Anyone else feel like they’re constantly being targeted by assholes? Manipulators, users, narcissists, etc. I feel like bc I’m vulnerable, I’m like blood in water that attracts sharks. Bad people are great at sniffing out vulnerable/weak/nice people to take advantage of. People are always trying to use me or take advantage of me in some way. Or try to control me (narcs). And I’m fucking sick and tired of it.

My whole life bad things happen to me over and over and over again. Move to a new city? Same shit. Get rid of all the bad people I […]

I wish i was still keeping a blade in my pocket. At work when i got an inch on my wrist that i cant “scratch”. Ill deal with it later im sure.

I need to be getting new ones anyway.

Still the honor roll!!!! This was a post from obviously a while ago. These people meant a lot to me back in that time. I was actually getting back on to see if these people are still active on this site currently by any chance?

SP Honour Roll
written by @
12/23/2014
Bisban (Morlock)

Clevername

CyanidesOfMarch

C4 (and his various aliases)

Dawg

DeathDreamer

Distant.Road

Distress

Duke of Marmalade

Koji

Nias

OnlyLoveisReal

PainNLife

Persa (and her various aliases)

Procel

Quaero

RealTalk30

Rocketman (and the Hot Tub Gang)

RogueShadow (I forget the numerals)

Searchingformeaning

Shepherd (RogueLonesome)

Snuf (and his various aliases)

Stendarr (and her various prefixes and affixes)

StruggleOn

Thanatos (and his various aliases)

Tristeza

TheWhispersOfMySins

Xanadu (and his various aliases)

Sometimes I come around, and watch from afar, all you people who speak up, all these pain and hopelessness. The unheard and not understood people. The ones trying to keep the hope in others. We all been through some rough shit. BUT ! I wonder if you guys realize, how strong you all are.

Most humans on earth have a common life, with small bumps but they just slip over the hardships and never truly stare into the darkness. I believe, the ones here, clinging into that small hope, and still keep to move on, no matter how small or pointless it seems, that you all […]

I am what I am and what I am is what triggers how I feel, I feel like I’m chained to this catastrophic period aka life.

Being slow, stupid, ugly means I’ll forever be subjected to rejection, judgment, bullying and sadness.

People constantly tell me to believe in myself but question is for what reason? It’s only sensible to believe in something for a reason, it would be dilusional to believe that you can flap your arms and fly.

I still don’t have what my heart desires, and all I desire is comfort, security, my own family respect, my limitations ensured that […]

Anyone here into gaming? There’s this app called Parsec that allows you to remotely share your PC and I’ve been looking for people to play a few PlayStation 2 games with. I figured if you’re suicidal, not being bored might help. Idk. I’m not actively suicidal anymore. I stopped seeing the point of coming to this place since it’s obvious wasn’t going to do it any time soon. Anyways leave a response if you want to play or have any game suggestions and have a functioning controller of some kind.

10 bottles of pills. Either have a seizure, enter an induced coma or die. All seems fine with me. Sounds peaceful. What if I fail again? That was a shit show.

Nothing left to do on my list. Just need to wait until it’s time. I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of how hard I’ve tried.

It’s not my fault that I was hurt as child. Over and over and over again. It’s not my fault I couldn’t ask for help because I didn’t know how. It’s not my fault that what happened broke me and I could never find a way to make any relationships. I did the best that I could do and it is all I can ask of myself.

I know its wrong of me. I know my friends are going to worry about me. But i almost kinda like not eating. Ill look down at my stomach and like it for once….

I just want to be able to go to school in 2 weeks being confident in myself, but I can’t get any decent advice, in any discord server I do ask for advice in I get banned, nobody knows what the fuck they are talking about, and I think I am going to end up like my aunt Jackie, and I have sworn that I will do anything to not have a life even remotely close to as bad as hers is, even if it means not having one at all, I’ve got 2 years until I am an adult in the eyes of the […]

I just me Bae…

Hello,

I Haven’t been on here lately as I have been trying to be a productive member of society again. It hasn’t been easy nor has it really made me feel any better about myself or about my life. I just ended up doing the same thing I did prior in life, I just bottled up my feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Then I carried on as usual until I couldn’t anymore, the feelings, emotions, and thoughts becoming unbearable again. I have realized that I do have support from God and “His Universe”. This “Faith” has gotten me further than I could have ever […]

I was convinced i dreamt this website
Some sick depressed fever dream
An ill lonely teen looking to relate to people
I sunk so low
I still do
My scars scabbed through shame
But you heal
Still fragile, broken, cracked, but still healing
Which sounds like some cringe-y crap
Fuck, Ill be so-called ‘healing’ till the day i die
But
I have to make peace with that

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted anything on here. I thought that meant I was getting better, but here I am again. But I think I need to talk about this.

Honestly, I’m starting to worry that I’m all doing this for attention. The whole “being depressed” thing. I mean, I’ve wanted to die for almost a decade and what do I have to show for it? Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to manipulate people into feeling sorry for me. That thought makes me feel physically ill, but my pattern of behavior does seem to suggest this. It seems like every suicide attempt I […]

Just Venting. I’m so sad. Saw my sister for the first time in a year. She’s expecting her first child. I’m glad for her, but it reminds me that I will never be a father. I don’t even want a family right now, but it’s knowing it’s not even an option that hurts.

What I want is a partner (at least some of the time). But I’m so far away from being capable of that. Even if I could somehow deceive someone into caring for me, and find someone that could stand to be around me 24/7, it’s not something I could do to someone […]

Over the years I’ve worked very hard to fix what I thought was causing my problems in life. I’ve moved into better and higher paying jobs, I’ve acquired more money and found better and more comfortable places to live, and I’ve endeavoured to reset my relationships with other people to the point where I limit my interactions with those who do not make me feel good about myself.

However, the problem is always there and never goes away no matter what I do. No matter how much I am able to make my life better, I cannot get rid of the intense feelings of unhappiness and […]

if i could just casually say that i am going to kill myself and nobody would take it seriously. and nobody would worry about me. and nobody would later seriously claim that they want to kill themselves too. and if i could half sarcastically sit with people on the ledge, just hoping that there was a way out of all the stupid situations that this world puts us into.

i think i may be living in a different world than you. but i just never seemed to have an opportunity to do these things.

No hope
Tired
Everything is nothing
Surrender

Feeling like I’m getting pushed to the edge

lately, a few memories have been flooding my mind, not sure why. it’s been a rough few months, honestly. and flashbacks haven’t made them any easier.

classes and homework are taking up a lot of my time, but still, feels like i’m spreading myself thin. friend of mine started to talk more regularly with me this year and they think it’s great and all but half the time i don’t know what to say. every time we talk, i feel so drained; i just physically can’t keep talking for the whole day.

kinda hard to explain, but it just constantly feels like i’m being talked down to, […]

Not suicide related

I’m so lonely… I’ve been kinda trying to interact with others in the online game, even though the game isn’t there for socialising.
I don’t want others to find out what I’m like though, they’ll probably laugh. I’m useless, miserable and am done with life.

I don’t know why I bother. Most people in this world are needlessly judgemental anyway.
Most people also don’t care about others, that’s just how we are…

I believe that there’s someone out there for everyone. Unfortunately we’ll probably never meet this ‘someone’ in our lives.
They are out there, just the likelihood of ever coming across them is […]