General

I’ve been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they’re real
I’ve been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures
Are all I can feel

Raise your hand if you have cuts on your limbs..

Raise your hand if you starve yourself..

Raise you hand if you feel unwanted, worthless..

Raise your hand if you have attempted suicide..

Raise your hand if you cry to sleep..

Raise your hand if your afraid..

Raise your hand if you’re depressed..

Raise yoir hand if your lonely..

Is your hands up? Because mine is..

There’s no way I’m gonna survive a 33 metre fall, right? I don’t want to survive. Please tell me that I won’t survive.

It should be a no brainer

Go court with a lawyer deal with it.

I cant. I cant see that court room anymore. I cant see any more police. All stupid charges, not even mine. Yes i was the idiot out with these people that ended up getting done for their shit . So i take that. But no i dont want any of it. I cant. Im so mortified. How could i end up in trouble with the law?

Its not even that anymore. Its worse. My depression has eaten me. I cant move. I cant think. I dont have a life.

So if i dont have a […]

Do you ever get the feeling that this life isnt yours?

that life is so unfair?

that you have no control?

that everyone around you is living, feeling lucky and your just breathing , alone, watching, and waiting.. FOR WHAT??

I have yet to become comfortable with this “Mistake” I call my life. Most days I don’t even feel anything and have become so comfortably numb. Life has become a burden to me that brings me no Joy in any way. It’s not that the intensity of my inner grief has decreased in any way, I have just become accustomed to the pain and so I eventually gained the ability to mask it so well that I even fool myself sometimes.There are moments in time and days in this life of mine that have become unbearable and I can’t subdue my thoughts and emotions inside. […]

A lot of our stories here are so very much the same. It’s too bad we can’t do much to help each other.

I started a relationship two days ago, I’ve been single for one year and 8 months and in this time I went into the worst time of my depression, I was hospitalized in a me talk ward for 4 months because of suicide attempt and I had an extreme weight gain. I literally look like the worst version of myself at this moment. I have the worst self esteem ever and my insecurities are demons that literally don’t let me live a normal life. I still want to kill myself everyday, but I’m not planning to do it anytime soon. The point is that despite […]

there’s too much going on at the same time. u cant focus on one thing. so you try to handle multiple things at the same time but you and i both know, that that doesn’t end up well. cuz u find urself in a mess, a mess that just keeps on increasing. the more you try to run, the messier it becomes. and when you realize that instead of running, you shouldve tried to clean the mess, it’s too late. the clock has stopped ticking. your heart has stop pounding.
you tried to find things that make you laugh, things that distract you from your shitty […]

whos gonna love me when the curtains close?

It’s hard to accept this despair. It’s not an intense kind of suffering. Not like grief. I’m not in agony. I’m not tearing my hair out. I’m just…chronically disappointed? With reality, and with myself. It’s not an existence I think is worthwhile. But it’s not truly awful, compared to some states. I’m pretty much fine – it’s just that a lot of the time I’d rather it was all over. I don’t want this experience anymore – I don’t want this life. I want to hope, and feel invested again. I want to feel involved in life. And I don’t think I can now.

Presumably most […]

I feel like I want to explode like a bomb, it would make me happy
I can’t hold on anymore

When i fail to do something
When my fam keep talking bad about me
When my fam talking laughing without me
When someone i love dont love me back
When i want to eat but i keep thinking about my weight
When i cant sleep at night
When someone tell me that its just normal stress
When my fam tell me a method to die
When someone talk like they know about me so well
When they say do this and this but they dont help me
When they dont know what i really feel but keep judging me
When he try but i know […]

I think about setting myself on fire.

I spend my day wearing a mask. Not the cloth mask I am required to wear in each place of business I visit, but the kind that everyone sees and reacts to. The kind the people look at and don’t think much of. The kind that, if you had to comment on, you’d say “Ah he seems happy. He probably has his head on his shoulders.” That mask.

When I wear this mask, I can comfortably go into public and say I am one of them. Those people that got their head on their shoulders. Those people that have a great life […]

It’s kinda like I don’t wanna live but I don’t know if I really wanna die

It’s tiring until it’s not.