Right, this is my first post on this site. I’m 16, Cliche angsty teenager. Depressed, Anxious, Low Self esteem, paranoid etc. The full package basically. Recently my parents have discovered about the cutting (and have guessed about the depression from that), and are trying to force me into counselling because of it. I’ve been to counselling before for anxiety, but it did sweet fuck all. Question is, do I do it again? I feel like it would be helpful, because, like everyone else here, I’ve tried to kill myself, and do genuinely want to get better, but can’t see a way of doing it by […]
Tag:
Self Esteem
My aunty is visiting me before I leave for college, and she is the prettiest of my mom’s siblings because she uses the most makeup and she is the “beauty expert”. The only downside to this is that she cares way too much about her looks and comments on other peoples’ too. I was at the mall with her today with one of my other family members, and she kept talking about how much smaller she is than I am, yet she still has more than double my breast size. She kept saying comments during dinner (we ate saucy chicken wings from her favorite restaurant) about […]
So, I have self confidence and self esteem issues and I’ve recently been looking for a job. This would be my first professionally employed thing and I can’t seem to gain the confidence to apply anywhere. I’ve managed to ask for applications and fill them out decently with only a few mild anxiety attacks but can never turn them in. A lot of this is centered around a fear of rejection mostly, but I also have problems talking positively about myself or “selling myself” like I would have to in an interview or on applications. I either fill things out as honestly as I feel […]
I wish i had either i just want to eat all day every day. And David Bowie is dead? Really WTF? Hes a fucking genius!!!
Edit:I hate seeing this disgusting detestable ogre staring me back in the mirror. Its easy to shovel in more food when you’re already a fat pig and you’re perpetually suicidal. Also, fucking Ziggy Stardust is dead. Things are not hunky dory. Im under pressure to lose weight and get a better job and i feel low.
I guess I was never meant to be born and live. My mom was an addict and she had this brief fling with my dad, they weren’t in love, she didn’t have a job and she was an addict. I wish she would have aborted me. But she didn’t. I was born at 7 months, probably due to her injecting God only knows what.
ALL my life I was MISERABLE, my childhood wasn’t that bad but as soon as I went to middle school people started bullying me, telling me I was ugly, that I looked like an ape, that I was hideous. And I was […]
Hey guys, I’m a new-comer to this forum.
Hello,
I have recently set a Death Clock for myself, the end of December. At which time, I will decide whether or not to commit suicide with my gun.
I’m twenty-two years old, never smoked, used drugs, and can count all the drinks that I’ve ever had on two hands.
I’ve never been abused or experienced anything overly traumatic; however, I isolated myself when I grew up which I believe helped to instill low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. I also have or fairly awful memory, which may be in part to the depression, since I studied hard in school and college, […]
September 10, 2013
As this may be the last year of my life, I am posting this confession, if you will, to explain why I might commit suicide sometime between June-November of 2014. It’s way out there in mid to late 2014 and not now because I’m giving myself a last chance to succeed. I’m old now, I’ve had 3 health crises in the last 3 years, and my finances, while sufficient for the next 2 years, are not enough to carry me through a long retirement. At this point, given my health, depressed mental condition, and the odds of achieving a major financial reversal […]
I started thinking about the fact that I’m different. By that, I mean that I don’t have any friends at all, and I’m always alone. I’m antisocial because I never had any social skills, not even when I a kid, my mom literally needed to push me out of the house so I could go out and make friends. Making friends was always the hardest thing to do because I was affraid of people and I was affraid they wouldn’t like me. I don’t like people at all – I always have that one tought that everyone is stupid and boring. I also have a […]
I thought I would be okay, but in three day’s time, I had another accident.
A few days ago, I slit my wrist up. Never deep enough to kill, but just enough sting to get the point across. I padded it up and wrapped an ace bandage around it, claiming I just sprained it. No one at work questioned it, my boyfriend didn’t say anything outright about it. It’s hard to keep things from him though. So I told him. He grabbed my wrist and took a glance. He said my name, which sounded so… Off. It doesn’t feel right when he says it. It […]
Strength. Courage. Love. Happiness.
I thought I was strong, but these past few days have shown me otherwise. I’ve slowly been changing each and every day…and not for the better.
A few years ago, I used to be suicidal. I would only wake up in the mornings to think about death, cutting, and hatred. I hated the world around me and it hated me back. I had accepted that. I got no support from friends or family surrounding me so I had learned to depend on only myself. It took a few years, but I was able to get past all this. I had finally believed that I […]
It hurts the way you ignore me
You put me on the edge hoping i drift away from you
Im always with you,
My only regret in life was sharing something beautiful with you.
You betrayed me let me fall and rust and disintegrate.
Now im dead, not in body but soul
I will hunt your conscience for the things you did, and for the things
you didnt.
Do you know how it feels to disintegrate over several years of pain and suffering?
Now im empty, filled only with the pain of old and new. My destiny seems to be
pain.crying.anxiety.hate.regret.suicide. Today,tomorrow,forever.
The pain fill my […]
Hey, Im kind of new to this so probably wont explain myself very well. This is actually the first time Ive ever talked about this to anyone if this even counts. Anyways im not sure how I even ended up here I feel like im wasting who ever reads this’ time. I dont want pity I used to do a bit of counseling as a youth worker so I know all the lines like “life is potential death is that potential gone”, I know how to help others I just cant help myself. I dont want pity or sympathy just a logical reason and some […]
I’ve been thinking about dying a lot. For some reason that makes me feel better. Things haven’t been good lately. My life is really pleasant on the surface, I’m doing the things I want to do and have a mostly supportive family. But then I have horrible self-esteem and I just end up in the worst situations and it’s really my own fault.
I am really devastated over this thing that happened recently with my boyfriend. I was away for a few months, volunteering at a school in a really remote place and making a documentary, and while I was gone he cheated on me. I […]
I’m so ugly. So fat. I can’t help but feel naked without my make up on. I feel ashamed to go out in public. Like people will laugh at me and call me names. I feel bad for people who have to look at me all the time, I’m sorry. I’m 5’4 and 173 pounds, I’m huge. I need to stop eating my feelings. Why does everyone have to be so mean though? I’m so nice to everyone else and all I get in return is getting called emo, slut, whore, fatass, ****… like what the fuck man? And then my friends parents accuse me […]
I’m not sure why I feel compelled to share my story, but for whatever reason I’m not sure I can stop myself from typing these words. But I will try to keep to details to a minimum and will just cover the most important aspects to keep this short. In high school I was an introverted nerd, but the first year actually turned out to the best, and it was only downhill from there. I had large ears and a stutter, the latter of which would often limit the conversations and connections and I could have with other people. In grade eight I started to […]
My boyfriend and I have had a relationship for 9 years. It has had it’s wonderful moments.. but it has had many bad ones too. I get so angry with him for his lack of care and concern. I’ve thrown him out recently and now I feel as though my entire world is gone. I have no desire to even want to wake up! EVER AGAIN! All i have ever wanted was his love. I’ve had people tell me he loves me. I’ve heard hims say it. But I have not felt it in such a very long time. […]
I wrote a post on here earlier this week saying should I tell the people who bullied me how I wasn’t going to do it but after talking with a friend of mine she gave me a valid point and said: i think this is a really good idea you have to speak out b/c a lot of people whose being bullied or bullied don’t really speak out and they hide their feelings inside and no one really know the whole truth and if you do it at least you did something to prevent this from happening to other people and that this took courage. I did […]
I feel really down right now  and bad Monday is coming and I can just feel all my stress creeping up on me like life is going to end. I feel really ugly right now and my self-esteem is real low.
*sigh*
I have a lot of admiration for many of you who can actually go through the act of attempting suicide. I have wanted to since I was 7 years old and have not had the courage. I am now 53 and still a woos. I suppose what it boils down to is that I really don’t want to kill myself but to be put out of my misery. Don’t get me wrong. I have come very close a time or two and someday I may just get that courage to succeed. I have lived with myself for many years and all I know is that […]
I want to die soon. I was born with Cerebral Palsy and suffered all the usual torment from other kids when I was growing up. I struggled to get a job but never gave up. I managed to live a fairly “normal” life. Girls were happy to ride in my boat or on my bike or get a lift in my car – but date? Never! I finally found a desperate woman and married, had two kids who she abused (along with abusing me) and eventually I left her. I had a good job, had respect, self-esteem and was happy to start again. Now at […]
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