General

Hi. Kinda letting out my frustration at my office’s meeting yesterday. But I feel regret after letting out. Maybe I shouldn’t be honest. Is this feeling normal? I keep overthinking about this. I keep feeling awkward with everyone. Help me please.

I’m really struggling to focus on anything. I’m rereading emails five times just trying to catch what they are about. Ask me of I saw something, I could be looking right at it and miss it. Half the time I have no idea what a conversation is even about. Something is wrong and I can’t seem to get a grip on myself. I’m just floating through my life on autopilot and anything that requires my presence is really a struggle for some reason.

Hello everyone. I’m new here. I discovered this website when i tried to google suicide methods. Nice to meet you all

I can’t do this anymore. I’m so tired. I’m tired of dealing with life. I fucking hate this. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I just want to go to sleep.

I’m living for a delusion. A fantasy. And I know that. It’s never going to work out. In the end, all I’ll be left with is my sad lonely little reality. But I can’t stop myself. I’m not in control. I’m so enthralled by the fantasy that I’ll keep sitting through the pain day after day, just for a chance to pretend.

It’s so pathetic. I’m just another dumb meat robot, lumbering on in the vain pursuit of procreation. But cursed with the awareness that it’s hopeless, and all that’s left is pain.

Reason is the slave of the passions. It doesn’t matter that suicide is the […]

Today is your birthday. I know it has been very long since we last spoke but I at least want to say this year happy birthday Kimberly. I can’t reach out to you anymore through letters and I know I probably shouldn’t but just this year it is important for me that I get to say this though here at the very least.

You wrote in the very last letter you sent me that you hope that goodbye was not the last goodbye. That hopefully one day the universe could bring us back together again. I held onto that idea, even though I told you it […]

does anyone else feel like whenever they go to all of these different doctors you’re just listening to people speak and literally nothing changes after you leave. Am I not listening hard enough? I try to actually listen the entire time. Am I just not listening hard enough or something?

So, as things seem to happen, we had a little collision between my private health crisis and the support group. The major issue/technique is called dissassociating. It’s the point you pull your brain back and try not to return to the land of the conscious. You can even do it while awake, and every now and then a therapist will tell you that it’s “meditation” and “good for you.”

I’ll grant, I’m a fan. When I first wake it is incorporeal, aware that my body has decided to be ready to be inhabited again. Then I fight that urge. Stay abstract, my hands and body feeling […]

(this is just a ramble )

Ever since I was little, I felt like was not wanted.
The more I think of anything , the less I can do. I didn’t ask to be born, and with time I have left, I will find strength to die by my own hand. I like to hope so at least.

I was given many things other people  would like to have, I didn’t have too bad life, but it sucks too much.

Does it suck for everyone? Do I get the right to complain? Who do I even ask that? Not even the people who suffer the most can know, […]

I’m tired… I could honestly just leave it at that and it would be correct, but I need to vent.

I’ve come so far in the last few years, done things I never thought possible and grown and loved and lost and loved again, unhealthy healthy, working and jobless, overall progress. And yet, I’m still empty. I still have intrusive suicidal thoughts on a daily basis. I don’t want to hurt anyone but damn does it seem nice to just give in and stop feeling.

I’ve always been more emotional than my peers, which as a man hasnt helped me much. The older I get the […]

I am at the point where I do not want to fail anymore. For every one item I get right, there are at least 12 I am getting wrong and doing damage to someone, somewhere.

It is not necessarily difficult to “get up”, “keep trying”, since “you are such a good (parent, sibling, co-worker, friend, student, insert whatever here)”. It is difficult hearing people actually believe that it is going to get better. For some, sure it does get better. For me, not so much. I have hope without faith.

It gets better only when I become available to assist with whatever they need. I hear them, […]

scared of the influence i have over others, and i wish i didn’t have any sort of power