I should be happy, right? My birthday is soon and I’ll be 25… Fuck that! I don’t want to live to 50, let alone 25. This urge is getting worse. I want to take a knife, cut open my stomach and rip my damn guts out.
This turtle I’m eating tastes nice… like gluttony.
There gonna make me call my in-laws for Easter I wanna cut my tounge out . then im forced to go to party with alot of people who hate me . why am I going because there grandparents and my grandparents-inlaws are besties. Yay I hope I catch a stomach virus before three o-clock. I wish I would of died in my sleep
I wanna die I wanna bust my head open I can not take this people today self righteous there better then any body on this mother fucking earth .and there th good grandparents meet with others later and all I get I called […]
Here I am just like before
Siting on the bathroom floor
I said I wouldn’t
But I’m a little *****
Now that I’ve told you
Don’t be a snitch
The bleeding won’t stop
You’re gonna want a mop
I’ve never cut this deep
But don’t you say a peep
Say I ran away, this is our little lie
Pretend I didn’t tell a soul goodbye
I finally joined after a few days of reading what people have written, which isn’t much different from what I want to say. I have had thoughts of suicide, I’ve actually been very close to committing suicide, I stopped myself from that one time, I held a knife that was digging into my neck. The only reason why i stopped was because of the effects on my family. I think of suicide everyday now, it’s becoming worse. Now i cut my wrists. I sit in my room alone and I cut myself, every cut I would make I would have tears in my eyes, and […]
Hmm… I can’t exactly be sure why I decided to come to this site, to post about it… But i need to get it out and off of my chest to people who i don’t know. I don’t want my friends and family to know how i feel.
I’ve been depressed as long as i can remember. I remember as a little kid crying and asking my mom weird questions such as
“How do you know if you’re depressed?” “What is depression” “Is depression feeling sad all day?”
I was probably only 6 or 7- but my dad had very bad depression so it wasn’t not talked about […]
Hey guys… long time no see. It’s been months since I’ve been on here…. months spent thinking. Thinking that I was getting better. Thinking that the old Sam was gone. The one whose depression conquered her on a daily basis. The one who ran to her knife for comfort. The one who never knew what a nigt in peace was like.
Wrong.
So damn mother fucking wrong.
Hahahaha life is a cruel joke my loves. It wants you to live but gives you all the cards to die. I hope you are all doing better than me. I hope to see some familiar faces on here soon… […]
Would you go ahead and kill me already?!
You keep me hanging on the line.
I’m sick and tired of all your filthy little lies.
You are a cancer.
I am your host.
What you love is torturing me the most.
So cut away my skin.
Expose who you really are.
For my body bleeds oil.
The fuel that you feed.
I was never anything.
Just a pension for your greed.
YOU ARE MY CANCER
…..and I am your host
Does anyone know of a website of failed suicide attempts consequences? I want to know what may happen if you cut your throat and survive. Is it a bad methd to try?
This month, I was a victim of abuse. Twice. No, not “use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse”, it’s “treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly”. I’ve been abused many times now, but I think this month is the worst.
Abuse story 1:
So, one day I was in class, didn’t finish my work, so I was supposed to stay back for recess, but I didn’t want to. The teacher dragged my collar (I was about 3-5 meters away from the class when this happened) all the way to the classroom door, and threw me. I hit something, so I got […]
Its been awhile probably because I’ve been happy and getting good help. But now some bad decisions on my part has triggered my depression bad. I’m trying not to think suicidal but i am going to cut so I won’t. I was 2 months clean. I hate my life.
I think I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll cut and use pills. But what pills should I take.
I really fucked myself up this time. I cut my thumb really deep trying to cut up the block of cocoa butter on the bed since I don’t have my own kitchen to work in like a normal person. It’s only maybe a half an inch long so if I went to the ER they wouldn’t do anything. I’ve had 2 inch deep bite wounds and been turned away untreated. It wouldn’t stop bleeding and it is deep. I put liquid bandage on it which hurt like hell. But it’s too short to get stitched. 1. I hate that I’m such a failure and can’t […]
About 50 minutes ago, I posted a question asking whether any of you intentionally cut off your friends, just to make yourself feel horrible, or to spare them.
(Its called, “Anyone Else: Loneliness.” in case any of you wanna give it a look at.)
I’ve been sitting here dreading every second, thinking about it.
And I remembered what I used to say to myself about it,
I used to think it was to prevent myself from happiness.
I don’t deserve a happy; This is all my fault.
Everyone’s problems? My fault. I can’t be happy because its not fair.
You know what I hate the most? Hearing people deny it, try to […]
So maybe I’m all screw-y or something,
I’m assuming the majority of you may not be able to relate,
But sitting here alone and dreading the day, I decided why not write this post. I don’t know why I do this, nor do I think I’ll ever know why,
But I always seem to…Cut people out of my life.
I had this best friend, he was so good to me last year, when I was at the lowest point. He made sure I was happy and all, and he calmed me down every night when I felt my anxiety begin to swallow me. But ever since, I’ve always tried […]
People don t understand how much I hate my life, I have secrets about it like how much everybody treats me like I don’t mean anything. I wasn’t so coward and went through with my suicide, I would have been the first person in my family to commit suicide. I’ve cut, I’ve tried to commit suicide over 5 times One day I’m going to I don’t know when or how but its going to happen.
Yes. Today will go down as one of the shittiest days I’ve ever had to go through. Never has my depression been so crippling. I feel physically ill. Like I want to throw up. I have one hell of a headache. I can barely get out of bed. My muscles are weak. I am shaking.
Maybe it’s partly because I haven’t been sleeping lately. But, I’m terrified of sleeping. I’m tired of the nightmares.
I am so passively suicidal today, it’s a good thing I have no strength to do anything… But type, I guess. Letting it out this way helps.
I just cut. After a month or […]
don’t try to act like we’re pals. i don’t even know you. who the fuck do you think you are, waltzing into my life all of a sudden? you fucking stranger. you’re not welcome. i bet you think you bring redemption upon me. well it’s too fucking late for you. you were never around when i needed you. now you can politely go fuck yourself. don’t act like you’re a big shot. you’ve had your whole life to make everybody hate you. now suffer. and stay away from my new family or i’ll cut you to pieces i swear. i’ll fucking kill you.
I’ve given up. It was the other day I decided to not message the guy I love again, but then by chance he ended up sending me a message. However, I’m still resolving myself to just give up. I know I’m not important and I have no place.
Odd that I’d finally get around to trying to complete his promise to me since he never will. I just pored the shit, so, if it comes out at all, it’s gonna be seriously jacked. The mold was split in half and in 3 sections. Took a shit ton of work to try to seal it up. Best […]
Leaving is never easy.
It is rather hard.
And even though it may seem dreamy,
It can only make you scarred.
I’ll be missing me,
Even if no one else does.
Because exactly like at sea,
The wind blows just because.
It is sad,
Knowing I’ll be gone.
That’s why I must stay,
And live on.
I must endure the pain.
The journey is long,
But I think I can cut thorough the chains
Because to leave without a goodbye is wrong.
Not a goodbye to them,
But to me.
I deserve better
And to be free.
since i fell into the black pit of depression suicide always seemed like an option. well, not anymore. ever since my girlfriend gave birth to our child i feel, morally, that it’s not appropriate for me to kill myself, no matter how low i get.
many times it seems like a mistake, having this child. on one hand, i don’t want him to grow up without a father, on the second hand, i don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life. i’ve been depressed long enough to know that it won’t go away. it’s who i am.
shit, i can’t even cut myself. maybe […]
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