For general topics related to the site.
I hope this new virus to fucking ravage the world. 1 billion deaths would be great.
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General
How many people here draw SSI or SSDI from their mental ilness or other medical conditions. I’m trying to file for SSI claiming fibromyalgia and Clinical Depression. I already live in low income housing. And it is hard for me to work due to my depression, anxiety and fibro. I already know i’m a waste of life. I just want to hide away from this evil cruel world. But if did you file or claim SSI. Can i know your claims or how long it taken you to get it. Please tell me yout story.
Maybe this will be my second/last attempt..
I will kill myself on my birthday
If I dont go back here than..
Goodbye and Thank you
To someone that I dont know that read and comment on my post
I will leave my username and pass behind
So my fam and friends can read this suicide diary
Everything that happened to me
Everything I regret and cherish
Again I find myself coming back to read how others are feeling and share my own feelings. My depression has been with me at least 45 of my 58 years. Possibly even longer. I was twelve when this collection dark, unhappy, sad, and angry feeling became a daily part of my life. Since then every day of my life I have faced these feelings. On good days I could easily bat them into a compartment and be fine. Other days I had to fight them. On the bad days they crippled me. A lot has gone […]
I have a problem. I think I refuse to learn. I think I keep doing it and keep getting disappointed and then keep doing it and then keep getting disapointed. I refuse to stop. I don’t know why. I should know better now. I don’t want to blame them. I know it’s hard. I keep calling but I know I shouldn’t. It’s pretty pathetic. Why sm I even here. No one is listening. It’s a void where nothing exists. Yet I keep coming back here. Because I never learn. […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Hey,
It’s been a while since I’ve been on this website and I guess that’s a good thing. To be honest I remembered that I had posts on this site while procrastinating my math hw and decided to come back on and read all of them . It was difficult, I’m not gonna lie. Some of the things I still agree with, but I also realized that I really was an angsty preteen who couldn’t handle her hormones.
So if you’re ready to sit down and listen to a young girl’s soul-searching journey then please keep on reading.
In my past posts I always talked about my mom […]
The actual act of suicide for me is not the direct solution of what I want. It is however a means to what I want, which is simply to disappear from everything. Seems simple enough yet my thoughts, desires, and fears complicate it. I do not want anything painful, scary, or uncertain. I simply want to go to sleep. Why is that considered wrong? I come back to a line from Shakespeare “To sleep perchance a dream” and I think about what it was like when I had surgery a couple of years ago. […]
Good evening,
I’m kinda obsessed by suicide now, I just think of it all the time. Anyway even though I really wish to kill myself, just the fact that I have a survival instinct makes me too damned scared to jump out the windows or go on the railway, even if I see the train coming and that the next one is in 2 hours. I wish this crappy country could legalize guns. I would get one and shoot myself instantly, I mean, its just a little move of your finger and then its done. It sounds waayyyyy less scary than seeing the train come and […]
how many times will it take for me to completely burn out? my head is going black every 5 seconds, and it’s so easy to just freeze in one spot for minutes without realizing. i’m trying to distract myself, but i have to do the work. the words on paper seem to be becoming thinner, the the white of the document peaks through from the letters, almost hurting my eyes. i can read the words but it take minutes for me to interoperate what i’ve been reading, i can’t put a sentence together
i’m so tired, i’d die to take a nap right now, but i […]
I’ve had a really good couple of weeks making music and thought I was getting better, then all of a sudden the emptiness is back and the incessant feeling of discomfort in my own skin, it’s hard sometimes, it’s really hit me and I’m on the verge of being suicidal again (maybe I am)..it sucks, it really does, thanks for reading. Was I deluding myself that I’m actually getting better, what’s real and not real? I don’t know.
im done with therapy. im done with medication. there is no hope for me and that i am willing to accept that, although its not like i have much of a choice but to accept it.
Is it normal to feel this way? i’m not sure. i try to not hurt the people around me but somehow i do and i’m so sorry for that. things happen to everyone but why does it hurt so badly. i’m losing friends that i really loved and i don’t know why. i wish i knew. one day i’ll make it up to them. this isn’t goodbye forever but just for now. i’ll be back.
hi everyone! it’s been so long! things have changed…for a while, only for a while. I’ve never thought of this moment. i just want someone to talk to. if only there’s someone i could tell how i feel right now. they say I’m a strong woman. that i will never lose a fight. because I’m a competitive type of person. but the truth is…i am weak…I’ve given every bit of energy i have…and I’m tired.
little by little, I’m forgetting the reasons why i should be living. i felt alone, in this dark hole.
– RAF
I think I just want to go in a few months, my life is so unfulfilling and boring. I don’t care to go on much longer. I’m sick of pretending to be happy and ok. I have no hobbies or interests really. My ex will be fine. He’s not going to be lonely. He’s got a new group online where he can talk to people from the game server. He doesn’t need me. If I decide to end it I’ll have to make sure he doesn’t find out. But sadly he probably will because if he contacts me and doesn’t hear back from me I […]
Have u ever felt like u r not alive?!
That’s me everyday.
Can’t ask anything except that question.
My simple answer is…. Yes.
Can i just live happy??!
Can i just be happy again?!!
Can i just have fun??!!
Can i just beat my social anxiety?!!
Can i just beat my severe depression?!!
My simple answer is….. No.
i might have hypersomnia
How… how am I supposed to continue? How am I supposed to continue when all of the sources of life that I had have all dried out? Point? What point? We live and then return to the grave. I’ve given a soul when no one else has rather than going along with it like everyone else, and now I see there was no point to a single thing we did. It was just a grade. A class. A diploma. A job. And now? Now it is a grave. I’m six feet under, but apparently I’m buried in glass because no one notices. Not a single […]
And right now im in the perfect position to just watch myself fall……..i wonder if ill jump this time.
(To future me when i read my old posts) im currently in the position to convince my husband to leave me because of the “abuse” and my friend seems to barely notice me anymore. “I swear i still care” then stop playing your fucking video game and prove it.
A bit of background on the video game thing. All of my exs ignored me. They were either ignoring me to talk to their friend or play video games and HE knows this. In fact when i was with […]