Today I woke up feeling really depressed, so much so that I was in my room from 8am until about 4pm because I just wanted to be left alone.
When I got out to use the bathroom, I saw my keyboard. Now, even though I’ve never considered myself “good” at playing, I thought why not try and learn a song. And I did. After feeling the most depressed I’ve felt in days, I was able to escape and now I’m feeling not good but not bad either.
This post is kinda pointless, but I just wanted to share that playing an instrument, even if you’re […]
Tag:
Suicidal Thoughts
I feel like it’s time. But I don’t want it to be. I made a promise to myself, you see. I promised to wait until I was 21 to find something to live for.
Even though I really want to wait, I’m just tired. Waiting is probably the best way to describe my life and I feel like I can’t take it. Also, my head hurts all the time, without apparent reason. I don’t want to feel pain anymore, but I don’t want others to suffer because of me.
I’ve always prefered to be hurt if that means that someone doesn’t. Maybe that didn’t make […]
I am 99% sure that I want to kill myself. I really want to tell someone that so they could say they had a chance to save me, and they can feel less guilty when they can’t, so they can say at least they tried. But I don’t want to tell Julian (fake name) because he would try to stop me. I haven’t felt this sure about anything in a long time.
I’m going to do it. I need to at least try, or I can’t live with myself. (I guess I wouldn’t be living with myself anyway, ha.) I will be documenting the next few […]
Why movies are better than reality ? Why movie is better than reality ? Why reality is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]
Just a few things on my mind and I may seem harsh but reading some of these comments are making me ill. Your all encouraging each other to take your life’s? Giving each other options for easy ways out? I have been in the exact same situation as many of you&it does get better. We don’t need to encourage each other to take the easy way out. We need to be sharing some fucking hope! So if I come across as harsh, it’s because I generally care.
First of all, I don’t give a shit what anyone says; There is no reason why you should take […]
Someone once told me that in order for me to move on in life I have to let go of all of these emotions that are keeping my hostile. So here is my story, that will hopefully help me move on and let go of the past so I can be happier. Including a photo might be my way of letting it all out there my own way. idk ………
I was feeling down today. So I made this account & I suddenly didn’t feel so alone. To know that there are other people out there that I can relate to comforts me in a way. […]
I wasn’t like this at first. I was so happy. I had strong religious faith. I was a good kid overall, so much that being depressed was out of the question. I guess the world is evil. The world changed my more mature self. I became more aware of problems. More family problems, friend issues, doubts in my faith, everything that was enough to tip my world over. My parents hate each other, but they stay together because of me. My friends don’t really care about personal things, and if they do they aren’t very supportive. I’m not the smartest person. I’m not pretty. I […]
Hey.
I know that everyone is here for a reason and whatever cliche shit we’ve been listening to forever.
Right now, my life has no purpose. I don’t even know why I opened this site. But whatever. It has always been hard for me to find people to talk to. My parents are kinda supportive, but if you know anything about being Indian it is that your parents exercise complete and absolute control on your life. My parents don’t let me outside the house, except for school. Not even tutions, parties, nothing. Indians are conservative and rather, well, religious. But on days like these I find myself […]
Sometimes I wonder if there really is an alternate universe, or another life, or a life in a life. And whatever might happen when you’re dead and your feet are no longer touching the ground.
What do you feel after you die? What do you see? Is everything pitch black, you with no thoughts whatsoever, you literally just gone? Are you really going to be up there, with a God who just so promised to have plans for you? Plans for your life? Or is there another life, where, once you’re dead, you live again. Live another life. Reborn. Forget your past life and just move forward. Start new.
Sometimes […]
Before you convince yourself that now is the time to leave this world and enter a whole new dimension of an unknown abyss, ask yourself these questions. (and feel free to answer them yourself in the comments):
What makes it so hard for you to stay?
What do you view suicide as?
How would you commit suicide?
On average, 6 people are intimately affected by the suicide of a friend, family member, etc.
Who do you think would miss you the most? (Can be more or less than 6 people.)
Why would those people miss you so much?
What is your favorite thing about your everyday life?
What are some […]
I use to live in San Diego, California when i was growing up. It was amazing and I wasn’t the most popular kid but I did have a small amount of good friends that I was happy with. Then in the middle of 5th grade my family decided to move to Indiana and well that was probably the worst decision of their lives. I made friends in 5th grade when i started, and got a crush on this kid named Justin. Over time all the friends i though i had starting to turn on me, especially in 6th grade. I got bullied so […]
i want to make a list for just in case…want to drop it here. i’m gonna pick little bit underrated movies, and some of popular ones.
1) Gattaca (1997) story about a genetically inferior man
2) Chung Hing sam lam (1994) life of two melancholic cops
3) Stand by me (1986) best coming of age movie, different and sweet
4) Barry lyndon (1975) you can find anything in this movie; suffer, pain, joy, all-life movie directed by kubrick. barry hold on everything to the end.
5) c.r.a.z.y (2005) best family drama, period
6) zero kelvin (1995) its the most poetic film i have ever seen. ”A […]
what do you think of life?…
has it treat you well?…
are you happy the way your life is?…
everyone knows that life is not perfect….
who knows……
is yours?
if it is then I’m happy for you..
if it is not then I do hope you find your way……
see ya…….
in the next life……
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
I’m happy sometimes. I met this girl thousands of miles away and she makes me happy. But sometimes I just get really sad out of nowhere. I get down on myself and hate every part of my being. I think about suicide really often, I have been for three whole years now. I even went to therapy but I stopped going because it didn’t work or feel right. I feel fucking insane.
I turned 18 June 5th, and I was so ashamed of myself because I never thought I’d make it this far. I thought I’d be dead by now. I know I’m going to die soon, I’m getting too tired too fast and my will to live is almost nonexistent at this point. I’m not going to make it to graduation, but that’s okay, I was just another nameless face in the crowd. I’ve never been anyone special.
I wanted to be someone special, though. I wanted to be some great writer. I had such big ideas and dreams, but my depression killed them a long time […]
I’m not sure what I want. I not sure weather I want to kill myself or just die. It’s 2015 and I’ve been facing depression for over four straight years now. When I tell my parents I’m depressed they just think it’s a temporary thing. When I tell my “friends” they think I’m a attention seeking whore and don’t believe me cause I’m always “smiling”. I’m only 16 and I’ve never had a girlfriend and I always feel alone. Which causes me to think that no ones cares about me and that’s the reason I’m lonely. I believe that I can be cured by finding […]
In my town, there is this billboard.
It doesn’t really advertise any product or service.
It has a digital display of the average emergency room wait time, in minutes.
Sometimes when I drive past this billboard it tells me the average emergency room wait time is 8 minutes. Sometimes it tells me the wait time is 2 minutes. On these days I am glad that the emergency room is having a slow day.
But other days I drive by and the billboard screams, “The average emergency room wait time is 38 minutes. You could be dead in 38 minutes.”
I hate this billboard.
Man, I feel like I for once was right about something. This website is already proving amazing. My previous vent helped me through the day, and upon logging on again and seeing a couple encouraging comments, I feel I can fully breathe again. Well, at least for today.
Tomorrow is a different story, but we’ll talk about and deal with that when we get there. Seriously though, this website is my new go-to place. I’ve kept diaries in the past, but my older sister snoops through them and at times would have the nerve to leave comments she believed encouraging. On the contrary, they were quite […]
Life is fleeting. The only good thing about my life is that one day, I will die. The inevitability of death is comforting, in a way. It doesn’t matter how much I fuck up because one day it will all just be over. It doesn’t matter how alone I am because one day I’ll just leave everyone behind.
I used to be scared. I was absolutely terrified of dying and what happens after. Now, I just can’t wait for everything to end. It doesn’t matter what happens after I die, I don’t care anymore. Sure, I have things I want to accomplish before I pass, but I know […]