Tag:

inside

The Standells – Paint It Black

by Taf Taf 10/5/2018

written by Taf Taf

Lyrics:

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colours anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
–
I see a line of cars and they’re all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
It’s like a new born baby, it just happens every day
–
I look inside myself and see my heart turned black
I see my red door I must paint it black
Maybe then […]

10/5/2018 1 comment

Outside, inside

by lonelygirl645 10/21/2016

written by lonelygirl645

on the outside I look
Strong
Confident
Smart
Cool
But on the inside I’m
weak
shy
dumb
stupid
scared
hurting

10/21/2016 2 comments

Rip out

by J Doe 5/24/2016

written by J Doe

Hello. Im at school right now. I should be studying but I’ve got to decompress first. I don’t think people want me atound. I don’t feel well. Do you ever wish you could stick your hand inside your head and rip out the things you don’t like about yourself? I would like to rip out the thing inside my head that makes me feel weird when around others. I wish I could stop caring. I don’t feel well. I don’t want it anymore. Back to studying. Thanks for listening.

5/24/2016 2 comments

my mom withheld love from me

by sunshinestate90 5/22/2016

written by sunshinestate90

every time a relationship starts to deepen, my brain starts to protest and makes me feel pain I can’t understand. But I think tonight, I finally understand where all this pain stems from. My excuses for running away from someone I like are “they don’t really like me in that way” or “I am not good enough for them”. If I look back to my childhood, I realize that my mom gave me mixed signals about love. I was loved if I was obedient, and I was given the cold shoulder if I disobeyed. I was not taught how to love or what real love […]

5/22/2016 2 comments

My favorite attire is the rope necklace

by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany 5/21/2016

written by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

The contemplation of suicide is omnipresent in all of our lives. A choice of staying in this putrid, disgusting, vile, evil, and irreparable existence sickens myself and those that are feeling the same as I am.

We seek nothing more than the affirmations of love, life, truth, justice, and respect.

My inevitable choice is one designed by fate and itself.

I’ve commenced the process of leaving this form.

So familiar and overwhelmingly warm
This one, this form I hold now.

5/21/2016 11 comments

tirrd

by bipolar emo 5/19/2016

written by bipolar emo

This is not the end it’s only the beginning everyday I live I feel I die more inside depression is a curse I feel so broken I feel damaged I’m tired of living tired of trying to live pain is my life it’s to hard to live like this

5/19/2016 1 comment

im sorry

by butterfly1123 5/17/2016

written by butterfly1123

lately I’ve been completely hopeless, alone, and depressed. I feel sorry for everyone in my life, having to deal with me, I’m so pathetic. I cut myself this whole school year and recently my parents found out, they haven’t looked at me the same, i hate feeling pity from others based on the choices i made, I’m such a *****, i don’t deserve the kindness. I’ll never forgive myself on the choices i’ve made, i’m done, done with the self pity, the apologies, the secrets, and most of all I’m done with myself, i can’t even look at myself in he mirror anymore, I’m ugly […]

5/17/2016 2 comments

Shadow

by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany 5/17/2016

written by retrospectivesuicidalepiphany

My shadow, is shredding skin. Drowning my soul, descended angel, fill me with sin.

I can’t turn back now, I’ve said too much.
I greet the end.

Its so warm and calm inside. The depth of the drop will be sufficient for a quick numb. Soon. All gone.

5/17/2016 0 comment

Distrust

by YoungGods 5/10/2016

written by YoungGods

If my parents ever divorced I wouldn’t be able to choose which one I’d live with. So from my previous post not long ago this memory came to me. My dad and I were in the parking lot at a restaurant about to go inside when my mom called in. I don’t remember what they talked about but when my dad hung up he was pissed. He asked me if I would want to go on a trip with him, England exactly, just him and me. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know why he was saying it. But it hurt. Did he want to […]

5/10/2016 3 comments

This will be my last summer

by Panda_27 5/9/2016

written by Panda_27

I’m so sick of living my life

I’m so sick of hating myself.. I just want to be in peace.

So hopefully soon the voices inside my head will shut the fck up

5/9/2016 2 comments

Hardly Dreamable

by NicoleK 5/9/2016

written by NicoleK

Someone requested a happier song, so here is a song I wrote in middle school. I had a huge crush on my best friend (nothing ever came of that), so I wrote this dorky love song. I swear, I wrote betters songs at 12 then I do now haha.

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Hardly-Dreamable-5_9_16-5.03-PM.m4a

Verse
I have found my heart with yours
Our colors run together right from our pores
And the paper thin walls between us break so easily
I feel so needy
And I’ve been thinking…
Chorus
You won’t ever leave me, baby
Ain’t that right?
You’ll stay by my side forever, baby
And even though it seems […]

5/9/2016 6 comments

Senior Project Stress

by GerbzBaby 5/3/2016

written by GerbzBaby

Senior Projects are ruining me. I could be outside but no I’m stuck inside finishing it because I lost my schedule and forgot the day I was supposed to go. I really hope my teacher gives me more time to do it because the deadline is to close and I’m so far from finishing.

But aside from my rambling I managed to finish the pin I made for U.S History. Inked, colored, ready to go. Sorry if I irritate you with uploading this […]

5/3/2016 1 comment

I’ve been thinking about all of the things I’ve lost and this sums it up !!!

by noneedforaname 4/30/2016

written by noneedforaname

If I could I surely would, ease all of your pain.
But if I could no longer, would you still know my name.

And if I couldn’t drain the tears that pour from these eyes, would you turn your back on me ?
Or would you say goodbye.

If I couldn’t be the shoulder which your head would rest upon.
Would you still be waiting, or would you be gone ?

If I couldn’t keep the smile, forever on your face.
Would I still be around ? Or would I be replaced ?

You have me way beyond empty inside, awaiting my last day to […]

4/30/2016 7 comments

“It was just an adventure”

by Blood_Lotus 4/28/2016

written by Blood_Lotus

The friend I got to know with a mutual fetish and I ended up really liking beyond. I don’t know what kind of relationship it was. More then a platonic friendship, yet no serious commintment.

I guess it is my fault that I love him. Him for showing me something caring, sensual and loving without wanting to get into my pants.

He broke it to me a week ago. When we saw us first and had a lovely day together and wanting to repeat it some time later he actually saw another one. A real, biological woman and not just some wannabe.

He said he was sorry that he lied to […]

4/28/2016 2 comments

Suicide Is Pretty Funny!!

by Wednesday 4/27/2016

written by Wednesday

Suicide is pretty & Suicide is Funny.
So when you add it all together, I guess Suicide is Pretty Funny!!

The powder burns inside my mouth begin to scream and shout.
My mom is a Fag & my Dad is to.
All the kids make-fun of me at school.
So…. I put my .38 caliber inside my mouth and make a mess all on the bed, skull fragments on the sheets & on the spread.

SUICIDE IS PRETTY FUNNY.

I don’t want to fight with the Thunder in my head anymore.
All the other kids say I’m a whore, with the cellphone pictures of my panties […]

4/27/2016 5 comments

I found an old diary

by Blood_Lotus 4/18/2016

written by Blood_Lotus

from 2009 of a brief stay inside the mental clinic. For 6 days I wrote terribly cringeworthy entries on a flipbook… and drew even more cringeworthy pictures. Gave me a good laugh. Yet one sentance stood out to me:
[…]I am important to People, and they like me for who I am and what I do[…]

What happened in 7 years since then? Today I am convinced of the opposite. Infact have attempted suicide multiple times because of issues of worthlessness etc. I wrote further […] “I learned my lesson, I will never attempt suicide again” […]

Yet I remember another attempt on suicide just a few […]

4/18/2016 2 comments

I hope everyone has been okay :)

by nicole123 4/13/2016

written by nicole123

Hey guys .. I haven’t been on since January or the beginning of February . I’ve been so busy with my job .

Let’s just say my life has dramatically changed in the past few months . I got a new job and have been making good money , and met a whole new set of friends . I never thought my life could change so quickly . I was doing really well but I feel like I’ve been slipping off into my depressed state again. But it’s not as bad as before.

I realized a lot about my self over the past few months . I’ve […]

4/13/2016 3 comments

What’s it like to be lonely…

by justalonelygirl16 4/13/2016

written by justalonelygirl16

I have one friend and I love him so much. No one could ever understand how much I love him.

I’m mentally “ill”, and he’s not, and he doesn’t understand me, but he loves me anyways, even if he can’t understand the things I feel…

And I’m so happy that he loves me so much.

But it’s so hard to give him space when all I want to do is be around him.

I want to spend all of my time with him.

I’ve always been so lonely all of the time.

And now I have not just a friend, but a lover, and it makes me so happy, to not […]

4/13/2016 3 comments

Trying to get help

by whydoiwantto 4/13/2016

written by whydoiwantto

I am so tired of feeling this way. I want to try medicine again so that I can function and not be crying all the time. I called out of work today and tried to set up a therapist and psychiatrist appointment but all the psychiatrists in my healthcare network (I literally called every one) are not taking new patients or have no availabilities. I was sobbing on the phone as I heard no after no…

However I was able to set up a therapist appointment for today. I haven’t gone to therapy in about two years but I have been feeling so suicidal and isolated […]

4/13/2016 1 comment

DMT/Psychedelics

by TheHandle 4/9/2016

written by TheHandle

Anyone ever tried DMT? I’ve heard many people have had success in treating their depression or PTSD with DMT and other psychedelics. I tried DMT for the first time last night and OMG I’ve never experienced ANYTHING like that before in my life! The experience was so intense and real I came out of it in shock and my body was shaking. You truly cannot explain the experience to somebody, any description does it no justice.

I’ve been seriously depressed and having suicidal thoughts on a daily basis and today was the first day in a long time I didn’t wake up feeling severely depressed. Don’t […]

4/9/2016 8 comments

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