The thoughts of suicide their back my life is falling apart again My so called bestfriend yeah I told her I didnt want her in my life anymore why? because shes gone out with my boyfriends that ive gone out with she copies everything I do shes a real diffrent person…Not the one I met…..My other so ccalled bestfriend is taking her side I dont know why tho…..They both talk smack about each other and they both know it My friend Donna and my friend Ema are the only ones by my side because they know angela Everybody else thinks shes a die hard sweet […]
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Hi everyone my name is Sunflower. I have been a member of this sight for a while now (over a year i think maybe 2). This sight has helped me tremendously. When I had no one I came here to talk and express my feelings. Ive made friends here; some of whom havent come on for a while and I hope are doing well. When  I say I love you all i mean it. My life has been hell, confusing and oh so very lonely and SP has been my light through all the darkness. Anyone who I havent talked to on here i do […]
I’ve been battling on and off depression and anxiety for three years, but my parents don’t understand, no matter how much I talk to them. I can never get along with them. They fight with each other frequently over different things. Just today my parents were yelling at each other over my brother, who has autism. He couldn’t understand a simple topic, which caused my mother and him to get in a fight and leave her in tears. Then my father came and yelled and her. Then they yelled at each other. Then they both left. This happens a lot, and my mother talks about […]
I read a lot of people who have multiple suicide attempts, I don’t judge but I do feel genuine remorse. I think im different in that ive had one attempt which was nearly successful and had a shotgun as backup but when it was cocked and pointed I said “it don’t feel right yet”. this was Halloween night 4 years ago, my thoughts have not changed I still want to not be alive for as long as I remember (I don’t want to die, just prefer it over living) ive had happiness but still felt this way all except for a few months my girlfriend […]
Im not sure If I am truely mentally ill or if i subconsiously want to think I am.
by SomeGuy1993
written by SomeGuy1993
The tittle is strange but it is what im going through. It might be completely retarded but I have to throw this out there and hear from some other people. This site seems like a good place to do that.
Needless to say that im here because I been having some issues involving the idea of suicide, and im going to just say everything thats been bothering me and why. Im going to start off by listing some medical/Social that might be a cause. Also, I am 19 and male and white.
Medical/social suspicions:
– My mother is manic Bi-polar who attempted suicide and I have a brother […]
Yesterday I went for a walk, somehow I felt a little better. I saw some horses and watched them for awhile. Walked in the rain, but it felt good, at least it made me feel. But last night I looked on the internet and there is so much – so much of the opposite of what I’ve always thought was beautiful. Gentleness, tenderness, sweetness, paintings that move you deep inside, someone that would help a neighbor, little children being allowed to be innocent, dreams, words that carry weight, words that mean something. I start to think I wish something had happened to me awhile ago, […]
This guy from my past has been calling me but tonight he was going on about how he helped some girl at the library where he works and it was like he was trying to upset me about it, its hard to explain, he plays mind games, and the stupid thing is it worked. He has upset me. I am very vulnerable right now and he knows it. What is it about me?
So I made an excuse and hung up, but now I am feeling even more shakey. The thoughts are, I dont want to feel like this anymore, I cant do this anymore. I […]
i wish i can drink alcohols and get drunk, forget everything for a while.. but i cant really drink it.. i always puke.. wish i can sleep all day and hav beautiful dreams instead thinking of how miserable my life is.. i hate my parents i hate my brother i hate my environment i hate my life i hate everything.. my parents sucks.. they always see things different than wad i see,, and their financial sucks too make it worse.. i always see tht im less than my brother.. its not like im comparing myself to him.. but the fact tht he went to expensive […]
I have decided to end it all. Almost a year and a half ago my youngest son cut me out of his life because his girlfriend didnt like the choices I made about my business. They wont talk to me nor will they allow me to see my grandchildren. They have always been close to me til now. They have lived next door to us for over 5 years until this conflict. My grandson is only 7 so untill the estrangement he always was next door. I now have a grand daughter that I dont even know or would even recongnize if I did see […]
If you have read my first post you will understand that my life is honestly shit. If you didn’t to sum it up. My dad beat me my whole life, I told him I wanted to kill myself and he told me to do it. He took me to the hospital when I over dosed but dropped me off left, and told me I deserved it. A bunch of stuff has happened since. I have been in 3 mental hospital for attempted suicide. At one point I wasn’t eating or doing much of anything at all. I would go to school come home, and sleep […]
Last night I was gonna kill myself. I had everything set up. Â I was actually starting to feel better knowing that I would not have to deal with the day to day suffering. I was not going to say good bye. I was just going to go away. Then I heard my dad telling me good night he told me he loved me. I just started crying I’ve been not letting myself do that. I realized that everyone feels pain. My mom shes depressed too. My brother has to deal with his past. My dad is full of regret. I can’t just go away. I […]
Oh well, life has been… well, life has been life lately. I am posting here because I feel the need to after some crazy weeks. Still trouble with education and law, basically everyone is endlessly procrastinating. I couldn’t care less. I have been taking insane amounts of benzos for a few days until I ran out. Life is quite a lot more bearable when you are unconscious, surprisingly. Alcohol helps too, the combination is good too. Until you run out and you have to withdraw. I had been taking the benzos on prescription as a sleep aid on-and-off for a few years, so withdrawing from […]
I really can’t take it. I just want to take a break. I just want to be happy. I don’t want to try and live like this anymore. I tried okay? I tried so hard to focus on life. And I just can’t reach it. Even though I’m young, I’ve never felt this pain ever before. It hurts as bad as hitting by a truck. I want to cry, but all I have is a mask that covers me when I’m badly injured. I told them, I was fine, just felt kinda tired for sleeping too late. But no. I tried everything to end this. […]
i want to tell my story, i want people to know the real me.
What I remember most from my childhood is violence, fights , tears, fear and harassment.
I remember I was afraid to go home because I did not know what was happening at home.
4 years ago I was raped by my brother, It happened many times over one year.
The only thing that stopped him was that he moved..I was young and did not realize that it was not appropriate..
I have met him many times after, but I do not understand how he can look into my eyes and pretend that nothing has happened..
A few years later my dad […]
I’m sitting on my bed, and all I hear is the rain falling and the wind going crazy. Sometimes I wish there was more sun here. It makes me more depressed looking outside. Today has been another bad day, I feel like I can’t talk to anyone, and I feel so lonely. I’ve lost mostly all my friends because I’ve been with my bf for 2 years and it’s all about him now, which is good because he’s my friend but when he’s not there I feel so alone. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t understand how much sadness I feel inside, and all the […]
I’m tired of trying to be like I was before; happy, etc. I just want to take a break for a little while. I’m not going to cut, or at least I’ll try not to, but I’m not going to really be happy either. I think that Trevor doesn’t like me. I’m not using any buts this time. No hope for it. I’m done with him. For real. No crawling back. Thinking back on it, he’s probably at least 25% of why I was so unhappy before. I just don’t care about him. I mean, I don’t even want to think about him. Or any […]
I’ve been depressed for about 6 years. Â I’ve been thinking pretty much these thoughts throughout the entirety of that time period- the thoughts becoming more complex and clear or unclear as time passed. Â I’m 18 now. Â It has been especially bad this year getting ready for college. Â The thoughts of moving out and beginning the rest of my life are eating away at me. Â I never really thought I would get this far but I did. Â The fact that I’ve only been here 18 years is killing me. Â I’ve only been here 18 years. Â How can I possibly put up with 70 more years […]
For so long…. My life has been one giant fuck up. I wont lie, Ive done a lot of bad things in my life. But thats not why I want my life to end…. A few years ago I lost my closest friend in the world. No, He didnt die… I suppose its best to start this story from the beginning. Please forgive me for my poor grammar and punctuation.
From the third week I was born, I had my friend Quinn. He was like a brother to me, He never dodged my questions when I was down and needing advice. He talked me out of […]
I don’t know. my parents were addicted to meth. To be honest my mom did meth through out the time I was in her stomach. I did not come out wrong I was never normal though. My parents loved me of course but they were always to busy doing drugs and stealing from the government to really take good care of me. My mom eventually went to prison for 5 year. I was sad of course but she left all the time anyways so it was normal. My dad quit meth. He started drinking. Most people would be happy but my dad was worse when […]
This was originally a much longer post.
Until I saw other people getting responses whilst you cunts ignored ME.
Thanks for proving me right. There’s no one who gives a fucking shit about me here, either.
Fucking cunts.