Tag:

real me

Just checking in

by kismet 5/8/2016

written by kismet

Hi guys. It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I have pretty much been doing the ‘keepgoingandhopeitgetsbetter’ thing. You know- putting off til tomorrow what I don’t really have to do today. There have been a couple new developments in my life.

For the past twelve months I’ve been staying with my parents again. Yes, I’ve been on my own since 20 and have now, after some major life events, had to swallow my pride and move back in, in my 30s. Well, finally my patience has been rewarded and in a few weeks I’ll be moving back into a place of my own.

I’ve also started […]

5/8/2016 3 comments

Protected: Liar

by Dungeon 4/27/2016

written by Dungeon

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

4/27/2016 6 comments

woke up for what?

by kupo95 4/25/2016

written by kupo95

so today I woke up and wondered why should I …nothing for me to do I’m not making any money today I’m gonna cook and clean and get fuck so, I’m upset.. so when my great husband *sarcastically said * ask why I’m so upset I said do I have any reason to be happy… he said * now this was fucking rich * “try harder I’m not happy either i have no car no money you need to WORK HARDER so wipe that look off your face” I can’t even be upset when I want to how can I not be fake with […]

4/25/2016 5 comments

steps

by Alan Ominous 3/17/2016

written by Alan Ominous

http://14572.greatrv.net/mobile/vehicle/24473042

That’s the home I got my heart set on. It’s affordable. It’s luxurious. It’s all Alan.

Side note, is it odd I feel Alan is the real me and my real name is just my “username” for the real world?

I’m trying to build myself up. Trying to stay focused. I’m trying to reach out for help. I see every step as do or die.

The negative backlash from my spouse is maniacal. From bawling she loves me, to fine just go now, to just kill yourself… yet she acknowledges her inconsistency, she still fails to understand how years of being abused has worn me.

So, mentally she’s […]

3/17/2016 32 comments

Ranting Bullshit.

by DarkDestroyer 3/5/2016

written by DarkDestroyer

My counselor told me that I need to spend time with people, that I’m alone too much. So I’ve been trying to spend time with people, people at school, people at work. I’ve been planning stuff with buddies and spending a lot of time with people who I can call buddies. The problem is that I still don’t feel right. See, before this I was always down and depressed and alone, but when I wasn’t alone I would sometimes (rarely) talk about my pain to people who I kind of trust (I don’t trust very much or very often), and I would feel this connection […]

3/5/2016 1 comment

somethings .!

by jano.11 12/8/2015

written by jano.11

i am totally alone and lonely .. I have no friends at all have no one to talk to or to see or anything else
I’ve lost all my friends for my boyfriend who had left me .. alone !
today wasn’t any better than the last whole YEAR and a half .! duh.!
I want to do something to be alive but I have nothing in mind
I want to be new when 2016 comes
I want it to be a new year not another copy of 2013 becouse after 2013 all the years was just a worst copies of it .! I want […]

12/8/2015 4 comments

cause it’s like,

by tphg 9/16/2015

written by tphg

I could be her friend if I really wanted to, but I’d have to wear a costume, and those aren’t very comfortable after a while. You start to sweat and the built up perspiration makes it muggy inside and so it gets hard to breathe; it’s a whole ordeal. I’d get to know her, but she’d never get to know the real me, and I want so badly for someone to see and accept me for who I really am. I could be her friend, but it wouldn’t be real. It’d be real enough for her, sure, but what it would amount to is a […]

9/16/2015 7 comments

Protected: Let Me Breathe My True Self

by killswitchon 9/11/2015

written by killswitchon

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

9/11/2015 7 comments

by neptune 9/5/2015

written by neptune

i’ve tried. i really did. i gave everyone around me at least one chance to try and help me. but no one actually bothered. and i can’t tell anyone, because i feel fidgety whenever i tell anyone. because of all sorts of things. i’m detached from the world, i don’t have any true friends who will be there with me 24/7, even in front of my closer friends, i still have to pretend. why? because i’m scared they will all run away the moment they see all my flaws. i’m scared that once people see the real me, they won’t want to be […]

9/5/2015 5 comments

I Killed Her Dream Girl and Lost My Own

by pizzakitchen 9/2/2015

written by pizzakitchen

Up until I hit middle school, I like to think I was a normal kid. A little shy, but I had friends and liked myself. I didn’t know it was possible to dislike yourself.

My middle and high school years have their own stories to them, but I’ll share them another time. Basically, wearing glasses, having acne, and I guess just something about my personality in general marked me as a target in middle school. My high school years were spent avoiding any sort of attention, even though I looked a lot different and likely wouldn’t have been made fun of anymore. I was terrified of […]

9/2/2015 4 comments

Please, please read. Fuck your opinions. I love you.(Bipolar?)

by FeelingFunny 8/29/2015

written by FeelingFunny

Never been so low, didnt know. That I could fall so far covered in scars. Caused by the drugs I use, I abuse. Shit. It wasnt written in the stars its the life I choose. Whats it to you? If I hurt myself, nobody else, self destruct. Fuck health. Aint no one got time for that…So, Ima grab another sack. Lay back and pray I never wake up. Cause I cant get my cake up, while starin in the face of, this dark hearted demon, i just feel like leaving, everything ive known everytime that Im fiendin. No sleepin no eatin, barely even human. Constant […]

8/29/2015 8 comments

New People – Grimly Poetic and Romantic

by ifuckedthequeen 8/22/2015

written by ifuckedthequeen

I need new people with a fresh perspective in my life specifically to do with transgender issues. I’m so headfucked over this obviously it’s almost driving me to suicide once again. I’m in a dead end in Victoria with nothing but despair and self hatred. No money (which is fine), no friends (cool), no dreams (the kicker). All my dreams died with my old self dying. I don’t want anything anymore. I don’t care about anything anymore. The only person I care about I have intense love hate cycles towards and she knows this. So every little thing she does triggers rage attacks.

I want to […]

8/22/2015 17 comments

whats so special??

by lissbabe 8/1/2015

written by lissbabe

Me, myself was a very unfortuante person because I wasn’t the most popular girl in school, however when leaving school I was the most popular girl there and everyone wanted to be like me or be dating me. Yet when I was wishing to be like the popular kids I didnt realise how much they hated it, when I started being popular I loved it but I found out that I was missing the real me, I was like what people call a *****. Yet those wasn’t my intentions, however I don’t live in regret because I don’t regret anything in my life and this […]

8/1/2015 4 comments

life is ending

by unknownloner 7/20/2015

written by unknownloner

This is my first post on this website. Today has been horrible all I could think today was suicide or run away somewhere. All I was thinking today was suicide mostly. Never thought of that. I’ve been depressed most my life and I haven’t really opened up to people or anyone I know in particular. Everyone knows me by the happy sunshine girl but no one knows who the real me is. Anyways going to back of what I was thinking about suicide and running away is because my mom told me that she shouldve had an abortion because she didn’t know she would hate […]

7/20/2015 3 comments

A War Inside…

by theunknownxx 7/14/2015

written by theunknownxx

I’m struggle to let the real me be free and not be this person who I am now that is consumed with anger and resentment, negativity, and ignorance. I’m trying hard to be a better person, I want to be kind to others and be nicer to my parents, but it’s hard when people around me treat me poorly and when my parents don’t respect me and put me down. How am I suppose to be the person I want to be when I’m surrounded by negativity, judgements, and downers? I feel like taking my antidepressants again, even though they make me feel like […]

7/14/2015 4 comments

Too beautiful to be sad?

by Broke girl 7/10/2015

written by Broke girl

I want to be shot but I don’t want to die. I don’t want to end up paralyzed either. I am in a financial bind so I don’t have any money to pay you. Here’s my story: I’m utterly depressed. People tell me I’m too beautiful to be so sad. I’m 26 and everyone says I look just like Sarah Hyland. … In fact that’s all they seem to notice. No one knows how intelligent I am because they can’t get past my looks. My face seems to be all anyone cares about… They don’t want to know they real me. And when people finally […]

7/10/2015 12 comments

It Hurts

by thehusk 7/1/2015

written by thehusk

I think I may have cancer. I found what could be a lump. Of course it could be lots of others things. Or nothing at all. The rational thing would be to get it checked out. But a part of me thinks ‘If it is cancer, then that’s for the best. Let it spread.’ It would be a way out. I wouldn’t have to commit suicide. I wouldn’t have to do that to my parents. They wouldn’t be left with all the anger, confusion, and bitterness that suicide brings. There’d still be grief, but they could find closure and move on. I could talk to […]

7/1/2015 8 comments

Lost out of time

by Katki 6/19/2015

written by Katki

I’ve never felt like I fit in – lost in a crowded room..
At school I was painfully shy – I wear a mask so no one knows the real me.
But the strangest feeling I’ve had since I can remember is that I feel like I just don’t belong here. Like maybe I was born in the wrong century or country.. I can’t explain it any better than that, but I feel so lost and like I don’t want to be here anymore – Its like I remember something, or someone and I miss them and desperately want to be with them again – […]

6/19/2015 2 comments

I just want to feel.

by abct123 6/16/2015

written by abct123

I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. I feel like I drown my sorrows in medial mindless activity just to by because I just can’t bring myself to do anything different. I’m so scared of what would happen if I broke the norm that I am afraid to go against it, just blending in to wherever I happen to be. I constantly destroy every relationship because I’m so overwhelmed in trying to give them everything they want that I eventually push them away. I just feel like I don’t know how to socialize and am constantly depressed whenever I go out just wanting to […]

6/16/2015 1 comment

my old self

by worthless_loser 73 5/24/2015

written by worthless_loser 73

Haven’t posted in a long time. Been busy making preparations for my next (hopefully last) attempt at ending it all. Lately have had time to only read a few posts and leave a comment or two.

I was thinking earlier how long it has been since the last time I can remember being myself. Not this broken down version I have become. The old me. The real me. The human me. Not the zombie I have been the last year.

Those of you that have followed my posts, know my story well. My ex-fiancée and her kids abandoned me and erased me from their lives. She went […]

5/24/2015 12 comments

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