My Suicide Note
Every day is terrible, but today really pushed me over the edge. I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to try ODing on my iron pills and finally dying. I hope my family disposes of my body and not leave it there to rot because they’re some horrible people, I tell you. All rotten, all abusive, all evil people.
So, goodbye. This 18 year old is finally breaking free. No more nerve pain, no more mental illness, no more abuse. Nothing. Hopefully I’ll finally be successful this time. I can only pray.
so i tried because i was so tired and i couldnt care less about anything else, i dont give a fuck weather anyone would be sad or mad, i texted goodbye two friends and wrote the rest letters, one tried to stop me but i told them this is what has to be done. so after cutting many stupid cuts on my stupid leg i looked at my arm and got too weak to cut it open so i opened the pill bottle and ate it all. i was already dizzy from blood loss and fainted on the bathroom floor. a tiny while later i […]
I honestly don’t even know why I am still here. I look back and think of how many times I have been up at night crying, sometimes for not much reason at all. I look back and wonder why I have been so ready to go but haven’t yet. I don’t have the energy to be here anymore. I dont have the social capability to function here anymore. It has taken me too many rough patches to realise that there is nothing keeping me back here anymore. I just know that I can’t handle being here for another hour longer.
Last night i had a party at my house with a few friends. I tried to get all my coworkers and friends there, and luckily for me most of them showed up. I kept bringing it up and reminding people that it’ll be my last outting. The last time I will really be out or see people. What they didn’t know was i was planning to kill myself after they left.
The party was fun. Lots of drinks and lots of laughter, so when everyone left I originally thought i was just over reacting. Until i tried to actually fall asleep. All i kept thinking bout […]
Hello everyone, I’m not a native speaker, so at first I would like to apologise for any mistakes I’ll possibly make in this post.
I don’t plan to leave any suicide notes, because I don’t have anything to say to most of the people and those to whom I do, wouldn’t want to listen. I’m writing this journal, because I don’t want people to freely shape my image after I die. Especially that they only see me as an idiot, or a monster, or a silly fool. Or a failure (that part is true though).
I found this website, while searching for the most suitable metods on […]
fuck this shit fuck this country i hate my country’s educational system,, so many kids attempting suicide and no one’s doing jackshit FAST about it.
well, i guess i’ll just be another dead body in the morning. i hate living. i hate life. bye.. see you all in the afterlife…
fucking tired of humans,,, i hope i get reborn as a loved and pampered cat or dog because i just don’t want to think!!! im sick of using my brain!! even when people tell me im smart, im fucking dumb and fail tests and fail to pass my homework on time!! fuck this shit!! i just want […]
Throughout the course of my life, I have experienced a string of failures and have only occasionally managed to make the occasional breakthrough.
I wasn’t able to pursue the career I really wanted due to me not being skilled and experienced enough and there being a lack of entry level jobs to break in to the industry. Currently, I am unemployed and every job I interview for has 20 other candidates also campaigning for the same role and thus I keep getting rejected.
I don’t have enough money to go back to school and at this point, I regret ever going to school at all.
This natural spark […]
Every time I have been faced with multiple options for decisions, I have picked the wrong one. Every. Single. Time.
Ten years ago I decided to go to a school that was more expensive than my family’s socio economic status because I thought the investment would pay off and I would get a good job. I had a great experience, but everything came to a screeching halt when I graduated, was hit with my first student loan debt bill and I found myself unable to find any sort of entry level job in my field.
I made the mistake of staying in my home state, which isn’t […]
This note is just a formality. I know damn well most people won’t care that I’m gone, or why I’m gone. But leaving without an explanation is still sort of a dick move, and I guess I don’t want the last thing I ever do to be a dick move.
Well, what can I say really? Just that there’s an obvious negative correlation between how much someone knows about me and how much they want me around. Sure, I might seem OK at first. But I’m anything but OK. I’m awkward. I’m stupid. I’m oblivious. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as rude. I […]
Is it wrong for me to think that people should commit suicide ..? I’m most definitely not for it as I have seen the difference it can make in a life. But … Have you ever put yourself in someone else’s shoes and just thought “Damn … It would be so much easier … Plus I’m not afraid of death… People should be more welcoming of it rather than afraid … But then again they have lived all their lives living it … So something different might nno be as good”
Idk … I’m just drinking here, laying down wirhaw life full of unaccomplished achievements right […]
Just said goodbye to my dad a few hours ago, he was all I had left. The MS finally took him, I’ve got a loaded gun on my dining table waiting for me.
Always make time for your family everyone because you’ll regret it otherwise.
Anyway yeah not the best final words but it’s something.
Bye
I want to drag you in
Deep inside me
Deep inside the blackhole with me
I want you to know my sadness my sorrow my darkness
But in the end I cant tell you
You have problem too
I know mine is so much more
But I cant give you more sadness more sorrow more darkness
When you said you bring bad luck to people around you
How can I say that Im not alright
How can I say that I have depression
When you are just my best friend
When you said about your best friend death
When you said your ex gf have cancer
How can I […]
This is it. I feel it. Now is the time.
Good luck to you all. Much empathy. I love you all.
Goodbye.
I’m not sure how things will turn out. I’m not sure if people who know me will see this. But I’ll just leave this here, just in case…
*** *** ***
Hi all.
I’m really sorry.
The last few months.. No.. the last few years have been extremely difficult for me. I’ve been sick on and off. I was left without any idea of what to do. My options were gone, dashed with the end of art classes and painting. I couldn’t try and force myself into the resto+bakeshop seeing that things had changed so much from when I was there that it was dizzying just to try and keep up. […]
I’m sick. What am I sick of? Sick of living a life that brings me very little joy. I honestly don’t know why I put in any effort toward anything anymore because it is useless. I think I need to get it through my thick fucking head that I’m fucking miserable and theres nothing and nobody who can fucking change that. I would say excuse the language but I’m done. I’m sick of all the bullshit I call a “life”.
I have an application on my phone called the Luna Diary. That is where I write what I’m feeling today, but it’s not like any ordinary diaries where you will read what happened today and the extraordinary revelations that happened in the current time. What I actually write in there are my suicide notes from every time I am having an episode. Similar to today, I am currently experiencing one while writing this description. Since my phone is broken, I’ll just have to make this as my temporary Luna app. I guess no one will even take notice to this anyway. (There is an audio […]
Goodbye, world.
I have a good life. I have parents, siblings, God, friends and love. But… I’m empty. I’m selfish. I try to pretend to be humble, but at the end of the day, I’m just trying to stand out. And I hate it. I’m inflicting pain on those who try to care for me. I give them troubles and tribulations. It’s not fair. I’m sorry; it’s all my fault. But everything will be ok now. Thank you for doing things that I never will deserve. Sorry for being weak, pathetic, anxious, self-absorbed, narcissistic, and pretentious. I love you endlessly. Sorry for being this way.
*I really needed to vent before I take the leap tonight. *And yes, all of the info below is quite true.
Birthday is 12/30/75. I’m 5’0″, giant blue eyes, with long blonde hair…I had major back surgery, so I now have screws, plates and nuts drilled into my lumbar spine. I don’t sleep, I barely eat, I can’t work–I can only stand, sit or lay down for very short periods of time. I am suddenly homeless, I have no family or friends, I have zero income because I’m waiting for social security disability and cannot work. I have no medical insurance, so I am currently off all my mental health meds.(6 of them).I have major depressive disorder, severe anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, and panic disorder. I suffer […]