General

I think most of you already know him but if not I highly recommend that you search him on youtube or read his book. If you have left at least the slightest hope in you to get your shit back together I think he is the best chance you got. He is not like the other motivation bullshit people that just tell tell you that you will be happy forever after you do what they say (usually buy their stupid overpriced book or some shit).

No. He claims life itself is suffering and you can never get rid of it, but you are stronger than you […]

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN QUIET?

So I honestly think she’s gay, which means this will mean nothing anyway; that’s why I’m even posting, to be honest

theres a girl at my supermarket job that’s I think is kinda cute. She has a short haircut and a tattoo on her arm that makes me think she at bare minimum understands people with depressive illnesses, and she’s very shy. She’s also learning how to play guitar, and is be willing to teach her if I thought I were any good at teaching. I don’t know what type of music she likes and I listen to pretty “out there” stuff; again, I think she […]

Where did you go? I just hate not knowing if you’re dead or alive. It’s just the worst feeling.. It’s not like I can tell anyone irl about them. That sucks because I could use some reassurance or something. I love you both, one as a good friend, and the other as girlfriend material and that’s no lie. I feel like I’ll never be able to properly connect with people irl, never find love that way. My mind is too much of a mess at this point. It lacks cohesion. Too many random thoughts, and ideas I can’t ever properly express. Nothing helps, not writing […]

Beauty is skin deep!

Which is more sexy?

this is going to be really long and I don’t expect anyone to read I just need to vent or whatever. so I have never been diagnosed with anything, mainly because I am scared to disappoint my parents again after what my sister went through. I can remember I was always happy as a kid, at least my mom says so. it wasn’t until I was 11 I remember feeling so lonely in my group of friends. sad and unmotivated. quit all my activities because of how uninterested I had gotten. then came the distancing from everyone and everything. I think what triggered it was […]

who the fuck says i deserve counseling when i didnt give it my all

I didnt just fall. I came crashing down like a house of cards. Like a brick being dropped from the 50th floor. He was the only one i was ever my true self around. He brought out the me i had hidden away for years. When i cry hes always right there to wipe the tears away. When im cold hes always right there to warm me up. I couldnt have ask for a better husband. But…..things still dont seem to be right.
I would die away from him. Around him im annoyed. Some of the things he does…..ugh. its so confusing. Reading page […]

Hey there you!!

I looked around me but nothing appear to be present

“Hmm??… Who was that?”

Ahaha!!! The voice cackling, “im right here!”

the voice got close

I jumped back!! Goosebumps ran all the way up my body.

Whoosh.. the wind blew aways the leaves. It was pitch dark at night 1 o’clock after midnight. I was confused?

Who are you?.. a typical mindset of a 8 year old. I was a type of kid who didn’t believe in anything Until it happens before my eyes

The voice sneer in disdain. “Have you heard of life and death?” 

My body shudder then went limped for a whole 10 seconds.

Life […]

how selfish would it really be to take my life? i mean in all honesty i’d be dead. yeah thinking about how “hurt” my family would be sucks but if i’m not here to see it i guess it wouldn’t really matter. lately i’ve seen how much my parents don’t love me. at least they don’t show it. they constantly try to degrade me. making me feel worthless. school has also been really fucking stressful. life all together. i think it’s better if i just wasn’t breathing any more.

that’s my sole purpose of going to work everyday 🙂

Just when I think that things cant get any worse in my life, they do.
People keep getting in my way of my happiness.
The people I called “friends” backstab me, talk about me behind my back, and turn on me like they’ve never cared in the first place..
People hate me for things I don’t even do wrong.
I’m so lost inside myself, and my life..
I was clean for about 8 months, before I fell so far into the darkness and couldn’t handle it anymore that I managed to slip my way back into cutting again.. It’s not something I’m proud of, but […]

made me withdraw my attempt
got missed in the aftermath
shall anyone kill itself before too late
give me a gun and you’re dead

Yay for…..whatever you call having memories that freak you out. Ok i have to get ready for work so long story short….
Im taking my friend out to get our nails painted. And aside from my depression occasionally not wanting to ive been fine. Until about 5 minutes ago.
The only person that has ever painted my nails is my mother. And in case you dont know my story she abused me. Physically. Emotionally. Knowing someone abused me sexually and did nothing about it. (It was her husband) Basically ive been there done that with her and its just hitting me now like someone dropped […]

If I wont be able to change my life for the better this year, i’ll sign off.

lifes at a wierd stage right now for me. i think its getting pretty bad if i hate the word life. makes me think of how long and horrible mine would be, last night i tried again. but every fucking time i do all that pops in my head is my nephews and neice and my mother and how it would affect her and one time i tried and i thought it was too late then passed out for 3 days and woke up thinking you silly girl wtf is wrong with you how could you put that stress and pain on your family, so […]