I’m the last person anyone would think to be like this. People think I’m everyone’s weird, wild, funny friend…and that’s what hurts the most. And it’s so hard to tell someone you’re depressed. I told some of my friends and they thought I was crazy or stupid. I remember getting really, really hurt by what someone said to me… Try being depressed when you start at the age of eleven.
There used to be a feeling that I could not describe, but it happened to me daily. It wasn’t normal, I knew that. I don’t know, it felt like someone was sitting on […]
Tag:
Suicide
I wrote a post sometime last week. I am not sure of the date as it was mostly a blur.  The time came again. Last Tuesday at 5pm after countless minutes/hours/days/weeks etc etc of wondering if suicide was what I want, I tried to commit suicide for the third time. I popped a hell of a lot of panadol, drank some vodka and cut my wrist (again). This time I was going to be successful, I was bleeding everywhere (I had hit a vein) and I was slowly passing out. It was getting harder and harder to keep my eyes open. Then much to my disgust my mother […]
When I was a small child I prayed many times to disappear into my Winnie the Pooh books, where I could be happy forever. That was a dumb prayer, though, and anyway it never happened, so I’m still here. I kept a knife under my mattress for a week, after I had a dream that a psychopathic killer was coming for me. In the dream, I decided that the best thing to do was to kill myself before the murderer got to me, as I could give myself a quick, easy end with the knife and spare myself a torturous death. As an […]
Ok a lot of people may think i’m pathetic because i’m only 15 and i am already thinking about suicide… well i just don’t know what to do, i’m pretty much never happy i have so many bad memories in my past that i cant let go of… Up until about 2 years ago i always thought suicide was just an easy way out of things because that’s what my uncle did was take the easy way out of his problems by taking his life.
I now understand why some people think that is their only option, if you think you have nothing to live for then […]
When Elizabeth died, I didn’t understand what was happening. That’s not true. I knew what was happening, I just kept forgetting. And I still don’t remember most of it. Whenever I want to remember the date she died, I look it up on the internet.
This is what I remember: She was all-American. Her family was Korean. She listened to terrible pop music. Her pierced navel became infected, and she was too scared to disinfect it herself. She dated my first college boyfriend. She laughed like a child. She was failing Genetics. She rollerbladed around campus, and her helmet was too large. She fenced. […]
I have been thinking deeply about suicide for the last few years. To be honest I hate the term depression, even my doctor said it is such a loose term that it is extremely hard to treat due to our own individualities. I don’t just get depression for no reason it’s a side effect of something else.
I have a very severe form of IBS that has been plagueing me for the last five years making my life instantly turn from fine to a complete mightmare almost overnight. Everyday, every hour of every days I am supressed by my symptoms, it drives me insane. I could […]
I am so sorry to bring it up to many of you young people but unprovoked suicidal thoughts may never end. Regardless of medication, years of therapy, amazing experiences, and loving people, your mind may always haunt you.
I’m nearly 25 now and I’ve been dealing with a tortured mind for over a decade. I’ve always longed for suicide, but I knew the world had so much more to offer me. After graduating HS and college early I moved overseas. I felt each of those two major accomplishments should have made me happy; was I fucking wrong. After living in Australia for a year, less than […]
Well, I come on here to tell everyone else to change their lives, that you can get past the bad thoughts and your negative crap. But it’s begining to just back fire. I have been depressed and a cutter for a long time (well thats how it seems to me), seven years now. I am nearly ninteen years old. Last year in May I first tried to kill myself, I almost died but my family found me just in time. I tried again twice more but got to a point where I had to accept that I was meant to be here a little longer. […]
Hello there. My name’s Jessica. My age, ill say is under an adult, by far. Any ways, im here to tell you. if there is any listeners. i suppose not. but i will go on. im at quite a young age, and im very depressed. i was led to fall in love with this amazing girl. yes, girl. and she played to love me bakc for a while, and i had to sit there and watch her get like 3 different boy friends and after each one crushed her i was there to lean on for a bit. and that was that. i got so […]
hi, this is the second time I write, last time I wrote “wanna die”. I still wish I’d just die. just fall over, dead…. I’ve promised a friend of mine that I’ll live untill school starts again, and now I regret. a promise is a promise, can’t break it. my life is spiraling downwards… had to break up with my boyfriend. know it sounds ridiculus, but I’ts true. just realised I was still so in live with the one who dumped me.. he really is’nt even a good person, but I still love him… he know that he ruined the rest of my life whwn […]
I’ve had anxiety and depression most of my life, on and off since I was around 10; and more and more frequently since my twenties (I’m almost 40 now). Right now it’s not the worst. But I would like to be dead.
Like I said, I’m not in the depths right now – but it’s been four years since I’ve really had much pleasure in my life. Â I can keep going – I’m productive, I’m pursuing things I used to love, and new things I might love now. I have a home, I have friends, I’m doing okay financially. But I am not even close to […]
i don’t really know what to say so I’ll start with this. I’m not suicidal. I’m just on this page because I learned in class that Suicide is probably on the charts of teen killings. I don’t understand why people would wanna take their lives away. I’m deeply sadden. And I’m not just saying that. Killing yourself is very sad. And I barley know you guys, just wonder how your loved ones feel. And if you’re saying “loved ones”? Wtf is she talking about…I don’t have any loved ones. Ok, but do you honesty think killing yourself is the ultimate answer? I mean seriously, its […]
I found out tuesday that my uncle commited suicide…he hung himself from a tree. God he was brave and the best person in the world. I dont understand why he wanted to die. I understand why I want to die…I have nothing going for me. I have thought about killing myself since I was 13… I will be 19 in less then a month. And I havent thought about killing myself in about 4 months…but since my uncle did it I feel like I want to again. Like I feel like I gave up on the only thing I have wanted to do for such […]
Yeah. Here it goes. I’m 19. Dropped out of school. Nothing going on in my life. My best friend has just stopped talking to me, probably for good. I’ve been in love with this girl for the past year or so but I haven’t talked to her since the last we saw(a year ago) I just got the courage to try and talk to her. Just talk to her. She doesn’t want to because she thinks it’s weird. I’ve been thinking about suicide for about two years now but it was only until a month ago that I actually came close to going through with […]
I guess I’ll start off with a quick synopsis of who I am before I start explaining what is that’s making me feel suicidal. To start my name is Luke, I’m 19 and I live in St. Louis Missouri, have my whole life. I graduated highschool a little over a year ago and I’m currently going to ITT Tech. I’m overall a middle of the road kinda guy on almost everything. B average student, somewhat attractive, funny at times, etc. Just normal.
Anyway as of late I’ve been feeling pretty bad. Actually I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. For some reason I’ve been […]
The every day has become so petty. It is such a struggle to put up the front of being “okay” with the way things are when it all seems, and often is, so meaningless. It takes courage to walk away from a job and security without a backup plan. How do I look at myself and decide what I can do that makes me feel good…maybe a long forgotten chidhood dream can be pursued. It seems easy to be surrounded by selfish and weak people and hard to find people supportive and caring.Â
Suicide is not easy; Although many people say that it is.  It […]
i was bored today, so i started looking around the site again. i haven’t poked around for a while now. as i was reading people’s stories, i found myself envious of them. i think i know why. some of the people here- correction, MANY of the people here have already attempted suicide. and i am jealous. it’s not just in this online world, it’s in my reality too. it seems ok for everyone else to break down, but not me. a kid i had known for years hung himself in the week before his bar mitzvah. we saw my neighbor get carted out of her […]
” I’ve often thought of suicide as my anwser. But now i regret it. I Slit my wrist way to deep all the blood rushes from my gentle body as i lay crimped up on the floor i wonder if anyone even cares. My funeral was horrible no one even bother to release a tear. not one. No one came to claim me as there’s. No boys seem to take a look when i walk by they just go on&on about the measly lives of the tiredness of the others with in the room. No counselor seems to listen when i scream at the top of […]
I’m sure many posts have started the same way mine will; I’ve never written a post before in my life. But things have escalated to the point where I have to say this somewhere…..anywhere. And this seems as good a place as any.
I was married at 18, got pregnant on my honeymoon, so had my first child by the time I was 19. My husband and I had known eachother since I was 13 and he was 15. We were the best of friends until things started changing when I was 16, and we fell in love.
I honestly believed my life was set. We had […]
Don’t bother trying to save me
Just let me be
I don’t need you anymore
So please shut the door
And walk away
I’ll see you again someday
I know it’s dumb
But IÂ wanna be numb
I’m tired of hurting for you
So sick of trying, too
I’m sick of trying to hold on
When all hope is gone
I’ll let it all go tonight
I’ll give up the fight
The stains on my shirt
This addiction to hurt
I can’t take it
I’m weak and I hate it
The blade at my wrist
IÂ just can’t resist
I’m weak and I hate it
The blade at my wrist
I […]