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.’`,.*.•°•.*.•°•.*.•°•.*.•°•.*.•°•.*.•°•.’`,

by darkwillow
by darkwillow

I have a strong fascination for the dreamy, irrational, wonderous, obscure. Fantasy worlds, unreal colors, indescribable sensations, mosaics emotions.

These things exist clearly when we’re dreaming. But sometimes within reality as well. When listening to music, looking into someone’s eyes, the sky, patterns on a rock. As well as any art form really. I try to live in this world as much as I can. It’s quite easy to when the thoughts of reality are absent. The reality we consider and agree on is very rational. Strongly structured and absent from any color.

I always feel as if I’m on another planet whenever I listen to play […]

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Things are Getting Awful

by ravenna121
by ravenna121

I’m so sick and tired of living this nightmare that is my life. I have been deprived of all happiness and feel nothing but pain. Life is a terror and bad things keep happening to me. I don’t feel safe at all. I’m not even me anymore. My mind is deteriorating and I have trouble thinking straight at times. I feel extreme, unbearable anxiety that makes me feel like I’m dying.  I loathe myself and wish I never existed. I wish I had been fucking aborted at least, goddamnit. Things will never get better. There’s no way out at this point; it’s too late to […]

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Need to hold on N

by J Doe
by J Doe

I’m on my lunch break. I can feel myself breaking down little by little. My job is simple. Really really really simple. But for some reason it’s hard for me. I’m broken. My stomach hurts. I can’t eat. I think my medicine is also making me drowsy. Nothing is right. I can’t do this. I’m broken and I can’t do this. 9 hours of hell 5 days a week. I can’t make it. I just don’t know what to do.

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Letters

by gods joke
by gods joke

They made fun of my letters.

G – “that looks like C7.”

O- i remember writing pages and pages of os. They looked like 6s. On the plus side i can make a perfect circle now?

 

They still trigger me. I cant not remember. It hurts when your own parents laugh at you.

 

If she ever wants to come back into my life she should have to pass a test. A test shes sure to fail but would prove a lot if she didnt.

Name every mistake youve ever made:

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toxic hope

by heartlessviking
by heartlessviking

It’s not the pain that gets to me, I’m somewhat numbed to that, it’s the hope that keeps me going into unpleasant situations. I think that I haven’t been honest with myself about desireable outcomes. I tell myself I want to move on, but do I? I am seriously bummed that my (possibly former) employer didn’t reach out to me today. I started applying for new jobs, already got the first rejection back, and I’m remembering how much I despise job hunting. It’s all pleasuring unattractive people, I know that it’s not supposed to feel like prostitution, but trying to talk a company into hiring […]

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by rywa
by rywa

I always am curious to know if things that happened to me effected who I became as a person.

I don’t get to go back and live my life and change one thing and see how I would have been different.  I had a rough childhood.  But I really did my best to change that.  Would I have been the same person regardless?  I was molested as a child by a friend of my parents many times.  But I never have a conscious thought as an adult about this.  Yet every professional says these things matter.  I don’t know.

I am hoping the shock treatment I am […]

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To each they own

by LoneSoul
by LoneSoul

my imagination is getting darker and darker by the minute. I don’t look back. Because I’ve already experienced the good and bad. I’m imagining myself being the one being in the person place at the pov. Of these videos that self indulge myself into. Im empty inside. Trying fill them. With whatever my demon’s are sayin. I don’t fight them no more. More like accepting them in the process. I don’t know anymore. I put myself into this. I and me only. I don’t like to play the blame game. When your used to things that don’t kill you. It makes you stronger… The stronger […]

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…bangin’

by Once
by Once

This is Anthony. He hangs out at the park and bangs his drums.

https://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Anthony-4.m4a

Screw the world, bunch of pinhead motherf*ckers running this show.

Mass shootings. Inflation. Cyber attacks, corruption, racism…fossil fuel, global warming…assault rifles, and oh yeah – fucking COVID – conflicting mask guidelines, “Karens”, Instagram, Facebook and Twitface,  boo yah… Space Force, Hamas and harass and harangue and hate…bullying, beastiality, baseball…murder hornets and pick your poison from the six o’clock news horror show…

I don’t know. I don’t care. Listening to this cat was the […]

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Break up

by Unsheard
by Unsheard

My girlfriend, well ex girlfriend, broke up with me about a week ago. I’ve had relationships in the past where i have been broken up with and i thought i loved those people but this one hurts so much more. Her reason was because she felt like she lost her self worth, not because of me and she said that i deserve the world but she needs to focus on herself. My last 3 ex’s broke up with me for pretty much the same reason. They all said that i was great and it’s not my fault but all i can keep thinking is what […]

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wishing so hard on death

by Wisp
by Wisp

my ex was right, I am useless and nobody cares, not even my friend. I’m sure my friend is getting tired of me and is sick of me, and I can’t blame her, she has much better friends, she’ll be ok. I’m sorry that I waste her time (not her words).
Only reason someone would care is out of pity or they want to make themselves look better, like himself.
I just want him to stab me to death and all will be over.
I don’t want anything.
And it will make me happy that failures like me are dead. I know he’d want that, […]

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by nobody really
by nobody really

I can’t do this. I can’t let go. I don’t know how other people do it but I can’t. Even before the past was just too much but the recent past is even worse. Years and years being the butt of that joke and knowing it deep in the back of my head no matter how hard I tried to trust. I don’t know what to do. Feels like being a living corpse infested with maggots and vultures ripping away at the rotting meat. Not that anyone gives a crap. People have their own problems they need to deal with and should be caring about […]

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by J Doe
by J Doe

I had off today for Memorial Day. It was nice to have a 3 day weekend before having to put my head under the water again this week. That’s what this job feels like. Holding your breath under water. And those little moments when I’m not at work is like coming up for air and gasping only to have my head pushed under again. I just need to make it to August. I keep saying that, but you know. I finally got my medication again. Since I’ve been off these medication for a long time I was […]

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Emergency Contact

by rywa
by rywa

I hate that so much.  Every single doctor or therapist I go to has to have an emergency contact person.  I have to either make up someone or explain that I don’t have anyone.  There isn’t a single person to call to help me.

Most of the time I just make up someone and list my own phone number.  No one ever checks these things.  It still makes me feel ashamed for being alone.

 

One therapist rejected me for listing no one.  Don’t you have a friend or priest or neighbor you could call if there was a crisis?  She said her license wouldn’t allow her to […]

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Each and Every Passing Day: A Deeper Look at Life

by SadG
by SadG

Each and every passing day I get closer and closer to being able to fully commit to killing myself and throughout my life its caused me to take a deeper look at life including my own as a whole.

Life is rife with issues and has begun to feel like its not even worth living for, even with all that I have in this life. Family, friends, acquaintances, and activities are the only things that really keep me in this life living through it all. But even now I find myself giving into these horrid thoughts, even with the kind of blessings I have had. I […]

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