It never comes out right, never quite like it is in my head. I always come off like an angry, whiney freak when I try to explain to you how I feel. The truth is, I don’t think I’m actually an annoying person or a whiney one or even angry. I’m just sad, ya know? And stressed. Anxious. I’ve had a lot of messed up stuff happen in my life, much like most of you. I don’t think I am any better or worse. But I feel like I don’t belong here or anywhere. It’s like, I try to connect with someone, anyone, and it […]
Tag:
my life
So you may be thinking about opting out just as I was all through out my life. There were lots of times I just wanted to die. Why? Because at the time my thoughts about the world were different than they are now. Did my thoughts about the world in which we all live get better? Actually no they got worse. So why don’t I still want to off myself you ask? Because nature will do it for me at some point.
Let me explain a bit further. I have studied numerous religions and belief systems. […]
I’m reaching out for help. But I can’t find any. Cutting gets worse than ever before. And this feeling of hopelessness and grief as well, my anger is out of control but my parents in contrast desperately to control every single thing in my life. I’m getting crazy here. I need to change my damn surrounding, buy there is no way I could…
So I figure this question has been asked alot. But what would y’all do on ur last day on earth.?
I’ve thought about this alot, & what I come up with are things that im sure will remind me of how great the world can be. And then I will convince myself to not do it. Get in a slump some time in the future and want to cease to breath again. And once again play this whole freakin cycle over again. So I wonder if having a form of a bucket list is a good thing, or should one stay in the current […]
I’m done..
Is it rape?
Is is sexal abuse?
– I don’t know
Why?
Why dad?
Why you did this dad?
…yesternight
…tonight
You said you love me.
is that love?
You said I’m your angel.
just because I’m your angel?
You said “sorry”
sorry for what?
for the last five years?
that you ruin my life?
that it hurts so much every time?
that I don’t have a father?
Sorry for what?
I destroyed my life. And I wish to end it…
How dare you do this to me. If you wanted to die you should’ve done so by yourself, alone so you wouldn’t hurt anyone. Instead you fell in love with me, and made me fall in love with you.
You knew how badly I was hurt before. You knew I’d been abused, lost people, had people walk out on me or abandon me. You knew I was plagued by demons from my past. I thought I could trust you. You, of all people.
I can’t do anything without thinking of you. You’ve blighted my life with your loss. I just want to end things myself now. What […]
been a long time since i have suicidal thoughts going on through my mind . it seems like getting stronger each day . the scars on my wrist are getting deeper and deeper each day . and each day , I’m hating myself even more . every day i questioned myself why am i even alive . i just wished i can be died . be dead by losing a lot of blood or even eating a lot of pills so i overdosed . my life couldn’t get any worser . why am i alive . why is my life like this . i just […]
It’s almost midnight and I’m actively trying to recruit my friend to pick me up to drive me to a bar to drink with me… even though I have work tomorrow. So I’m writing this high on some weed I smoked with a complete stranger who I met at this group addiction meeting. I feel like a fuck up and a failure as my therapist runs the meeting and she let me go for free and I fucked things up.
The meeting really made me question my use of drugs but also made me so scared to be sober. I hate myself when I use drugs […]
I’m so sick of living my life
I’m so sick of hating myself.. I just want to be in peace.
So hopefully soon the voices inside my head will shut the fck up
I decided a while ago that self-hate is completely and utterly pointless. I don’t have any real reason to hate myself; neither does anyone else. You didn’t ask to come into this world. You were born, and you lived the life you did, and as much as you have free will, you are imperfect, and you will inevitably do stupid things. That’s not your fault. Your existence, no matter how good or bad you think it is, is not your fault. So try to redirect your self-hate. I, for example, choose instead to hate my life, not myself.
In hating my life instead, I often think […]
Lately I can’t stop feeling like this world is such a difficult place to be in. Obviously, it is, for like 90% of people. But, when I say it, I think so deeply about it. The overpopulation, unemployment, homelessness- so many good and intelligent people with no place to sleep, let alone work. And then I am here. Not necessarily privileged, but certainly more than many, having had a good education, enough money, and a place to live. Is that fair? Do I deserve what so many people could only dream to have.
I complain about this life, my life, and I can’t stop the misery I get […]
My head really hurts, stress out, depressed, I want to escape this reality. It has been a month since I locked up myself, not meeting anyone, watching movies and dramas for escaping this reality. Hoping I could change my life. I really hate when I wake up in the morning and have to get back to reality. I dont know how to solve this problem. I want to change my life and I have many regrets. I have no one to talk to. Crying alone in my room, hoping I could escape this reality.
I just feel defeated by life and at this point I’m seriously considering suicide. I’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts six years now but I feel so overwhelmed now by my life. Everybody thinks I’m of no importance and I’m threatened and ridiculed and bullied because I’m an effeminate guy and more so my mother seems uncomfortable to be seen in public with me. nothing is left for me but death and rest
It’s been years since I posted. My first post was when I was a sophomore in high school I think. I’m finishing up my second year in college now.
I guess being suicidal and severely depressed never goes away even when things change. I was a year clean from self harm. It’s all starting again.
I ve crossed the border as I was afraid it would happen one day. Tried to work so hard on my exams but then everything went out of control. Couldn think, it was to painful, so I overmedicated in order to sleep. But when I woke up everything was still the same and thought I know my life has gotten a little better can t handle it anymore. So I guess that s more or less the end and it s a shame but as nothings works anymore, my life is even emptier as my death will.
Hi guys. It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I have pretty much been doing the ‘keepgoingandhopeitgetsbetter’ thing. You know- putting off til tomorrow what I don’t really have to do today. There have been a couple new developments in my life.
For the past twelve months I’ve been staying with my parents again. Yes, I’ve been on my own since 20 and have now, after some major life events, had to swallow my pride and move back in, in my 30s. Well, finally my patience has been rewarded and in a few weeks I’ll be moving back into a place of my own.
I’ve also started […]
I’ve only posted on here so many times but I’ve never really gotten deep into how I feel or what my life is like, mainly because I know nobody cares, but right now, things are so hard and I just really really wanna kill myself. The days are emotions range, I’m never truly happy though. I don’t think I can be happy on this earth anymore. Not until I leave it but I’m just at a really awful point right now and I don’t know what I’m looking for I just want to kill myself and feel so incredibly alone it’s awful.
I am sorry for literally everything upsetting I have done in my life. I keep screwing everything up for everyone, and I’m sorry. I won’t let people help me, and I’m sorry. If this letter of self-pity is terribly written, I’m sorry.
I always say I’m sorry about everything, and I don’t think anyone believes me. I promise that I truly am. So, if someone who knows me for the worthless mass of pity that I am, I’m sorry.
I’m probably gonna screw myself over tonight, and with any luck, I won’t wake up in the morning. I […]
I’m honestly sorry anyone’s even attempting to read this load of self-pity.
Am I really just a dog? I can’t be, my family likes dogs. So what does that make me? My brother and sister both talk to me as if I were a dog. My parents stand by and either continue it, or tell me to stop being such a baby about it. I know that at the end of the day, I am nothing and furthermore that my family sees me and recognizes the same thing; I am worthless.
I’ve honestly got the best friends I […]