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I really need someone right now
I really want to end my life
I really need someone
Help me
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General
i do not even want to return. all i want is about aurora aksnes or a real healing.
the poems, the songs of love, I want to listen to them with her, I am insane, I lose all I got from lining to self-control, I am fed up, I do not want any food or drink although I need and will. all saints day feels nothing different from any other day, I think I have passed all the bloom a life can give. I want to get a weapon, I want to join the forces but actually all I want, what she hates, is being hugged […]
keep goin’ down the same road
Blackin’ out in the same clothes
I?wish?that I could?have some control
But this feeling’s all?that I know
I’m just livin’ in the moment
Doing things that I shouldn’t
I’ve been in the dark all alone
Cause this feeling’s all that I know
-PS
and i went down, and i reached down, and i looked down.
Imagination of a World I’ve never known,
adultery with the women I love,
separation and reunion in a row,
our business and the career for any alone.
Morning is half way there when my thoughts go,
reflecting my emotions and to know where I belong,
that I need to use the riffle, the gun without that to come,
I was unable to count the voices,
will corpses on my Name make it easier for me?
I could already have m< streaks of Deaths in my past,
I do need no war or once joint forces to recrute me for such,
no graveyard of prophetes, no religion on […]
Tonight, it hits me different. I’m so sad. I don’t know the exact trigger, but as i was leaving school today my eyes started to tear up. I wanted to cry so bad, but then my Mom texted me and she told me she was picking me up, glad she did because i got distracted and would have started crying.
But right now i’m mentally not in the best state. I’m trying to stay positive. Trying to stay happy, but i’m always sad. I don’t really know how to cheer myself up anymore.
I want to give up. I want to die. But will i kill myself? […]
How do you cope with being lonely?
I find myself making plans and then cancel them because of social anxiety and depression.
Tonight is Halloween and I was supposed to go out with people but I canceled on them and now I feel like a fucking loser. It’s been happening a lot lately and each time I feel more and more lonely.
and the feeling of being lonely sucks. I am a sucker for (love) company.
So, how do you deal with being alone?
At work….dont i believe i ran i to the worst possible person (at least for me theres obviously worse people like hilter although im not 100% sure its him but im going to fimd out). I spent my day feeling sick. And then didnt i go to my friends sentencing. More anxiety! Thankfully anxiety attacks dont hang around that long. I hope ill be feeling better in the morning.
Is anyone over 30 here?
I’m starting to get bad again. But this time it’s different, I don’t feel anything. It’s like my mind just shut itself off and I don’t know how to turn it back on. I get so overwhelmed with not being capable of the things I should be doing like, hanging out with friends, going to work, going to school. I push myself to do the needs of school and work. But I feel like I’m floating outside of my body looking down thinking what in the hell am I doing? What’s the point? And it’s starting to truly scare me I’ve never felt this empty […]
Everything is going downhill for me, once again. I’m losing friends, and they are losing my trust. Including my school counselor and one of my teachers, for study hall. I talk to them, but they are making me feel like i can’t open up to them because of their responses, but i don’t tell them in the moment. I don’t want them feeling bad for saying the wrong thing.
I just feel so alone. I felt alone before, and it is a feeling no one wants to feel. I even hoped to never feel, that feeling ever again. Yet, here i am. Feeling so alone to […]
I will consume you. I will completely take over your life. You’ll think you’re in control but really I will be. I’ll change the way you think about everything, the way you live. I will slowly destroy everything you once knew and loved. I will ruin your life until you don’t want it anymore. I’ve always been a winner, even when other people say you can beat me. You can’t. I will end you. Or you will end your life because you can’t live with me anymore. I’m too powerful for you to handle.
I am depression.
I’m 21 and have been in
deep depression/isolation for the last 3 years. I used to be a pretty normal teen ok grades and good socially and I was always happy and unknow of What the other side of happiness was.
Dont get me wrong my childhood wasnt perfect far from it, I was born and raised until 15 in Africa and there parents are a bit more rigid when it comes to educating children so getting beat Up until my face becomes unrecognisable because I said something on a dinner or didnt Get good enough grades was commun.
But getting back to track, at […]
2 weeks ago i bought it. and everyone is acting like its a surprise. please! im an addict. what did you think was gonna happen? i was gonna be fine with a single joint lasting me 3-4 days. yeah right. and now i need something stronger……
I feel like killing myself plus others
I have wasted my childhood. Being a retard. Isolating myself from all social interactions. Wasted my time reading books with useless information (books for kids teaching some stuff about planets and stuff) and enjoyed loneliness. Came in middle school having absolutely no knowledge of social interactions and spent free time programming on 80’s microcomputers (really? I was born in 2003, why play with such old trash?). So when I finally tried to interact with people (around 14) it was a total disaster. I kinda got it now, how to not look like a creep, but I’m just not an interesting person to talk to. I […]
I am thinking a lot about Death. I want it, but I am more passionate about Love. I would set myself Alive for Love, I would make my Wish to Die true by dying in accompany of those who I love and I could finally stop all my Lifestyle that is bad for my Life.
On the other Side, I could live on with my Lifestyle, doing this with my beloved ones, not in Direction to Die from, but with the Perspective of enlightment, to have occupations of Truth to found on, to enjoy being alive and to have the Thrill of doing wrong to Law.
I […]
Everything is so loud.
All I want, is some peace.
I want to stay somewhere quiet, sleeping, maybe to never wake up.
But I can’t, I can’t sleep, and I can’t stay somewhere quiet.
They would not want me to.
They are the loved ones.
But those loved ones, won’t let me meet someone I love.
‘Cause they are scared.
They fear the unknown.
But I fear the monsters that are coming for me, they will eat me up, and I will not be able to fight them..
They don’t know, and they cannot know.
But someone knows..
All I want is to meet this someone..
Before the monsters come..
Every time i get close to doing a suicide attempt, one thing in particular stops me. Survival instinct. My brain won’t let me kill myself.
Except, last night the depression got really bad. I was having trouble breathing, couldn’t stop crying and my whole body was trembling. I just wanted the pain to stop. Not breathing seemed to help calm myself so i did that a few times. At some point, i didn’t feel the normal pressure of my body making me breath anymore. I just held my breath and didn’t feel the urge to breath. At that moment my survival instinct was gone. However, the […]
it’s not the romantic part that i want, but i feel like i require something to keep that part of me together, to touch me and let me feel real. i’ve been left out in the conversations, people look at me as if i’m not there. i don’t blame them since i stopped wanting to talk recently.
“a, remember that you’re loved, we love you, come to us if you are feeling down.” they say that but words will never get across. they say that knowing that they don’t want a damn to do with my own business, i don’t want to share either, it’s just […]