I look back at my life and I realize there a lot of things that have happened in my life and I’m not sure why. My dad left us. I had a childhood infatuation with a boy who liked my best friend. MY grandpa fell sick. Mom and I moved back in with Dad, and Dad is always trashing me, telling me ot b more useful. MY grandpa died. I got addicted to cutting. I tried swallowing too many pills. I tried drugs. I survived. I fell in love with a guy who liked another. He now tells me not to trust anyone, after I […]
Tag:
Love
I used to do well in school, getting A’s all the time. Making my parents happy.
I then fell in love, and being in love with someone who doesent return the favor, is tiring.
Im emotionally and physically tired, and i just want to sleep.
I want to sleep forever. Which sounds weird, because i know death isnt like sleeping, i wont be dreaming, i will just be dead.
But that sounds the closest i can get to the feeling i want.
Im trying so hard to be what everyone wants me to be.
But I know i just let everyone down.
Im tired. And i think.
Its time to rest.
Yeah. Here it goes. I’m 19. Dropped out of school. Nothing going on in my life. My best friend has just stopped talking to me, probably for good. I’ve been in love with this girl for the past year or so but I haven’t talked to her since the last we saw(a year ago) I just got the courage to try and talk to her. Just talk to her. She doesn’t want to because she thinks it’s weird. I’ve been thinking about suicide for about two years now but it was only until a month ago that I actually came close to going through with […]
I guess I’ll start off with a quick synopsis of who I am before I start explaining what is that’s making me feel suicidal. To start my name is Luke, I’m 19 and I live in St. Louis Missouri, have my whole life. I graduated highschool a little over a year ago and I’m currently going to ITT Tech. I’m overall a middle of the road kinda guy on almost everything. B average student, somewhat attractive, funny at times, etc. Just normal.
Anyway as of late I’ve been feeling pretty bad. Actually I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. For some reason I’ve been […]
I’m not even sure what to write here, but I guess I’ll start with why I feel like killing myself. I have a sister and parents and you’d think we were a normal family. Instead, I hate my parents so much. I love my sister but she doesn’t love me. I love her so much and above all that makes me want to die, knowing she doesn’t love me. When she was 12 our father sexually molested her. I don’t know what happened; I don’t really know anything. This went on until she was 15 and a family friend found out, and put a stop […]
I thought i could trust them
Thought they were my friend.
My broken soul that trembles as i wake
My parents who left me to die alone
I may struggle but no one helps me
I fall deep under my shattered blood
trust me alone with the knives left…
Left on the counter
i walk slowly over to them
My hands shaking
I can’t do it all alone
The pain to keep my arms held up.
The pain to live alone with
No one who loves me not at all
my bitter mind shuts the harsh cold world out
The keys to my broken soul is lost
People can’t understand when i fall unto my …
my floor with no breath left
he […]
Hello
I’ve chickened out so many times but I know one day I will do it. I do feel guilty thinking of people that have died that would have given anything to live I feel so selfish. I was abused when I was younger and cant speak to anyone cause it was a family member. I think of the family and how that news would destroy their lifes so I keep it bottled up so they can live their lifes normally whats one life compared to so many. For a while I was happy but that all ended it seems my life is just meant to […]
I don’t want to live anymore, it’s that simple…
I am a dreamer, and throughout difficult times in my life, I always had this light pulling me toward better days.
I am now 35, depression has always been a part of my life, and I am feeling exhausted.
I lost everything, I am left with nothing. Building my life again would take me an incredible amount of strength that I do not have at this point.
I know what is the core of my endless suffering: I simply need love. But that cannot be done consciously, and when I have truly loved, I have always lost. I cannot keep […]
I’m sure many posts have started the same way mine will; I’ve never written a post before in my life. But things have escalated to the point where I have to say this somewhere…..anywhere. And this seems as good a place as any.
I was married at 18, got pregnant on my honeymoon, so had my first child by the time I was 19. My husband and I had known eachother since I was 13 and he was 15. We were the best of friends until things started changing when I was 16, and we fell in love.
I honestly believed my life was set. We had […]
i’m seventeen, my mom and dad are the only reason i wouldnt want to die, i would like them to understand i need to die, cos i’m no good, i dnt get good grades, i’m not nice to most people, i mean i dont know how to fake smiles, i cant make many friends and i havent learnt not to care about that, but i love my mom and i wouldnt her to feel sad, i wish they didnt love me, that way i’d be free to do what i know i should, if i died it would be one life’s pollution less, not much, […]
right now i’m seventeen, theres been so many changes and events in my life leading to my current state tht i doubt i’ll write all of them here, or remember them all, still, there are some main reasons i have never been able to overcome.
i remember when i was about seven years old and i met this girl who was also seven, she was beautiful even then, i loved her from the moment i saw her, as stupid as that might sound considering i was just a seven yearold, still she lived very far away, so i wouldnt usually get to see her, and still i […]
Well, most people woud think that I’m stupid, so I dont think it would be a good idea to post my side of the story, because I even told my mom about it but she thinks that I’m crazy or something. Anyway, I been thinking of suicide for a while too. I felt that there was no use of living anymore when I become depressed because of my sins I’ve commited. Well, most of the times I feel that God doesn’t even care for me because of my past sins. I even tried to repent but still feel miserable and embarrassed. Therefore, I feel if […]
So, what happened… Thursday night, I downed a bottle of medicine, because someone three fries short of a happy meal wrote on a website that “liquid is absorbed faster than pills.†So I thought… I die faster, and I fall asleep before I suffer. So much for that idea…
Obviously, my plan didn’t work. I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything, though. I downed it, and my heart was pounding, to the point that I just knew I was going to die. So I laid down in bed, pulled the covers over my head, turned on Relient K, and tried to go to […]
People used to tell me not to cry for someone, for they are not worth your tears. The one who was worth your tears would have never made you cry. I didn’t believe in that sh*t. I met this person, and fell madly in love with him because of how kind and caring he was. I was certain we would always be together, because we always talked about getting married and having kids. Mind you, I’m 16, and he’s 18. So yes, we were young. But I loved him. While we were together, I was constantly getting bombed by my all too perfect stepmother about […]
he started at 13
it got worse every year
i guess it was an escape from harsh reality
Â
she loved him with all her heart
she wasnt aware of his problem
she really cared
he didnt know how much
Â
he was 17
she got a phone call
he was going to jail
she finally saw
the intensity of his problem
Â
they didnt see each other for 6 months
she started to care a little less
they wrote
and called
but she was slipping away
slowly going downhill
he didnt know
that he was the source of her problems
Â
he came home
she was happy
he had changed
she was glad
he lied
she found out when they took him away
he didnt know how much it hurt her
to see him taken […]
I have created a website specifically for talking to someone, of course I am the only one operating the website so it may be kind of hectic for awhile. Just keep positive, and sending your thoughts.
The site is jaketalks.web.officelive.com
You need to use the e-mail jacob.major@stu.oldham.kyschools.us though. DON’T GIVE UP!
Love,
Jake
Took about 20 iron pills around 11:00pm yesterday from all the crap my parents put me through. I thought I would die in my sleep. Until I found out today I will die a slow death when I woke up today and researched it . I’m transitioning from stage one to 2 soon. It would take me about 3 days to die give or take if I’m not in a coma. Well it could take a week that I could die from an overdose. I told my mom after I woke up. She made me puke up everything several times after drinking loads of water. Though that […]
Every time I get a real good feeling about the right woman, I get shot down. Its always been “Your nothing”, “You don’t deserve her”, and such. And i’m really ready to just end my life. There’s no point in love or my life, im sick and tired of amounting to nothing. Being nothing is all I’ve ever been and all I ever will be. Every love has been a big f%#@ing dud, a flat line, another piece of me I just give away. I’ve been in this path of hate for 8 years now. And all its been is hate, anger, and depression. I see no point in […]
Ever since my mom died when i was 14 i’ve been depressed. I was a momma’s girl, i slept in the bed with her till i was 12. Alot of things happened to me as a child. My father left when i was 3 and I was molested by a friend of the family when i was 8. I remember being really shy as a child and scared of everyone and everything. I was constantly teased by my older sisters for being so cringy and i’d cry. Then one friday morning, after fighting a long battle of breast cancer, my mother died in her bedroom. When she died noone even acknowledged my presence. […]
I read. I read the stories.
I see. I see your problems.
You feel the pain for someone dieing, or getting abused. Loving someone that doesn’t love you back. Loving the devil them self?
You don’t die, not yet, you’re scarred.
Scarred of reactions. Pain. GOD. Most of you are scarred of GOD! The other half of you are scarred of what a family member will see. Don’t want them traumatized. Don’t want them to end up like you.
[…]