I still miss my ex, and I can’t deny that he did some good in my life, but all in all, he was critical and very judgmental of others. The world is infested with extremely judgmental people.
I have a mum that cares, even though I’m a waste of space. I’m talking to someone else online on a seemingly regular basis now. I don’t think we can really relate, but we both seem to know that humanity sucks.
I’m so lonely, but so what… I’d rather be… I was travelling in a bus yesterday and overheard judgmental comments. I may overhear judgmental comments whenever I […]
I’ve been more suicidal than I have in a long time. It’s how I found this website. Earlier, I got close, but I saw my rock collection out of the corner of my eye. I hadn’t looked at it in a long time, and I don’t know what compelled me, but I distracted myself by picking up my rock collection, telling myself things I already knew about some of the rocks. Which ones were sea rocks, which ones probably came from a river, etc.
Somehow this distraction led to me absentmindedly cleaning (a tiny bit of) my huge depression mess, and I found some tiny things. […]
Age is happening to me whether I want it or not and I’m closer to dying of old age than I’ve ever been. Now I have decisions to make. I’m not a big fan of dying of old age. It robs us of so much and places undue burdens on those we love so much.
I wrote about this in another post in my last comment to the post.
Perhaps you may want to read it, perhaps not, but it’s there.
Today should have been a good day, a few things went quite well, but all that is overshadowed by the words of a local lawyer “I don’t think that your case is actionable”. I appreciate the serious mindedness of lawyers, but they are a discouraging lot. I can’t sue my former employer for wage fraud or hostile work environment. In the opinion of this lawyer, I don’t have a case.
I have trouble forcing myself to care, about anything at this point. If I had achieved my ends I would currently be in a quite lush hospital, out of my mind, and potentially with a better […]
so i recently made a new online friend. but im concerned that theyre too much of a friend. not in a creepy concerning way but, oh idk, im probably hopefully overreacting. is it over reacting if they think about you? i can never just have a friend can i? why does everything always have to be complicated? im probably better off without friends…
Yeah, I’d really like that. It’s all an endless misery!
My first post wasn’t much of an intro, I really just needed somewhere to scream a bit. Lemme do this again.
You can call me Grimhild, I’m in my early 20s. I go by they/she. I’m doing my best to get by with an undiagnosed physical disability and many diagnosed mental illnesses.
I found this website by mistake. I was idly scrolling through search results, looking for suicide prevention tips, and I found the forum.
I’m not sure how often I’ll post, but I hope to find shelter here.
Nice to meet you all.
This is my first post here, so hello. You can call me Grimhild. I’m in my early 20s. This is going to be a bit rambly. I’m very tired because I haven’t slept.
In short, I feel very useless.
I’m trying to get a physical disability diagnosed. I was supposed to sleep so I could get my blood test done, but every time I’m going to get a blood test done I cant sleep until the sun is up, then I pass out and sleep
There’s a another jack on this website so I guess I’m jack #2. I really don’t want to wake up tomorrow, this is just a circle and completely pointless. Why is happiness so hard to reach, meanwhile sadness is so hard to get rid of. Sometimes life feels like a sick joke. People that I care about dies but I get to live? I didn’t ask for this , take it back cause I don’t want it.
Very energetic little birb baby found in the grass a little ways outside my very humble abode. Got a free meal of boiled and dampened egg yolk then a few hours of searching later, got to go home. Hope you make it okay out there you crazy little ball of energy.
Good morning. To anyone…
(how sad. but hey.)
I woke this morning filled with irrational hatred. Wanting to destroy the whole world, and everyone in it. It’s a familiar feeling. There’s no logic or justifiable grievance behind it. No one has ever wronged me severely enough to provoke such feelings. If I were to explain it, I would put it down to some kind of suppressed narcissistic rage. A primeval fury at being denied that which I feel entitled to.
I drift back and forth between dream and consciousness, gripped in this negative state. Slowly the parts of me charged with functioning kick into gear. But a shadow is cast over my day. What […]
My daughter keeps sayin how gross it looks but it looks way better than it did last week. My 6yrold believed me when i told him i got bit by a zombie. I personally think that was a better excuse than the truth which is “mommy lost her sh*t, bought some chemicals and sat watching ER reruns as i sprayed my arm for 30mins” lol
I started journal writing. Had to give the crisis hotline a break […]
im always seemingly invisible… and muted… ever since i was a young kid, i would speak – and people would ignore it. They would hear it – and just talk about something else – as if I had said nothing at all.
Over the years I have become quieter and quieter. Now I have met someone that I am madly in love with. And the only issue there is that he does the same to me. He doesn’t listen to me. He speaks over me. And it hurts so bad because it brings back all the past. And it makes me close up.
I just didn’t need […]
another thing i dont know why and search for help here: i found a record of an ambulance call from the death of my role model and cried.
2 days later a ver close up friend died by suicide.
the suicide was 2 days ago and i didnt cried about her death
but i cried about the call of lil peeps death like a baby that got hurt.
if anny1 knows if im a fucking psychopath or smthn like that pls tell me
It seems that approaching a plan of healing involves believing you “deserve” it. So how do you heal when you approach life from a place of subservience and subjugation, self loathing and worthlessness? Oh, I see…you just fix all that, THEN the healing begins. Ok.
I woke up today feeling absolutely dreadful. Getting up was so difficult to do; I was struggling in bed just wanting to sleep or, better yet, to die. I knew that I was going to be late to Homeroom but I didn’t care. It took me around ten minutes just to get my laptop from the drawer of the nightstand next to my bed.
It’s so beautiful outside, but it feels wrong. The stunning appearance of experience is a deceitful facade that conceals its horrors. I’m looking out the window right now and thinking, “How is it that the world has so many beautiful things in […]
The industrialist said to the fisherman, “Why are you napping under a tree?” “Because I’ve caught enough fish for the day.” “Why don’t you catch more?” “Why would I do that?” “So you can buy more nets, a bigger boat, go out into deeper waters, then buy a whole fleet of boats and be rich like me.” “Then what?” “Well, then you can enjoy life.” The fisherman: “What do you think I’m doing now?”