It will never be ok…

Hi,

I hope that someone will be able to help me.   I feel I can’t tell anyone anything and trapped.  I had a child by a gay man.  My daughter is beautiful, and I don’t regret having her.  Now, that I see him come by the house more often it’s usually nice, but there’s one thing that is making me angry.  He has a nice boyfriend who comes over, but I see the two of them kissing in front of me.  His boyfriend used to be me kissing him, taking showers and baths with him, and going out doing things together.   You get the picture.  My […]

what a life i have. my parents with there sharp tongues and quick jokes. such bullshit they know the impact they have on me its ridicilous i honestly dont know how ive made it this far. and to think when i was 9 years old being called a mother fucked by your own mother who didnt care who didnt think that would do anything to her son. what stopped me from pulling that knife quick across my throat, there are good things in this world but in my case they come rare and often stay short. bits of happiness for me was looking at the […]

I hate my life period. I am almost 30 and I’ve never had a real boyfriend and all the relationships I do have ends with them leaving me for someone else. Everytime… I give money to these men and tell myself I’m helping them when deep down inside I know I’m buying there time.
I don’t have kids and I want them worst than anything. The only thing I wished for as a little girl was to have a family of my own. I had surgery to see if anything was blocking my ability to have kids and as a result of that I found […]

I’m going straight to the point here..I’m undiagnosed. Doctors don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. My symptoms are so random. I used to be so happy and pretty until I started taking birth control. Even though I’m off it now, the damage is already done. If I drink anything, I retain alot and expell little. My skin is darkening and I look like a dude. I’m a freak. No one looks at me the same anymore. I don’ blame them, I hate looking at myself too. I want to get out of this shit hole that is my life. I want to […]

I’ve been contemplating suicide for about a year now. I was on birth control pills to help regulate my period and insulin levels. I used to blame my depression on the pills but even after I got off of them I still have really low lows of depression. I graduated high school at 16 because I couldn’t stand all the drama. People were so petty and fake I couldn’t take it anymore so I got out of there. Maybe I felt like people would really think what I did was amazing. I grew up in a small rural town where nobody graduates early so maybe […]

Hi, I rather don’t want to say my name,
I live in Europe, and I am 17 years old,

I have a disease, Which makes it very hard for myself, to lose weight,
If I lose 1kg, and eat 1 meal, I will gain that 1kg again,
I live healthy, I try to exercise, Nothing helps, And there is no cure,

At This very moment, My weight is 160Kg,
I know, I’m fat, But many, many people bully me,
And that is what was the beginning of my ‘fall’

I tried many sports, hobby’s, enc enc,
I found none to be appealing to me,
Till I started to […]

I am not sure who will see this, are if they will care. Everyday I have consider how to end this pain, the empty feellings that are in my heart . I am sure it will be by pills I hope I have enough. I have wanted for so long to talk to someone and empty out my soul to. But I think God is tired of my tears, if I were he I know I would. I feel so tired of trying, putting on the smiles saying I’m ok. But I am not ok. I take care of my edlery father and I have […]

I really dont know why I feel so alone…I have so many people in my life that love me very much, but I feel so alone.  Sometimes I think maybe that is the reason why I feel alone.  Life is so wierd these days.  I feel like it is all just a blur.  I stay up late and sleep in late.  I go to work and hate it.  I come home but I dont want to be here.  I use to never be like this until poof one day everything is different.  I honestly dont think that I am depressed but maybe I am… I […]

Ive always lived my life on a knife edge, very much a roller coaster ride, younger women, fast cars, drugs, you name it i did it, im 44 now, but back when i was 7-8years old i vividly remember my mother telling me, when i did something wrong that, “she never wanted me, ‘they’ didnt want a boy, they only wanted a girl,” my sister is 2 years younger than me.

All through my life its been there in the back of my mind, but its not realy untill you reach a certain age (for me it was a couple of yrs ago) that your mind […]

But I feel like everyone else in this world is fucking retarded. There are so many things I just don’t understand about people. Why would you believe in religion? It’s just something people made up to explain everything. Why can’t people just say I don’t know? I don’t understand why people want to wear nice clothing, do their hair, all that stupid extraneous stuff. My parents keep trying to convince me that if I don’t have money, I’ll be miserable. Half the students in my school are all selfish people who just want to look good in front of others by getting g/bfs. The other […]

my life is over. i want it to be over. i know that im not alone in all of this but no one understands. i hate having to go to bed at night wondering if ill get raped or if my nightmares will come back. i hate looking at myself in the mirror; looking at all the cuts and bruises. im tired of harming myself, but it feels so good. its the only thing i feel yet im tired of feeling it. i cant wait until this feeling passes. but that means ill be dead. maybe God will forgive me or an angel will catch […]

I’ve been feeling increasingly down…  Suicidal thoughts are pretty much an everyday occurance nowadays.   Although I don’t feel like I could ever go through with it really.  I’m too much of a chickenshit, and I know that I would cause a lot of people a lot of terrible pain, which I don’t want to do.  I just don’t want to be in pain anymore either.  

I feel like I used to be happy.  I used to be excited about life and the possibilities it could have held.   I just feel like I’m tied down to a lot of stupid bullshit that I don’t want to be tied down to anymore.   […]

Therapists and crisis hotlines are overrated? They haven’t really helped me at all. Different strokes for different folks, of course, but it just seems like these people rarely care about your feelings. They just want to keep you alive, like a vegetable. It seems like that’s how everyone is. “Just get over it”, “everything will work out in the end”, “why the hell are you still cutting yourself, idiot?!”, “imagine how everyone else will feel if you kill yourself, you selfish bastard”…it’s all about everyone else but me, isn’t it?

Whatever happened to me being the monster? Whatever happened to me being the villain? Whatever happened […]

i’m 25, no job, no car, no home, with a child, no friends, i havent lef the hosue in one year (literally not walked outt he door), been through this before, when i was 18 didnt leave for 3 years, i’m severely suicical, i’m almost there, my depression was a seeed that slowly over years grew to this point, no turning back and what’s the one thing i hear over and over? ” suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems” well hey how about this-i’m suicidal not because i lost my job, or my husband left me, or because of some other bullshit reason […]

This site, first of all, is amazing. I personally thank whoever made it. It’s a big help…and that’s all I’m gonna say.

 

Having said that, I want to borrow the title for a moment. You want “The Suicide Project?” Here it is, as corny as it sounds:

 

Live like you were dying. Literally.

 

Because, deep down, if you’re suicidal, you’re dying anyway, right? You’ll get to that point of your depression (only if, of course, you’ve completely made up your […]

I found the one reason I keep my heart beating. The only person that makes me smile and be happy. He is the guy I have liked for over a year now. Turns out he liked me for about the same time. Actually he would kill himself if I died, and I’d do the same. He’s really nice, but has a bit of a weight problem. My friends all make fun of him because of it and his laugh. It really upsets me that not one of them care about the fact that I love him, and he loves me.

I’m considering suicide. I feel like it’s time, like there’s nothing else I’m meant to do. Like my purpose here is kinda done. Does it suck? Hell yeah it sucks. I feel like I had potential, I had a future. I’m an incredibly talented guy. Everyone has said that I’m one of the best actors they’ve ever seen and that I’ve got a shot to make it big. I’m an ambitious filmmaker and I’ve won awards for some of the scripts I’ve written. I’m recently teaching myself guitar and piano, since I’ve already taught myself drums (not too hard). I’ve written two albums of songs […]

If I could just make some progress on my bills.  I’m an homest man I never stiff anyone, but since I lost my job two years ago I’ve had to live on a small pension, (thank God for that) and I just slip farther behind.  I’m 55.  I’ll never be able to pay them off.  I hide the hurt from everyone but sometimes it comes back so badly that it’s almost unbearable.  I never, ever,  thought that at this stage of my life when I should be looking forward to my “golden years”, I’m instead living in a rented apartment, struggling to get by, with […]

Tears slowly rolling down my discolored face comes from pondering my short fate. I listen to my left blinker click in the distant background of my thoughts while I wait for my turn to enter the freeway heading east toward the dusky sky. Getting the green arrow, I squealed the tires on my red Mustang GT. The car rocketed across the stretched road onto the freeway. I made my way through six lanes of traffic into the carpool lane. My heart matched the speed of the car, which became a hundred and forty miles per hour, and my stomach was left behind at the signal […]