General

Why…WHY???? WHYYY?????????????????????????????????????????

…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsofblEK3A

I have damage to my frontal lobe which doesn’t paralyze me, but it effects the way I think, there is no cure for brain damage so I am stuck this way forever. Why the fuck does this happen to me, my life was absolutely perfect, I had everything going for me and my life was going to be amazing, I was going to be really successful and I was the most optimistic person in the world. Now I’m a fucking failure and I have absolutely no chance of ever achieving anything. I suppose I should count myself lucky that I got to have 16 years […]

4 years ago I had (in my mind the perfect life). A beautiful wife of 18 years. both had great careers. 250,000 home in the country. boats, 4 wheelers, acreage, well you get the picture. I worshiped my wife and children from a previous marriage and had 2 grandson’s, one of which we were raising. My wife was my best friend (so she said daily). It all unraveled in a matter of months when I found out she was having an affair with my daughter’s drug dealing boyfriend. We never did drugs, led a healthy lifestyle, spent a lot of time together. My own daughter […]

Cheek resting against the bitter metal of the safe, taking in the scent of the mixed smokes, i begin to lean back. Taking comfort from the cool walls embracing me with their heavy darkness, i slide my lids down. The feel of the soft stuffed Pikachu beside me as my last companion, reminds me of the pain inflicted that evening. I take a peak through the slits of the closet door, the soft light filtering through onto my neck and shoulders. Nothing. The silence adds to the electric shock of anticipation. Taking a final glance at the room, i see belongings thrown around, and two […]

If you hit the temple hard enough you go into a coma and if you don’t receive treatment you’ll die relatively quickly. Anybody know any cases of this method and or any problems associated with it. I imagine the biggest problem is probably being able to hit your own head hard enough?

Holy S*** everything is dieing hopes dreams people theres so much pain in this world it drowns out the good. The pain of a lost relationship or failed project brings me down about 6 feet under one day I will be gone might as well make it soon

I’m new to this sort sort of thing…

For the past year my desire to die has been at its strongest and I always thought that jumping of a bridge would be the best way out but after 3 trips to the bridge I’ve realised that I can’t go out that way so at the minute I want to try overdosing on tranquillizers/ sleeping pills/ alcohol/ what ever I can get my hands on to top up the concoction. I wont those my nerve on this one, I just need to stay in this frame of mind and everything will be ok soon enough.

I given life a chance […]

can someone give me a reason to live? my problems are getting heavier so i think i want to kill myself..but maybe if theres one valid reason to stil be alive..i will.

My heart wants to unite

But never can

In this dirty world because

any kindness is abused

by the human mind

If only alone for an hour

I am absent from your words

the emptiness begins to crush me

in a way so painful – indescribable

So Why not unite

as a family – in death

I’ve been out before…

The human existence separates us all

And I’ve given up on it

I don’t understand

what we’re waiting for…

There’s nothing left

for me in this world – for you?

I need to go home

There is no substitute…

I am counting the days

I am waiting…

And I’m going crazy

There can not be

Not another year

It is simply impossible

My longing, my yearning

Makes my every activity here

Seem completly […]

On Moday I posted that I planned to end my life on Friday; I am glad to say that today I changed my mind. Various things contributed to that. Firstly I got an email from my soon-to-be-ex-husband, rejecting all my reasonable suggestion for an amicable and quick resolution of our property settlement. Rejecting them for no other reason than to maximise the hurt he can inflict on me, drag the fight out into all eternity, probably in the hope that he will wear me down. I then realised that I cannot leave him to raise my children, he will ruin them. If I die now, […]

It’s nice to hear I’m not the only one that feals the way I do. I don’t feel like I belong in some other world i just don’t feel like I belong in this one. even as a child i didn’t fit in. I just feel like I don’t understand people. I don’t know who I am and despite of my best efforts I feel like I never will. I just feel like maybe there is something wrong with the way my brain processess info. I’m very intelligent I just seem to have very little in the way of social skills or understanding. Like many […]

So far it seems to be the only thing I can think to say to him sometimes. He’s the nicest guy I know. That’s why I love him. He may be stance sometimes but that’s why I like him, he’s different and tries to help. He knows next to nothing why I cut or why I’m so sad. But he still shows he cares enough for it to really hurt when he starts to talk about the girl he’s in live with. I’m jelous of her, uet Ive never met her. How she could stand to dump him and make him sad I can’t understand. […]

Everyone has terrible memories.  I’m sure most of the people who are here have terrible, heart wrenching memories that they wish they could just forget about.

I too have those memories.  For some reason, they penetrate my heart and get underneath my skin that I have to stop what I am doing and concentrate on breathing or I might pass out. 

What is even worse is knowing I caused these terrible memories.  I do not know how to love myself anymore.  It is so hard loving yourself when you pushed away the person you love most in life.

How can I enjoy life when I can’t stand my […]

ive thought about it alot.I feel like I should go.my so called best friend doesn’t even want me here anymore.I don’t have any other choice then.I have to die.right? I have no other option….right? This is the only thing I can do to fix it all?

I don’t have a reason to live now.. but I have millions of reasons to die. I thought of suicide but I’m afraid to do it. I always ask myself, why do I need to have this kind of life.. I only want a simple and normal life..but my life is really tough, and it sucks.
When I was a kid my parents separated.
My sister doesn’t like me, she hates me for no reason.
I live with my grand ma because my mom need to work abroad, and its really sad.
I don’t have a best friend, ever since.
I don’t even have a single friend here.
I hate myself..i […]

Crying is a gift that I’ll gladly use whenever i can. You people are like my brothers and sisters – family of the broken, bearing in common the same death wish. And now time is closing like a brick wall in front of me.

And I don’t want to feel better or life to improve. I want to cry with you and I want to die with you. Let us walk this road together til the end of the tunnel and there’s only one way out and you know it…Take this and cut me so you can prove to me that we are sharing the same […]

stuck in the house again. hah, what a joy. would try to get Angus out, but he didn’t reply the last (and first) time I texted him so. Zoe’s not allowed, Emma’s not allowed, Angela’s ill, Rachael’s grounded because she got excluded.

Fuck sake, I really don’t want to be alone again today. oh, and Jake and Bambi aren’t on MSN anymore :3 yay. probably gonna have another slip up. oh well.

Wondering…Wondering; Should I move on, this has just. Urgh, it’s been ages, A year. And still I’m just as much here as I was then. I get the feeling that if I stop waiting, I can finally move forward, with everything. But will I really be as happy as I would have been if I waited. I just want to know, do you really care? or is it just me wanting you to care.