I hate myself. I hate everything. I just had a large argument with my dad and my brother and i just hate myself. The only good trait i have is also and almost always bad. I try to be compassionate, and i am with some people and im a dick with others. I just hate how useless i am and how i have no good traits, im such a changeable, weird bipolar disorder like guy. I just hate it. I want out of life. My dad was angry at me because i have a dream of moving to london (and i hate perth) yet they […]
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Dad
The first installment to the Notepad saga…. yep, that’s it.
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To Whom It May Concern,
You may think of me as stupid. Ugly. Dumb for meeting my 2 best friends over the internet. Meeting the love of my life over the internet. Stupid for writing this, but you don’t know how I feel. Let me tell you.
Living every day is a fuckin’ chore. Going to school is a chore. Walking, carrying everything I need, and just being on the computer with my love is a chore. Trying to survive without him actually being here is a chore. Without the people who truly understand me. Is it such a […]
I thought you were perfect. how could I have been so very wrong? I trusted you. you lost that trust when you touched me when you weren’t supposed to. I hold in this anger every day. you should have never touched me. I didn’t give you permission. you wouldn’t stop.. I can’t stop remembering the sun on your back.. I was too far away to scream. no one would have heard me.. I tried to push you off. I told you no. I begged you to stop. just STOP. but you got what you wanted in the end. you always got what you wanted.. I was […]
when I go to ask for help I get too scared of being sent away and everyone’s judgement. what if they all think i’m crazy or insane or something,
My brother tries to talk to me when I’m crying and it just makes it worse and i just want to punch him in the face.
the man i looked up too, my grand father, passed. mt dad lost his job so now we have no money. my grades keep dropping, I’m cutting more and more.
I’m scared and helpless, I want help and a friend. I have tons of “friends” but none that are actually there for me. My […]
I feel like I am a failure at life, I also feel like I hate myself. Whenever I tell someone that I dislike my life, they tell me, “Oh theres ppl starving living on the streets.” See thats what I hate, when people tell me that. It’s almost like they are telling me that its my job to be happy because I am not that person. It’s hard for me to be happy, to motivate myself, to try something new, or just go out for random things. I always want to be by myself, or at least tell myself that. I get bored with everything, […]
I know for a fact that I get too emotionally involved when i watch movies/read books about depression/suicide/self harm. So why the hell do i still do it? When i do this i start to think of how shitty my life is. This makes me start to feel physically sick. They either make me feel like i have no reason whatsoever to be depressed and suicidal or they give me that false Hollywood hope. The characters always have some huge overwhelming problem that makes them depressed or whatever. Me? Well I’m just haunted by my past (been bullied badly), do poorly in school, rarely see […]
Im very young only 14 but you would never guess that Im 6 feet 3 inches and always was the big kid.  My parents sheltered me until i was 7 when my mother abandoned us.  I got depressed but i never let out untill my depression turned to rage i got into fights in middle school broke peoples ribs but got off the hook because i did very well in school one day i was blind sided and broke my foot that’s when i got introduced to oxycodone i got addicted it eased my pain and i calmed down i had to steal money from my dad to get the stuff I later  started regularly poping pills whether it […]
I have two older brothers. For now we will just talk about the middle child. My middle brother is an extremely difficult person. Not only that, but mum favours him. Not only does mum favour him by fawning on him like a cute little sad child (which she doesnt do for the rest of us) she will always take his side. I believe that this was because my brother was beaten up once when he was around 6 years old, and was then depressed for a couple of years. Even after that though, he would still use his depression as leverage to get what he […]
I have problems with myself. I believe everything in the world is beautiful ba me and some humans. I hate myself, because i have no friends etc. the usual nosh. Anyway, what really makes me angry and upset is my dad. I dont get along with my Dad, he is impossible. Im on summer holidays right now, and we have a grape farm. All holidays, seeing as i have no friends to go out with, i am in charge of keeping our very large house clean as well as things like laundry cooking etc.. and i also work on the farm (i’ve done 75+ hours […]
I honestly have no idea how to work this site, but truth is when I was little my dad tried to kill me and ended up in prison and beat my mom multiple times in front of me. Along with that I’ve been rejected my whole life because I’m quieter then other people. Then of course I fall in love being stupid and stuff so when that happened he was SO in love with another girl and never ceased to let me forget and left me inthe dust. So now I have anorexia, I cut, major depression, and have had suicide attempts. […]
Since this whimsy little Domino can’t think for himself.
All remember my ‘Razor Sharp’ True Story? Basically, it’s about my cousin Hailey and my Dad purposely pissing me off by giving me headaches with smoking their pot/weed. Well, recently I figured out Hailey’s age; 19 years old. Can that change my chances of getting them arrested if I called the cops on them?
Also, Next True Story will be out by tonight.
You know what would be wonderful? If I got Cancer and died. See I would reject Chemotherapy and then I’d die sooner or latter. Then everyone would talk about me after I died like I was such a wonderful person.
“She fought so hard”
“There was always a smile on her face”
“She could always make me laugh!”
Maybe my dad would finally show his face at my funeral…first time in almost 10 years…Or maybe my mom wouldn’t even tell him about it…My teachers would probably come. I was a very loved student. I hardly ever did my homework and I was failing most of my classes but they’d come…I’m sure of it. My reading teacher […]
I’ve felt the same way my whole life. When I see anything, hear anything, or think about anything in the world, it makes me feel pain and anger. I have no idea why.
I’m also angry at my parents for things they did that they no longer do. I hate my mom still for having always implied things, and for hitting me and telling me to kill myself and blaming me for my dad’s sickness and whatever. She doesn’t do it anymore, but when she tries to talk to me, I feel enraged. It’s uncontrollable. I just think about random things she’s done: and the […]
Ever since I was little, my parents have always been different. Harder,stricter, meaner. To all outward appearances, they seem like some fairly-wealthy, friendly vignorons (grape growers). Well if they’re friendly, then they probably just dont like me. Preposterous you say? Your parents LOVE you you say?
No, they dont. Not mine at least. For years ive always been that useless, dumb child that they cant stand the look of. No matter how friendly i am, how well i achieve or how much i help them, i get more crap. Im not dumb and im not useless. But they think I am. Any thirst for knowledge […]
so my name is courtney im 16. Â i dont really no where to start. i live with my dad and stepmom, yet i always hadnt. Â my mom hade at a youn age she had 4 kids. growing up she was more worried about drigs and partying so i was left there to raise the other children while i was mearly a child. my mother went from man to man, we never stayed abywee long. so i deacided to move in with my dad. lottle did i realize that this would be such a bad choice. when my dad gets mad at me he grrabs me […]
Umm..Hi! Im Olya..And Im 15..Im from Greece..And i have commited suicide since I was 13…I dont know why Im really writing this…But…Im really awful…I dont have much friends -the girl who uses to be my best friend left me without a reason…She was everything to me…I loved her more than my parents though… 2 months later our common friends told me that she left me cause they learned im a whore,and cause i had had sex…which is not true….nevermind…my parents knew that i have been cuttin’ for so long,i have been to a doctor also,but didnt help…I cutted yesterday also,they saw the scars and got […]
I have been struggling almost all my life since my dad passed away since 1999. I never really had much opportunity to make something of myself. I am now in school for nursing but also I am jobless. I am constantly looking for a job but to no avail. I really have been praying for God to show me mercy by allowing me to play and win the lottery. If care is not taken I am about to be homeless. I sometimes think of committing suicide but really I am scared to attempt it. I really need financial […]
In my last little ‘True story’ I wrote, I talked of a girl named Ashley. She was once a very beautiful tomboy brunette in elementary school. By high school, Ashley was replaced by a girl who is sex- crazed and drug addicted. She tried to get me in trouble, by trying to get me to go to the mall for homecoming tux. I ended up not going, and it was a good decision not to go.
Anyways, this story is about weed/pot (I can’t tell the difference between them.), my dad, and my cousin. Because I hate my cousin so, I’ll use her real name; Hailey.
A […]
Pfft, the last post I made was a lie. I said I’ve ‘hit my lowest point’ but that’s more like now or the near future. I tried to literally run away from my problems, and I was naïve to think it would help anything. I got 57 miles on foot before a cop started questioning me, and he eventually arrested me (since running away where I live illegal). That’s the only reason I’m still in this tiny little hellhole of mine where as much as the people around me may have good intentions, I can’t take it. I’d run away again, even though as I […]
I’m only 17. I am going through shit right now. Exactly a year from today I was on this site. A year ago i felt like killing myself so badly that it had never got to me like that.
I will try to make this short and summarize everything.
My life began taking its downhill when i was in 6th grade. My parents got divorced and it affected me. I hated my dad. I never hung out with him unless my mom made me.
My dad always called me a hoe since I was in 7th grade. He never felt proud of me really. I […]