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Just blew up at my grandmother

by brokenandbent30 5/16/2016

written by brokenandbent30

My grandma has been living here because of certain circumstances, but she keeps inviting over my little bad ass cousin and she disrupts the entire house! My grandma even told her it was all right for her to stay today and she missed school. For what? Just to go around and get on everyone’s nerves in the house? The girl does NOT listen at all. She’s a bad apple. Period. The girl finally left today and I heard her tell my grandma “See you next week” so I blew the fuck up at my grandmother because this is NOT just her house.

It’s so inconsiderate to […]

5/16/2016 4 comments

hey cordless……..

by noneedforaname 5/16/2016

written by noneedforaname

Hey cordless, I was reading some of the previous post and seen the one you did about your claw ring and had to say that it is a very cool ring, I had a close bro give me the exact same ring about 20 years ago, this one was made out of brass ( of all things ) the funny thing is that I still have it all this time later. When I read your post and seen the ring I looked for mine and found it, along with some other stuff I have forgotten about. Thanks bringing back some really cool […]

5/16/2016 7 comments

why cant they just not talk?

by outinthedark 5/14/2016

written by outinthedark

my family spent so many years not talking about our fucking problems. and now my siblings are like “we are talking to our parents about are problems so we can get them fixed” and then i get included into the conversation and get to hear about their depression and their mental problems and then i get praised for being the one child without problems. can we just go back to not talking? i dont want to be the mentally sane child that apparently has no problems. i need to get the fuck out of here.

5/14/2016 4 comments

How are you supposed to get help for anxiety.. when you have anxiety?

by Hope342 5/13/2016

written by Hope342

I am kind of stuck. I’ve wasted an entire year at university but have been barely able to get out of bed let alone get a degree, so now I am redoing my second year. (I am writing a separate post about that)

All I want to know is, how am I supposed to go and get help from a doctor if I am too anxious? I know many people on here suffer from anxiety, how did you first go and get help? Like my nervousness is so crippling I can’t even think about going to the doctors!

I get stomach pains when I am anxious, and […]

5/13/2016 2 comments

pernicious

by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany 5/13/2016

written by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany

I’ll live through this
I can’t see through this
I can’t do this anymore

I don’t want to be here anymore. My sanctity is benefiting from the absence of trust. The pressure is building at the back of my mind.

Broken. Collapsing. Death encircled me.

The incidious thoughts are growing louder than before.

I’ve done my best. Lay me to rest. Just let me die.

5/13/2016 2 comments

warning

by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany 5/12/2016

written by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany

I’m sorry for the demon I’ve become.
You should be sorry for the angel you are not.
I wonder how its gonna be when I don’t wake up.
Some words when spoken can’t be taken back.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with the idea.

Everything is ready. Except for my family. I don’t want any one to miss me. Not like they will anyway. If I was still jumping, this would be so much easier. Blame it on a chute failure. Pour me from my boots and into a grave.

Now the biggest enemy I face is myself. I’ve got a fairly reliable method for self-disposal. […]

5/12/2016 3 comments

fuck it.

by Alan Ominous 5/12/2016

written by Alan Ominous

I almost posted some metaphorical thought based shit. Decided nah, fuck that. I ramble too fucking much.

I almost posted some deep internal , dump my heart out shit. Ironic I’m not really comfortable with that. Besides so many new faces, filling in the back story… fuck it.

I almost posted a funny ass song, well, I think it’s funny. I kind of over did that though.

So, here’s Twiztid-Darkness. I like the song. I like the video. It’s not overly goofy, or too deep to me. Just posting up to post up. Thinking on getting blitzed wasted tonight. I haven’t tasted booze in 7-8 months. Haven’t been […]

5/12/2016 109 comments

Claw Ring

by Cordless 5/12/2016

written by Cordless

clawring
.
For about ten years I wore a pair of hematite rings.
Usually they don’t last that long because they can be brittle.
Mine finally broke awhile back, and I enjoyed searching for a suitable replacement.
Something which was interesting but still dark and angsty.
I decided on this. I think it’s pewter.
Gotta love the all-enveloping claws of doom.

I wear it every day.

5/12/2016 3 comments

I am still here.

by hogpotter 5/12/2016

written by hogpotter

It has been 3 and a half years since I came here. I was so close to death, to cutting my self, I slept so close to the razor under my pillow, I walked the deepest pits of hell.

I am a survivor.

When I look back, funnily, I don’t see darkness. I don’t see pain.

I see life. I see struggles. I see beauty.

If you hold on long enough, one day you will look back and realize the beauty of all struggles. You will see that the truest form of living is the one which is closest to death. That the brightest light is the one […]

5/12/2016 1 comment

Her

by alyzabelli4 5/11/2016

written by alyzabelli4

It’s been a little over two years now since she left, I know I should be happy that she isn’t in pain anymore but when I think of her and everything we had I can’t help but cry.

Its been two years since my whole world was ruined by the girl who I had known for so many years, my best friend, my rock. I could have helped her, I could have answered her phone call but I just didn’t, I didn’t pick up the phone when I should have.

I’m so sorry I didn’t pick up, im so sorry I wasn’t able to help, oh why, […]

5/11/2016 5 comments

Remember when we didn’t existed ?

by Lacalamity 5/11/2016

written by Lacalamity

Man oh man I surely miss those times before I was born, felling nothing, no hunger, no thirst, no emotions and times flew bye so fast don’t you think guys ?

So yeah I really want to go back to those good days, I don’t want a paradise or hell, I don’t want to be conscious, maybe because I fear to see my family from the otherworld.

But jeez it is so tempting, the good old days, jokes on me if we live again the same life.

so yeah, loosing it soon as time goes bye and as the gun locker laughs at me.

If anyone wants to know […]

5/11/2016 6 comments

Ghost Train

by Cordless 5/9/2016

written by Cordless

Here’s something our symphony played awhile back.

It’s called “Ghost Train”.

Creepy haunting angsty stuff.

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Ghost_Train.mp3

5/9/2016 4 comments

Just checking in

by kismet 5/8/2016

written by kismet

Hi guys. It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I have pretty much been doing the ‘keepgoingandhopeitgetsbetter’ thing. You know- putting off til tomorrow what I don’t really have to do today. There have been a couple new developments in my life.

For the past twelve months I’ve been staying with my parents again. Yes, I’ve been on my own since 20 and have now, after some major life events, had to swallow my pride and move back in, in my 30s. Well, finally my patience has been rewarded and in a few weeks I’ll be moving back into a place of my own.

I’ve also started […]

5/8/2016 3 comments

Movin’ On

by NicoleK 5/7/2016

written by NicoleK

Another song I wrote a while back and decided to record (poorly). Basically a suicide note, a very mild one, in song form.

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Movin-On-5_7_16-2.05-PM.m4a

Verse
I don’t wanna bother you anymore
Because I know how much that hurts
I don’t wanna be there at your door
Making your life so much worse
But I can’t help that I exist
So I’ll move along this process

And I’m not the sappy type
So I’ll keep this letter short
It’s the last that I will write
But don’t think it’s your fault
I’ve got a better place to be
And you’ve got better people to see

Pre-chorus
I’m sorry it […]

5/7/2016 20 comments

what?

by kittykat 5/7/2016

written by kittykat

I don’t know what to do
I don’t know what to say
I don’t know what to hear

Knowing is what I am looking for.
Knowledge is both beautiful and tragic.

Beautiful because there is nothing better than being aware
Tragic, because once aware, can never go back to unknown.

Once you see it, it’s difficult to forget.

Unknowingly happy
Knowingly unhappy

5/7/2016 6 comments

ha

by One Million Masks 5/7/2016

written by One Million Masks

i don’t really come here for help anymore, so please ignore me; i just wanted a place to ramble.

i never in my wildest dreams thought i would make it to eighteen- not once, even at my most optimistic, did i seriously consider the possibility that i’d still be here today… but i am here.

i don’t really know how i feel about that.

it’s almost kind of laughable, you know? like a bad joke or a fucked up riddle, what’s still there but not, what should be gone that isn’t, what do you call a ghost that’s still alive– and it’s me.

it’d be nice to say hey, […]

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5/7/2016 2 comments

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feel like a failure

by Wintergirl 5/6/2016

written by Wintergirl

I’m not doing well tonight. Got in a fight with my boyfriend. It wasn’t a huge fight or anything but it just left me feeling so bad. We had a nice dinner planned. Well, he did. Then one little thing I didn’t do set him off and now he’s sleeping but he made himself something to eat. It’s absolutely stupid really. He was mad because didn’t have a beer for him when he got home from work. Nevermind the fact I was on my way back from the store when he happened to get home an hour early. No use explaining. I really didn’t feel […]

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5/6/2016 12 comments

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I can’t keep doing this…

by Snowy 5/6/2016

written by Snowy

Last night my husband and I fought again over something trivial since I can’t remember what it was. He had to go work with his parents today since I’m not providing anymore. He said I’m forcing him and I should feel bad for him. He’s doing landscaping and I know it’s a hard job and I do feel bed for him. But back to last night, I took my pups out and stayed downstairs for a while. When I came up he got pissed at me saying “you know I can’t sleep alone and I have an important day tomorrow but I guess I should […]

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5/6/2016 7 comments

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Why I have trust issues

by Amme in chaos 5/6/2016

written by Amme in chaos

I don’t know why I keep trusting people. I just feel like people don’t care. I told a ‘friend’ of mine what was going on with me and he was going through the same thing and I thought that this time its gonna be different. I didn’t even feel awkward or angry about people invading my private and emotional side. I really don’t know why I expected something different this time. No one really cares and I think he’s just like the rest of the people. Just hangs around you when he wants and leaves you hanging when you thought you were friends.

I was smart […]

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5/6/2016 3 comments

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it’s funny what triggers a memory

by Wintergirl 5/6/2016

written by Wintergirl

I just found an article about a 13 years old boy that died close to where I live. The article was sketchy and seemed to be leaving too much out but had no trouble describing the boys mother holding his life less body rocking back and forth in the ditch. At first I thought maybe he got hit by a car….but the article would have just said that, why leave that out? I thought more on it, the kid killed himself. I found another article that confirmed it. The whole article was deeply disturbing as it described how the kids on the school bus saw […]

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5/6/2016 1 comment

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