Tag:

panic

Goodmorning…

by Ylem 3/11/2016

written by Ylem

It’s morning this side and I’m on my way to the hospital. I haven’t been on here for a while now. I missed you guys.

Anyway, thought I’d share something that happened to me last Saturday.

My parents organized for our church members to come to my house and pray for me. My entire family knows about my condition now and they are very supportive. Anyway, so these guys were praying. In that moment, I had flashes of my brother and the people who killed them who were also proclaimed christians. I guess this fucked up my head a little and I had a panic attack. Church […]

3/11/2016 4 comments

Back To College

by JiminyCrispies 3/1/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

I had to go to college today. I was in from 1 to 5. It was the same lesson for the entire four hours, so it wasn’t as stressful as when classes switch. I was stuck on a table with the whole class (it’s small, only 10 of us and all girls), so my anxiety and paranoia was almost unbearable.

After meeting with my personal tutor yesterday, I’m allowed to leave lessons whenever I need to for as long as I need to. I wanted to every minute of class, but my anxiety stopped me and so did the fact that I knew I would just […]

3/1/2016 5 comments

Talking to no one in the middle of the night

by Cordless 3/1/2016

written by Cordless

Since it is two in the morning here, I realize this is probably the worst possible time to be here expecting any sort of answer.

I’ve noticed there’s an “evening group” which is usually here from about 7:00 to midnight or so, and then there’s (as Douglas Adams might put it), a “long, dark tea-time of the soul” for a handful of hours until the “morning group” arrives around 5:00 or so.

Because of internet connectivity issues, I missed the usual evening time-shift and didn’t get here til about midnight or so.

This means my insomniac self mostly has an inactive page for most of the night.

Originally I […]

3/1/2016 70 comments

Looking in the mirror and saying to myself

by Lacalamity 2/29/2016

written by Lacalamity

“somewhere something horrible happens to someone on this earth and I am here.”

I started to think what makes me really sad, to know that people are forced to do things they don’t want, like children getting beat up because they blasphemed, men who are send to die against their will, women forced into submission by their own kin. And the list goes on and on, and I feel how this feels,I saw this things, and just thinking about this makes me so strange, kinda a mix between rage, fear, panic, a horrible feeling. And I don’t know how to cope with it, am I too […]

2/29/2016 2 comments

College Tomorrow

by JiminyCrispies 2/28/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

The panic has started to set in again as my mum has repeatedly mentioned that I have to go back to college tomorrow.

Despite threatening to not even go into the building, she’s still insistent that I go. She warned me about if my personal tutor rings her again if I’m not in. I can’t go in. The Others are still there. They’re in my class, and I’ll die if I go in. I’ve ran out of excuses to stay off.

I’ve had multiple panic attacks this weekend just thinking about going in. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I need to get out of […]

2/28/2016 3 comments

Chemistry Of the Mind

by EtiLamb 2/27/2016

written by EtiLamb

Oh, I have reached my boiling point. My mood is so damn dynamic, yet it never graces a joyful moment or happiness in any capacity. I can mildly entertain myself, but it’s coupled with an anhedonia that leaves me feeling bland and unnatural. I am sick of my meds, seems they only worked for roughly a week, and due to diminished returns eventually my brain chemistry adapted leaving me with raw shitty emotions. I get endless anger; I am a ball of nerves. I desperately want stability, yet every damned minute my mood fluctuates. So exhausted right now.

What do you do to get yourselves out of […]

2/27/2016 3 comments

Insane? Like in the membrane?

by red_river 2/24/2016

written by red_river

I haven’t posted in a while and I don’t respond to shit so I’d understand if everyone just waves this off. I’ve been hearing voices for a while now first I thought it was me just being stupid and it wasn’t constantly so I ignored it. I thought it was my subconscious for a while but then it got worse and I keep getting sharp headaches which follows by the voices. I still don’t know if it’s me just acting stupid or if this is genuine, but they keep getting worse and worse telling me to kill myself or to hurt others. I use to […]

2/24/2016 4 comments

Wind and Panic

by Cordless 2/19/2016

written by Cordless

Today it is very windy.

Strong winds give me panic attacks, and here’s why:

About 15 years ago a windstorm destroyed my home in the middle of the night. It ripped off the roof while I was in bed sleeping. I heard this horrible loud ripping sound, and I rolled over in bed, still in sleepy confusion.

Instead of my ceiling above me, I saw stars.

The wind had this constant ROAR, and it just wasn’t stopping.

I couldn’t turn on the lights, because the windstorm had knocked out the power earlier that evening.

So there I was, in total darkness, trapped in a windstorm, in a home with no roof.

I […]

2/19/2016 60 comments

Going to get food…

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/14/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

That i don’t actually need. But im useless. I’ll never have a meaningful experience with a woman. Why? Part anxiety. Part social ineptitude, mostly consistent negative reinforcement. I am simply not attractive enough. When i did approach women i had to consistently risk and have panic attacks for the opportunity to put a lot of effort into someone who didnt give a quarter of a squirt of piss about me. Id get lied to or disparangingly “accepted” Occasionally id get a one off pity lay. The fuck could possibly the point. I’ve been working out for about a month and trying to diet. The fuck […]

2/14/2016 0 comment

Triple S Part 1

by Alan Ominous 2/12/2016

written by Alan Ominous

Dale swerved his car drunkenly up his long sloped driveway, barely stopping before the big oak tree at the top. He stumbles out of his car, barely able to find his own legs. His family dog, Conroy, lays coward while tethered to the porch. Conroy’s tail tucks underneath him as he whimpers, sensing the state of of Dales condition.
“Shut up mutt” Dale slurs, approaching the dog in an aggressive, albeit staggering motion.
Suddenly flashes and streaks stream around in a whirlwind. Somehow louder than a sonic boom but quieter than a whisper. Conroy’s gone. Dale mumbles, rubbing his eyes. Still no Conroy.
Thinking he’s […]

2/12/2016 2 comments

An Introduction

by NicoleK 2/11/2016

written by NicoleK

Hi, I’m Nicole. I’m sorry that you’re here, but I’m also glad that you understand.

I would never consider death if there weren’t so many barriers to survival. I mean, many of those barriers are within myself, but there doesn’t seem to be much help to fix those things. I have tried counseling and talking with friends and praying (which I very much believe in), but I still feel wretched. I just can’t handle failure or any kind of mistake, really. It comes from years of abuse and others’ harsh reactions to childhood mistakes. Now, I react to failure in a way that resembles muscle memory. […]

2/11/2016 15 comments

So positive social experiment

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/10/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

Just tried some impromptu exposure therapy. I have pretty severe anxiety. I cant remember the last time i did something as simple as shop at multiple places without having full out or precursor panic attack. Im pretty happy so far today I went to multiple places without being anxious. Gotta take the simple small victories when you get them.

2/10/2016 4 comments

Extremely freaked out… Please help!

by WhatisTruth 2/3/2016

written by WhatisTruth

Is anyone of you suffering from anxiety?

Well, I’m a pretty lucky person to get various psychological disorders such as anxiety, OCD, panic disorder, etc.

From many days, I am experiencing the weakness in the left part of my body (left leg, arm, left part of face).

I think it may be because of anxiety, but the symptoms are getting worse day-by-day.

And recently, the left part of my body has become so weak that I am afraid I’ll get a stroke or something..

I am really freaked out and extremely terrified..

If anyone has similar experience, please share so that I can get relief.

2/3/2016 10 comments

Why

by God_Forsaken 2/1/2016

written by God_Forsaken

I’m 19 and have a full time job as an apprentice in a good company. That’s about the only positive thing in my life. I have just moved into a new house. With my family. With my psychotic, alcoholic mother that beats me, screams at me. I’m the one that moved us in. I’m crying in my new room because she baught vodka while my dad and brother were out. I took it away and threw it away. So she beat me. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years last week because my depression has prevented me from being happy for many months […]

2/1/2016 1 comment

I made a mistake

by Lawli 1/20/2016

written by Lawli

So tonight I was bored and everyone on a forums I hang out on was logged of so I went down to our living room and sat with my parents; that was the mistake.

The result was my Dad being sexist and complaining and dissing people constantly, both parent complaining and looking down on me and my brother. They both started lecturing us and they never say anything good about anyone. My head ended up getting messed up and I started to panic so I left, trying to act casual. I felt so stuffed after that I ended up cutting myself and even more than usual, […]

1/20/2016 3 comments

I am a screw up and trying makes it worse

by Lost1111 1/13/2016

written by Lost1111

This is my first post and I am in a horrible place. I tapered off all of my psych medications in 2014-2015 and am still in Post Acute Withdrawal. On top of that, I’m just a messed up person and I have been all of my life. I just need to vent, if that’s okay.

I am clueless at how to function in any aspect of life. My taxes are messed up, which is a huge trigger for me right now. I inadvertently have messed up my taxes in different ways for years now. One year I forgot income because my financial advisor switched companies and […]

1/13/2016 9 comments

And I cry

by mranony 1/4/2016

written by mranony

1/4/2016 5 comments

I’m Exhausted

by Dungeon 12/30/2015

written by Dungeon

Everyday is the same. I can’t sleep, I sit in bed trying to remember why I even do this anymore. When I get up I’m in pain and I shut myself in this little prison I’ve made of my room. I’m truly alone, I don’t exist to anyone.

When no one is home sometimes I’ll stare out my front windows and wonder what it’s like being those people that walk around with friends without having to worry about panic attacks or breakdowns. I’ve tried an extensive amount of medications and none of them help, they usually give me bad side effects too.

I can’t afford a therapist […]

12/30/2015 5 comments

Grrrrr !!…

by jadedkeizy 12/27/2015

written by jadedkeizy

I swear I could have blown my brains out this evening if I had a Gun in my vicinity. Damn, I got a bad panic attack and everything around me became a blur, migraines etc I hate these Panic Attacks … Not sure they are a result of me trying to wean myself off of meds…

Uhmm, I mean to ask …. Has anyone here on SP ever Over Dosed on Anti-depressants ???

12/27/2015 2 comments

Ruined

by JiminyCrispies 12/26/2015

written by JiminyCrispies

Despite the fact that I hate Christmas, I was somewhat having a reasonably okay day yesterday. That was until my biological dad decided to harass my mother and I during the afternoon. After not hearing from him in 6 months, he sent awful messages to us about how I’m a disappointment and useless (after understanding how bad my mental state is when he first got back into contact, he decided he couldn’t cope and thought it was best to tell me how he’s better off without someone as ‘insane’ and ‘unstable’ as me). After getting no response from myself and minimal from my mother, he […]

12/26/2015 2 comments

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