that , “I’m sad.”

Changed my life

the way I lived

most of it

was not what I wanted.

My dad told me,

“Think about you Mom.”

‘When she’s looking down at you

is she proud of who you’ve become?’

My friends told me,

“Keep your head up,

You’ll be fine.”

How could they know

What’s next in line.

*just a poem I wrote […]

4/3/2018 4 comments

They ask

by Rosesareblue 3/31/2018

written by Rosesareblue

They asked me.

“Why do you cut yourself?”

They asked me.

“Why are there scars in your body?”

They asked me.

“Are you crazy?”

They told me.

“Attention seeker at its finest.”

And i sighed. Breathed heavily and walked away.

Whats the good in telling them what my demons tell me what to do, it’s better to keep my insanity to myself.

Because it’s better keeping everything inside rather than telling the world who doesn’t know how to listen.

3/31/2018 1 comment

The only one you can trust is yourself

by Rosesareblue 3/31/2018

written by Rosesareblue

I’ve never believed this before.

So naive of me.

Naive enough to settle around with the idea that people are to be trusted and to be humbled the fact that they will always keep you sane.

Never believed in such saying until friends turn to enemies and laugh turns to frowns and until then when my heart has been shuttered by the awful truth that friends can be a sharp tool towards the breaking of your own sound mind.

And so when i felt my world crushing down, I came to the standing ground of believing that the only one you can trust is yourself.

3/31/2018 4 comments

sigh This day has gone off to a shitty start

by BrokenAngel8 3/30/2018

written by BrokenAngel8

Nothing like waking up to my sister screaming and crying on the phone. *sighs* so much for a nice day off of sleeping in.
The situation with my sister on the other hand is an entirely different tale. The count is 4 fights now in the past week. I feel like I’m starting to get through to her that I don’t like how she treats me. But yet nothing ever really changes. No matter how many times I stand up for myself it seems like the only one getting hurt is me. I actually had my mom even admit to me that she even couldn’t […]

3/30/2018 0 comment

Going Blind

by ShesAnAcid 3/22/2018

written by ShesAnAcid

This is my first time writing here and also writing about this so openly. I don’t know where do I start, but I do know when will all of this ends, very soon actually. I’m on the edge now which isn’t so very surprising considering there are about millions who are like me too, some, worse than me. It saddens me that I’m just one of those millions who suffer like this, that I’m only a part of some statistics scientists conduct every year. That I’ll never be someone, I’ll just be a part of something bigger. And soon, no one will remember that I […]

3/22/2018 8 comments

What’s the point?

by stormyskies 3/7/2018

written by stormyskies

When people ask me how old I am, I actually have to stop and think about it. I’m 24 now and sometimes that surprises me, I was honestly convinced at one point that I would get to die young. Well, it was more of a hope really, perhaps that way I wouldn’t have to deal with any of the bullshit responsibilities, obligations, and insecurities that I am facing now. I guess death seemed/seems like the easy way out.

My years in high school all seem like a blur now, but I do remember feeling tired all the time. I didn’t know it back then, […]

3/7/2018 2 comments

Hang in there

by Itscolourlife 3/6/2018

written by Itscolourlife

Because I smile when I can see your smile
Because Im breathing when I can see you live
Without you Im dead inside
The death is no different with what I feel without you

If I can switch my life with you
I would love too
Ill be happy to die first
Than seeing you off first

Or should I just go with you
The pain I hold
The scar I have
I cant stand with my own feet

Should I just go with you..?

3/6/2018 0 comment

Suicide year 2014

by Urm8451n 3/3/2018

written by Urm8451n

It is 2014, I’m young.
Have yet understood why my I can’t understand other’s feelings.
Mom is breaking down, she is alone, she is going through courts and she is under a lot of stress.
Knowing things can get out of hand at any moment, I don’t sleep.
Not even blinking.

My head is on the pillow, but my ears are searching all over the place. I clearly hear the neighbor’s dog, the child across the street, the moving cars, and how many there are.

The following days, mom starts acting weird, just like in those horror movies where the demon is taking over. She yells, and […]

3/3/2018 4 comments

I really want to die right now

by sugarcoated 3/2/2018

written by sugarcoated

i hate my life.

i’m in my last year of high school and all the pressure is on me.

i have to get into a good university to get a degree to get a job and make lots of money for my family.

my mum is mad because my younger brother is pretty “dumb”. Teachers say he’s work doing work or paying attention in class. So my mum is worried that he’s gonna fail school.

she was ranting as usual, but today was worse. She asked me “haven’t got homework?” I said “it’s the weekend” she just ignored me and continued saying “instead of watching that stupid show”.

i guess […]

3/2/2018 2 comments

Here I Go Again {push back the pain}

by lonely2k14 3/1/2018

written by lonely2k14

I wake up to aching sound of my phone buzzing beside me. I reach for it in pure emotional agony, immediately pressing snooze. As I try to stir out of my groggy state, my mind is blank, and can only think of my exhausted body. I tried to open my eyes but they felt as if they weighed a ton, I tried to lift my arm but it’d fallen limp at my side; given up, I let myself relax just for one more moment… I’m abruptly woken up by my phone buzzing once more. Here I go again… I go through the same, process of […]

3/1/2018 2 comments

Please tell me how can you hold your head above water?

by Urm8451n 2/26/2018

written by Urm8451n

Today I lived for few hours.
I went on a date with a sweet girl. I had it all going fine for me, we have had fun, she really enjoyed my company.

The problems started later…

When I got back home, I got back to my depressed mom. To the shattered dreamland of her needs and feelings. To the half fine home of ours. To the family of abused kids. She was abused when she were young, and later on her life, she wasn’t the perfect mom. She is mentally ill, and she many times, abused me and my brother verbally and with lots of mental manipulations.

She […]

2/26/2018 4 comments

WARNING: not coherent

by Lostsoul_20 2/26/2018

written by Lostsoul_20

I wonder how my shitty friends and rapist are doing being able to go to school and finish their degrees and accomplish their dreams right now? They don’t care the depression they put me through one bit. I bet they’re happy poor little depressed girl is not there to put a damp to their party. I bet others that don’t know of all the struggles my life has put me through laugh at how much of a failure I am. I bet all their futures look so bright while I sit here dim and dull wishing an everlasting night. Oh if I had known that […]

2/26/2018 3 comments

Back again

by ataria-coronaria 2/26/2018

written by ataria-coronaria

Having a another really bad night. Everything feels like it’s wrong in my world again. I’m so afraid of myself and can’t fully accept my reality. I honestly just want to feel genuinely loved. I think I have friends who love me but I don’t really feel anything from people regardless of that. My own self loathing is getting in the way of everything. I feel like my constant down personality is driving everyone away as well. Subconsciously I kind of want them gone at the same time as needing them. I fear that if people get too close they’ll discover the truth and desert me […]

2/26/2018 1 comment

Back to ground zero

by Urm8451n 2/22/2018

written by Urm8451n

I went back to my home town. The horror-ed house and the damned “friends”.

I feel like I have to run away. This semester break is short, so I don’t have to worry about being here for long. But….. to be fair? Those aren’t my friends. Those are kids who ditched their friend in great need. I have had flash backs since I got back to here.

I feel like I have to run, run far.

People talk about suicidal experience – which is good, but they forgot to tell you all about the “before” time. The time they stood on the edge. How it feels? it feels […]

2/22/2018 0 comment

Suicidal family member

by Urm8451n 2/20/2018

written by Urm8451n

This post is what SP means with family effect and suicide related. This isn’t a happy ending nor a crisis, but beware of triggers.

When I was a young boy, I remember my mother going up the stairs, half dead, she was barely walking, her new bf helped her. She was getting treated with chemotherapy and other cancer related drugs. She was dying, it was an intensive fight. She was alone, and my father divorced her. Her family was so abusive and ugly that they didn’t even help. I was about five and didn’t understand why my mom is falling to the ground. I saw her […]

2/20/2018 6 comments

new here, feeling lost, venting

by ataria-coronaria 2/20/2018

written by ataria-coronaria

Hi, “artaria” 21, gnc intersex/transgender and hating life

I’m almost 22 but I feel as if I am generations older from all of the messed up stuff that has happened in my life. Every year seems to have un-ending sadness and awful events. So many horrible things I couldn’t begin to list it all.

It is embarking on the anniversary of the last really big traumated thing to happen in my life last year. Months of intense emotional and physical abuse culminated to me finding myself in an even worse situation that I don’t really want to get into right now…

I still blame myself in a lot […]

2/20/2018 7 comments

Became a psychopath

by Urm8451n 2/18/2018

written by Urm8451n

I was pushed to my limits again.
This time is a combination. I had a dream in which I stabbed 4 guys over a fight, which I manipulated them to start.

When I was a young boy, my brother abused me physically. He blackmailed me to do him a lot of favors and to serve him. I wanted to kill him for few years back then. I really craved the idea.

Later when I became 16/14 my mom used to berserker on me with vocal violence. She said I was a waste of money and energy. She said she […]

2/18/2018 2 comments

Lost

by shelby 2/16/2018

written by shelby

this is my first time posting on here, or rather anywhere about my messed up self. I just realized today that I’m a compulsive liar. And I’m like a kleptomaniac or something.

i go to a boarding school, so tons of girls all living together. It’s fun, I have plenty of friends. But, since I’m as messed up as I am, I steal from them. And being the idiot I am, when they ask me, I say ‘what the hell thats messed up we definitely have a thief in the dorm’ because obviously, I have a problem.

Right there is one example of both of my problems. […]

2/16/2018 2 comments

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