Don’t waste your time reading this post, unless you have the time and/or actually want to waste it. I’m writing this because sometimes I just need to let it all out. So the first thing I wanted to go on about is people. This is all in accordance to me and my bitching about everything and my opinions and feelings from personal or non-personal experiences. So, I shall shut up and begin now. Sometimes, I fucking hate people. Sometimes they suck. Not always, I’ve known some that have had a few not too sucky moments, but for the most part.. For me, people always leave […]
what my math teacher wrote on my math test, which I got back today with about a 70%. a couple days ago I got a 52% on an english quiz I didn’t know we were having for the reading I forgot was assigned. he’s right, of course, because I usually pay attention pretty well no matter how wrecked my mental state is. he is right because I can do so much better. I have had straight A’s all year, but this term I’m just hoping against hope to pass. it’s not even that I am doing that much worse than I have been, it’s just that […]
I’m writing this post to challenge you guys. There’s a lot of sad and hopeless posts as of recent and I am writing tonight in attempts to help. I feel like I can actually see past the dreary cloudy day today and you might just be reading this thinking, well good for you but I don’t. That’s why I want to challenge you to think of one good moment today or recently. Think about how you felt in that moment and if you want share it in the comments. For me, I’m happy because I made really good healthy food choices today while grocery shopping, […]
So… I’ve been made an offer.
My aunt and uncle who live in Illinois called tonight and mom was telling them about college and stuff down here (I’m in Georgia.) My aunt, who is in college to be a nurse, told us about the college up there… and honestly, it sounds so much better than the one I am currently in.
Well, they offered to let me live with them and even offered to help me with getting grants and paying for things and all of that as long as I stay in college. Wow, is honestly all I can think. I was talking to my mom […]
Hey cordless, I was reading some of the previous post and seen the one you did about your claw ring and had to say that it is a very cool ring, I had a close bro give me the exact same ring about 20 years ago, this one was made out of brass ( of all things ) the funny thing is that I still have it all this time later. When I read your post and seen the ring I looked for mine and found it, along with some other stuff I have forgotten about. Thanks bringing back some really cool […]
Weekends are the worst, I use to come home and cry, now i just lay in the bed and the strangest part is my mind is blank, no thoughts, my eyes open and i just lay here while the world goes about itself, im becoming numb, lonelieness in all honesty the worst feeling in the entire only, its similar too that of losing someone or something you love, its a feeling of utter hoplessness, im scared to death i may never be happy again, i’ll never meet someone who loves me, i’ll never have a normal social life,
I went to the mall today like […]
Hey everyone, new and old SP members. I know its hard for you guys right now. But do me a favor and keep fighting. Im fighting too.
I’ve recently been into reading much more than I usually am. There’s this author, Paulo Coelho who seems to understand everything its crazy and be able to express exactly what i think and feel in his work. I don’t know what your situations are, but I really want you guys to consider no read these books. Im not saying they will change your life immediately. but they will definitely have you thinking, and acknowledging and growing.
I know a lot […]
I just found an article about a 13 years old boy that died close to where I live. The article was sketchy and seemed to be leaving too much out but had no trouble describing the boys mother holding his life less body rocking back and forth in the ditch. At first I thought maybe he got hit by a car….but the article would have just said that, why leave that out? I thought more on it, the kid killed himself. I found another article that confirmed it. The whole article was deeply disturbing as it described how the kids on the school bus saw […]
I hope this to be my last post ever on this website. For me, things did not get better. I know now that they will not get better. Anytime something good ever happens to me, it gets taken away from me. It is always a matter of time before something knocks my happiness off course. I hope tomorrow I can end my life. I pray for it. My parents will be working and it my perfect chance to end it all. Maybe sometime this week. Even though things did not get better for me, it may get better for whomever is reading this. Stay strong. […]
I didnt wake up feeling so down about the fact theres another day ahead of me, in fact the first thing I did when I woke up was think of you lot and see what new things you’ve posted! I know im only new and haven’t interacted with many of you but I want to let you all know the impact you’ve all had on me, to see we’re not alone and how kind hearted we all are to go out of our way to support one another. No one makes us listen or read what we have to say, we do it because we’re […]
I keep thinking about what I might’ve done in my past to deserve a life like this, and I realized that I screwed up alot, nothing really intentionally. So by my account I should be even with the house, debt paid in full. It seems that not the case, so now I’m beginning to wonder if this is just the hand I’ve been dealt and I just gotta play it out ??? Like I said, I’m no angel but as an adult I’ve grown and always tried to learn from my mistakes, I try to help, and give, […]
I am a person who needs a lot of guidece.
I’m reading a book by Gandhi.
I’m reading a red letter edition of the NIV Bible.
I’m keeping a journal and I write whatever comes to my mind and tear out what I don’t like.
I often just nod or shake my head when I’m asked a question.
I can’t come up with a reason to go through the struggle again. I haven’t had an intimate relationship in more than 5 years.
I was married for 20 years, but she wanted to start over by herself.
I have a 20 year old daughter who only messages me when I send her money. She doesn’t answer her phone, and doesn’t reply to texts… Unless there was money involved.
I just got laid off from my job. I’m too old to start over. I’ve done it too many times. What for? To see who wins the election? That doesn’t matter… To see the next movie or show? What […]
you know when you already know that your life is going to end prematurely not sure when but you know deep down it will happen sooner or later because life isn’t for you and you have no plans for life either and your drifting though each day and it’s getting harder and harder to bare and you sit there thinking why didn’t my first attempts work and since then your trying to find a more successful method but it’s hard to choose which way you would like to go out hoping u find the courage to go though with it
when I was a teen I […]
You finally messaged me back after a year of avoiding me. I’ve contacted you contless times in the last year’s span. To never hear back from you until now. I’m reading your message and I’m happy for you. I want to know about everything you’ve endoured. How you became the person you are now. What it took. Im glad that I got you there. I’m glad that I affected your life that positively. I’m happy for you Jordan. I’m happy that you replied back this time after so long. We are like each others drug. Relapsing in time.
Sincerely,
Brianna.
So it’s been a while since I’ve commented or posted on here. Before I found SP I felt worthless, purposeless and like a failure. I’ve failed at everything I’ve attempted in my life, but when it came to being there for you guys I felt like I meant something. Like I could actually help people like me. However, when those thoughts start to whirl around in my mind every negative, demonic energy creeps up and tells me why I’ll never be worth it and while I’ll never make a difference. I’ve always felt as if I was in search of something, something fulfilling. I’m not […]
I’ve been reading this site for a few weeks but this is my first post. In a lot of ways, I wish I could go back to when I was little, when I spent most of my time alone in my room reading or solving number puzzles or making up stories. Before there was any pressure to socialize or compromise endlessly or impress others in general.
I spent most of my childhood blocking out my emotions. Criticism and rejection have always been very, very painful. It often feels like I’m walking around in a shooting video game except everyone else has armor or shields and I don’t. […]
I finally joined after a few days of reading what people have written, which isn’t much different from what I want to say. I have had thoughts of suicide, I’ve actually been very close to committing suicide, I stopped myself from that one time, I held a knife that was digging into my neck. The only reason why i stopped was because of the effects on my family. I think of suicide everyday now, it’s becoming worse. Now i cut my wrists. I sit in my room alone and I cut myself, every cut I would make I would have tears in my eyes, and […]
12 hours left.
I managed to shower and get ready for my test. I put make up on. I did my hair. Im wearing normal clothes. This is a big accomplishment for me today. For everyone reading and replying, thank you. Im sorry that I will be posting a lot. Like I said. Im a book. This is my final chapter. And I want it to be rememberable.
I thank creater for helping me to post what I feel, who are here also people same as me. Who went, running through lowest points. I appreciate your comments for my older posts. But after one year I can’t exactly tell I’m fine. I surely need your help till my death. Thanks for reading.
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