Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

2

I don’t understand

  June 3rd, 2018 by ByeRhodey

I’ve tried asking for help. Yesterday I outright said, “I’m getting ready to jump off a bridge.”

There wasn’t a reaction. I was honestly considering doing it. I was wishing and on the ground screaming in my head.

“Why am I forced to live? Why can’t I just die. What’s the damn point? Let me die. Let me die!” I’ve fallen asleep like that and the moment I wake up I feel so much dread at the thought that I had to wake up. That I have to deal with another day and no one understands. Why does she not say anything useful when I tell her …

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1

Do I Want To Live?

  May 31st, 2018 by millionth

I made a promise to stop harming myself. I’ve broken that but continually renew it for some reason. I made a promise to not kill myself. Obviously I’ve kept that thus far. Does this mean I want to live?

For a very long time now, I’ve decided I don’t want to “get better.” To me CBT is bull and medication is simply mind control. I know the truth – that this game of life is so utterly moronic and useless. To try and hide that is just wrong to me. I realize they help others, and there’s nothing bad about that, it’s just important to me, …

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3

At least you tried.

  May 24th, 2018 by plebs

I have to act like I’m getting better so I don’t get sent back to therapy, but I feel worse than ever. Thank you for being there and trying to help but it’s not working. I’m not sure when I’ll decide to end it all but I would like to let you know that I appreciate everything you have done.

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2

I am a bad thing

  May 20th, 2018 by Triste Foi

I am a bad thing, I think I’m going crazy but I’m too afraid to talk about that to anyone. I am afraid I am going to slowly become something truly awful and dark. And I feel like part of my wanting to die is that I owe it to the world to not make them suffer if I do become something of a monster. You know how when someone gets bit by a zombie so they shoot themselves or something for the greater good of the rest of the survivors and so that they don’t become that? That’s how I feel. I have …

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3

Mama

  May 16th, 2018 by mranony

I know you’re dead for a year now.
I know the word death and what it means
But all this time, I’ve been unconsciously thinking
You’re somewhere far away. Just a country away.

But this night, I finally realized you’re dead.
Dead and never coming back.
It’s not a movie or a game.
No reviving spells,
No Phoenix tears.
Just my tears

And I know that will never bring you back.

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7

I’m not supposed to be happy.

  May 15th, 2018 by strawberrycrown

You know what, I seriously don’t think I’m supposed to be happy. Like I think my destiny and fate is just to be unhappy. I wish it wasn’t this way, but it is. Every time that I feel happy and can say to myself “life is going pretty great” (which is not often as it is) my life just suddenly says “oh, she’s happy, better change that”. Like literally things are finally going good like I can actually say I have friends and I’m happy with them and the way things are going but then now they’ve decided that they don’t like me as much …

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5

been hatin’ life since day 1

  May 12th, 2018 by hateanon

I hate my life. I’m a minor and that means I obviously have to live with my parents. I’m a girl and have 3 disgusting brothers. The only thing I have for myself is my brains which I got from my mother. She’s mean sometimes but she’s the only one I actually truly love in this nightmare of a household. My dad and I had a fight about 2-3 months ago and he hasn’t talked to me since. He’s a fucking stupid middle aged man and an ego the size of a fucking blue whale. I hate him so much, his standards for me are …

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0

The last one

  May 11th, 2018 by mo992

Why has it gotten to this point? I have waited so long but the last one is broken.

The last one has spoken words to me that verify my twisted thoughts.

My presence causes pain and suffering. It has caused this one even more than it has myself.

Why has it gotten to this point?

Is it my fault? I believe it is, but the voice within says it could be my doing and that of my existence as well.

I wish I could bring good news, I truly do, but I hold only sorrow.

Perhaps one day there will be good news.

I have not hoped for this to occur but …

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2

How Can You Even Say That?

  May 7th, 2018 by Koda

You are my SISTER. You should be understanding.

Instead, you tell me that nothing is wrong with me?

And I am forced to bring up a professional diagnosis and an attempted suicide to end this argument?

How can you say that?

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2

DEATH SOMETIMES WALKS ON PADDED FEET

  May 5th, 2018 by s.h45@yahoo.com

 

When death is so near, sometimes it walks on padded feet, strumming the ground like a guitarist, rhythmically – louder – softer, then with fingers on the wood, tap, tap… tap, tap. The sound is everywhere, no one can hear it but the poor fuck.   It builds and then suddenly subsides, then as each pebble of doubt and every dark word is cast into the waters of his mind, the song builds again on each ripple.   Inside his head each wave combines with the last, getting larger and larger. With the sound of the pebbles dropping into the water, cast by each tap, tap… tap, …

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3

This would probably my last message…. Goodbye

  May 3rd, 2018 by playtuosodark16

I have no idea how to start or where to start. This letter suppose to give you answer/s why I did that. I hope it would. As you are reading this, I hope you can feel my presence by your side. And as you proceed, I can tell that you’re already holding my hand, I hope you won’t let go because I will lead you to this journey of mine. From how it all started and how it ended. It is not easy, it is

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6

Reaching out

  May 2nd, 2018 by kand

does anyone else feel like they have reached out but received zero support? I’ve tried my best friend, and doctor yet neither seemed to take it seriously.

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2

when my kitten

  April 30th, 2018 by iamdarling

hm. i love when my kitten lays and cuddles with me. i love my kitten and i love cuddles with him.

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5

I almost killed myself

  April 29th, 2018 by Clownfeet

Last Friday I nearly killed myself. I have been spiralling worse and worse over the last couple of years. 2 years ago my best friend killed himself, and it has amplified and set my pre-existing depressive feelings out of control. I have been cracking down the last couple of weeks, drinking heavily and doing drugs. On Friday I got really drunk and split off from my friends. A few hours later, at around 3a.m I walked toward the local river. I stood on a the bridge over the slight drop into the water, just looking at first. It was very pretty. Then I started thinking …

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3

Hidden One

  April 29th, 2018 by mo992

I smile often when I’m in public. A strong clear smile.

I laugh loudly as well. So loud you could hear from a hundred miles.

With this I attempt to conceal. To present a false sense to the ones I love.

The people who’s opinions I do wish to preserve.

I try to conceal, not only for me, but also for them.

I do not want to cause them much suffering by knowing me.

I do not want my illness to spread like a plague to them and the heavens.

So I conceal, I hide, I smile, I laugh, I dance, I distract, I please, I HIDE.

Am I the only hidden one?

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2

How do I do this without hurting people?

  April 26th, 2018 by Heh

I can’t stand the thought of my mother, or family walking through my bedroom door and seeing me there lifeless with blood pouring from my body. I know there’s other ways… but no matter what they’ll find out… that it was me who did it. I don’t want my mother to ask the what if’s. She will always blame herself. Other lives and feelings are worth more than mine… so if I have to carry on wanting to kill myself every second just so everyone else is happy, I will. But it’s so, so hard to do and I can’t fucking do this alone anymore. …

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4

Why do sad people make me feel sad?

  April 23rd, 2018 by strawberrycrown

When my friends are sad or when I people I admire or look up to are sad or cutting, it makes me want to cut like as if its a trend when it shouldn’t be? I’m a sheep. A follower. If my friends jump off a bridge I would too. So I guess when other people tell me they’re cutting it makes me want to cut or feel sad about my life or feel like it should be bad. Even in movies or tv shows if people have shit lives and cut themselves or commit suicide, it makes me feel like my life is shit …

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3

New girl

  April 18th, 2018 by Unsheard

i found a new girl, we have been talking for a bit but i think i’m getting to deep to quick. I flirt with her even without trying to and i can’t stop myself. I think i’m breaking her because i’ve started cutting again. I need to break it off but i dont know how. Someone please help me.

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3

To Balrog Witcher (Kik account)

  April 16th, 2018 by darkwillow

Hey there, we used to talk on Kik, and I’m worried about you because you haven’t been on in a long time.. if you’re okay, could you let me know? I’m worried and I miss talking to you

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5

so goddamn tired and can’t sleep it away

  April 15th, 2018 by Lutefisk

all i do now is bs my homework for grueling AP classes i barely care about or fall behind and get chewed out by my parents who i hate to disappoint, but i’m a disappointment anyway i guess lmao what else is new right

my family and friends might love me but i’m starting not to care anymore because i just hate myself so much and become so jealous of their flourishing lives that i’m pretty sure if i were to show how i really feel to other people i’d truly be the burden i believe myself to be deep down

i’m just surviving day by day …

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