I don’t know how to kill myself at this point. It’s cold again and like last year, I refuse to do anything that involves me being outside in the miserable freezing cold. But at this point I’d like to kill myself as a big “FUCK YOU” to everyone. I really want to delete my facebook all together. Why have it when I don’t have friends? It’s over with the asshole because -I- say it’s over. Real friends don’t constantly threaten to cut you out of their life unless you act like someone you’re not and pretend to be happy for them. That’s just being controlling. […]
Tag:
always
I remember feeling from a very early age like I didn’t belong anywhere. I always felt like the black sheep in my family and I was always pretty shy so making friends wasn’t really a strong suit.
I started getting depressed when I was about 12 years old. I had a teacher who I usually went to when I was having a bad day because I knew no one else would listen. I was having trouble fitting in when I was in middle school. I tried to fit in with all different groups of people but I never really clicked anywhere. In […]
today, was bound to be a horrible day. i woke up feeling like a failure. thinking about my future. I know I’m young but please don’t bash me about how I’m feeling. I was thinking about me graduating, and how everything’s gonna change. everyone’s going there separate ways, and everybody will be happy, then I think of me, how everything’s gonna just get worse for me.it always seems to be so great for everyone else, but when it comes to me it’s a whole different story. I feel like the universe is out to get me sometimes. And it’s just so overwhelming. I’ll be […]
so I haven’t been on here in a while so I thought it was a good thing but you people on here always help out when I post something and reading the comments you place really help me a lot to help myself.
I have been getting bullied a lot I dunno why. I have been getting called fat so I started going to the gym a few months ago I thought twas improving my appearance til some people at my college started taunting me calling me fat and ugly. You see I have a twin and she has always been the one people idolize over. […]
i’m going to be so focking lonely on my bday, i already know it.
i don’t have any friends. i don’t have a bf. i’m not even close with a lot of my family. the family i am close with live in different states and can’t make it here. my parents will be getting drunk, like always.
it’s this saturday, two days away.
and she just opened a beer, so we’re not going shopping today, i guess.
why do ppl always flake out on me like that??
i kinda didn’t even want to celebrate, at first. i was feeling pressured to celebrate though. but now that i do want to […]
Depression
A lifelong companion, you’ve always been there
You have no compassion, you don’t really care
I take a sharp blade, try letting you out
The harder I try, the more tentacles you sprout
If I scream out in anger, will you leave me in peace?
Are you done with me now, please when will it cease?
Too many long years, just existing alone
I didn’t choose this body, but it’s mine to atone
If I call out softly, will you come rest in my soul?
I think I’m now done, with digging my hole
Mike Rowedick
*sigh*, I don’t even know how to begin. It’s not in our Hispanic culture to give up or speak about our feeling so I don’t know how to start this post.
I’ve always had thoughts of ending my life, but I’ve always been able to suppress them and put them in a corner. Now I just thought of giving up. I am 19 years old, fresh out of high school with no sense of purpose. I work 10 hour days which give me alot of time to think. I think about all my friends who have gone on to college and to […]
What is it that keeps dragging me back to this point, wondering whether it’s worth living?
In short, fear. My constant companion, though it fluctuates. Sometimes the intense panic of social anxiety. Others the restless despair of a perceived future. It gnaws away in the back of my mind when I try to relax or enjoy myself. It chases me through my dreams.
It is always there, telling me that something is terribly wrong, requiring all my attention – that nothing else can be enjoyed until it is resolved.
So, what is it that I’m so afraid of? At route, it’s that who I am is fundamentally unacceptable to other […]
Wish I could just end this! Something or the other always stops me. I never wanted to live. My life is harsh on me and it is difficult to survive it seems. I am just another normal 14 year old teenager but what goes on inside me is unknown to everybody. I am so pressurized by studies and coaching. Every time I have a new coaching to attend and i am supposed to handle everything. I can’t! I am just a human being! My parents have cut off my connection from the outer world (except school where i have no friends basically. Actually they just […]
Well, hello everyone..
I haven’t written on a site like this before but tonight I needed to tell someone, anyone before I explode. Just as an over view I’m an 18 year old in the grey as hell country of England on the south coast somewhere..
I have always been treated for one kind of mental health issue or another. My mom had me put through Dragonflies which is a kind of bereavement councillor when I was in year six so around 10 / 11 years old, I think she was hoping I was just sad when my grandad passed. Don’t get me wrong I was but […]
I had a friend in college once who killed herself. She got into a fight with her boyfriend, and, when they broke up, she hung herself. People said, why’d Marie do it? Marie was so special, so unlike anyone else I’ve ever met… how could someone with so much to offer, someone with so much magic and life inside them, just up and kill themselves like that?
But I didn’t wonder why she did it. I knew. I understood completely why someone like that would want to die– or rather — why someone like that couldn’t bear the pain of living any longer.
I’ve always considered myself to […]
I’m sorry if I am not allowed to ask this. Also sorry if this subject upsets or triggers anyone.
For those of you that cut,
do you do it quickly or slowly.
Is it one single swipe, or do you take your time and pick at it.
Do you always make a new cut or do you revisit old or recent cuts.
Do you feel what you would class as a normal amount of pain given what you are doing.
Do you dress the wounds yourself or do you ever go to the hospital afterwards.
I’d just like to know if I am the same.
To this day i always tell me people i love being alone
And it’s true. I do like being alone.
But everyone confuses it with lonliness and i cant stand feeling lonely.
There is no actual point anymore for me.
I have 0 interest in anything anymore.
Ive tried to engage yself in so many activies and trying to do more hobbies but nothing catches me. Nor does the depression help.
I am a hopeless case
I dont want my life to be saved nor am i asking for help when i write this.
I just want to die and stop the pointlessness of what my life is. […]
Halloween used to be my favorite day of the year and the fall used to be my favorite time of year but it’s managed to be miserable every year since 2011 when my first cat was sick and dying.
But right now I feel the most horrible. I feel sick to my stomach out of pure misery, sadness, depression and loneliness. I can’t say I feel like no one gives a fuck about me because I know that no one gives a fuck about me. I’m going to end up alone and homeless just like the universe and God intended from my very conception.
I’m all alone […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I try, ….
I try to love and find the reason to stay, but every day that I woke up I feel this fucking pain,
theres something wrong with me….
since I was a child I felt that I dont belong to anyone or anything…
I got a lot of feeling on me, and i cant control them
I know you may feel the same…
Im so fucking tired to try, try to live, try to die, try to do something else, always trying to get over this situation, but there no way out,
A stranger approached me the other day. It was the early hours of the morning and my partner and I were standing outside a takeaway, waiting for our food.
The stanger tapped me on the shoulder, to get my attention and looked me right in the eye.
“You’re not right”, he said, after examining my face.
He spat at me while he quickly stormed off.
I’ve always thought I’ve been a little bit of an ‘outsider’ but my god, this changed me. Ever since, I’ve noticed people look at me the same way when I pass them in the street.
What do they see?
theres always pain, sometimes it goes away but only for an hour or so. it hurts too much to be alive. I hate that I have to wait a week or two before I end it. my friends birthday is coming up and it would just be cruel to ruin it, so here I am wasting away.
My mind isn’t always the happiest of places, even when I try to stay positive. I literally spend my days skipping around, humming happy songs, telling people “everything is great!” telling people to stay strong.
By the time everyone is in bed though, I feel rather hypocritical.
My mind barely lets me rest, it reminds me of everything happening; everything that has happened in the past. Even with all the time that has passed, things still get to me. They’re like little demons just trying to tear me apart from the inside out.
I think of what my cousin did, and have to get up and take an […]
What do you do, with the pain – the despair. When you come to believe that it’s not just a passing phase, or something for you to overcome. When it’s been 8 long years rather than 6 months. When your hope is gone, and you can’t think of anything else to try. When you come to accept that this is who you are, and likely always will be. When doing even basic things is a struggle, because nothing seems worthwhile, and your brain won’t focus on anything.
When you won’t end it, because you can’t do that to your parents – who sacrificed so much, and […]