Tag:

the world

by jadedkeizy 2/2/2016

written by jadedkeizy

At this new job at my brother’s company, anxiety is always flaring up and up. Meeting clients is so much of a struggle because I try to leave my social anxiety and depression at home. My brother keeps on telling about the Lord and how he’ll save me et cetera

I just feel like I don’t belong and wasn’t meant to be in the first place. I can’t function like a normal human being. The boredom and repetitive mundanities of everyday life just render me powerless. Lack of confidence in self, in the world. I am generally fucked to the 100th degree.

2/2/2016 3 comments

The problem with changing

by NiDDA 2/2/2016

written by NiDDA

Even if you change, the world won’t. The world will remain the same. The things hurt you before will be there to haunt you and get you when you will be weak.

2/2/2016 6 comments

Here’s the thing

by exmachina 2/1/2016

written by exmachina

Alright guys and gals, here’s my two cents. I’ve been thinking about offing myself for, say, two years give or take. I wasn’t really sure how I’d do it or anything, but it seemed the most logical outcome of my life and here’s why:
I’m one of those people who, for some reason or another, have been blessed (or cursed) with a high degree of sensitivity. Now, I’m not saying that I get upset over little things. Far from that, I let most shit slide. When I say sensitive I mean there’s always this intense emotion and love towards other people -that’s why I find […]

2/1/2016 6 comments

Blurred.

by GTSuicide_6 1/31/2016

written by GTSuicide_6

Haven’t posted in weeks,

Have sat around, friendless, lonely.

Solitude is my best friend, though.

Oh, forgot: Gotta blame myself on the “friendless” part. I cut them out– spare them.

2 more months and I’m out, I promise the world. Until then, I have no friends. […]

1/31/2016 5 comments

no purpose

by souptool 1/31/2016

written by souptool

I was standing outside staring at a tree and realized that tree was doing more for the world than I am. There’s no reason for me to be here I have nothing to offer. My life’s a joke.

1/31/2016 11 comments

it comes and it goes

by herecomestheavalanche 1/31/2016

written by herecomestheavalanche

i have so much to be grateful for, but i’m extremely depressed.

i have a great good okay life, i have food to eat, clean water, a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and money to spend.

i am just incredibly lonely.

every time i try to reach out, i get rejected, bitten, cast aside. in private and in public.

no one ever contacts me, unless they want/need something from me. i haven’t spoken a single word to a single person since i left work on thursday night.

according to the world, i have no feelings, no emotions, and deserve not one ounce of care from anyone other than myself.

if […]

1/31/2016 2 comments

Stuck between life and death

by Ylem 1/30/2016

written by Ylem

Why? Why is everything so fucking hard? I thought I was getting better. I thought my feelings and emotions were returning. I thought I was finally feeling human again.

But I’m not.

I don’t feel alive. I’m stuck in the middle. Between life and death. I was trying to choose life, but it’s not working. I can’t choose death. Not yet.

I want to die, but I can’t. I try to live, but it’s hard. Life never brings anything for me. Death is well within reach, but I can’t end it.

I hate being STUCK. I hate being TRAPPED.

When is the pain going to end?

I don’t want to cut […]

1/30/2016 3 comments

by julesbartley 1/30/2016

written by julesbartley

In other news

The world is so much more beautiful

When it’s raining

1/30/2016 7 comments

Protected: sometimes, when i was little,

by whiskered-fish 1/28/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

1/28/2016 2 comments

Wasted

by just_lonely 1/28/2016

written by just_lonely

The empty bottles have been scattered over the bedroom floor. The fridge, filled with sealed bottles that are ready to be drunk. The temptation of just grabbing a bottle after one bottle that has been emptied is too strong. He throws the emptied bottle across the room because he’s forgotten where the trash goes. He can only find the winding way to the liquor. He’s forgotten about the world. He’s been too lost in his own world to deal with the real world. His pain and desires just don’t match up anymore. Nothing is enough. His cravings and his sorrows deepens him with every step […]

1/28/2016 2 comments

Belonging

by cleco 1/27/2016

written by cleco

I feel like I got confirmation today that I just don’t belong. I knew there was something wrong with me. Some hideous abnormality lurking beneath the surface. I wanted to wring the entire world in my hands – twist the planet round and round until all the pain and injustice leaked from it. I wanted to cleanse my soul of the mental torture I had allowed myself to both mete out and endure. I am my own prisoner – a hostage of a world I created to escape the hand I’ve been dealt.

I have grown up watching the world go by – observing others find […]

1/27/2016 2 comments

What is normal, anyhow?

by rivets 1/27/2016

written by rivets

I want to live in a world where I don’t have to talk, don’t have to explain, don’t have to figure out topics of conversation or be up-to-date on the latest bit of gossip at work or the latest media tidbit everybody’s talking about. I want to live in a world where I can do my own thing on my own time, for myself, and not worry about how strange it looks to any onlookers. I want to live in a world where professional sports, politics and religion don’t even have words to describe them. I want to live in a world where I don’t […]

1/27/2016 10 comments

Not so surprisingly, I’m back, now here’s everything I’ve written.

by thelost 1/25/2016

written by thelost

Things

I have done terrible things

Things to make you shiver in the dark

Things that make even my own skin crawl

I want them back, to take them away

I hurt others, so badly I cry

It wasn’t me! I scream

It was them! I can’t help it!

Please, you have to believe me

The things that lie in wait

To rip me apart

To make me rend and tear

As they watch

It’s the demons that lurk beneath the skin

The ones only freed by razors

Death is to begin again

Right?

They beg me to stay

I beg them to let me leave

I don’t want to hurt you anymore

I don’t want to make you bleed

No you must stay

You must endure

You […]

1/25/2016 15 comments

I didn’t think this was possible…

by Alexther 1/25/2016

written by Alexther

Wow…

If I wasn’t so apathetic right now, I’d be shocked down to my core…

I never thought it possible to get emotionally lower than I was feeling before… But here I am, unable to even think, my last drop of energy being used earlier today when I walked home from my studies…

I don’t even have the energy to kill myself. If I had energy, I’d do it right now, as this is unbearable, but I cannot be bothered to get up from my chair for nothing in the world…

If the building would just collapse on me and excuse me of all the work involved in killing […]

1/25/2016 3 comments

by Mark_1981 1/23/2016

written by Mark_1981

I know I’ve posted something similar but I am in a mental state of sureality, a feeling of having woke up from having been in a dream. I acknowledge that I grew up in isolation and in a cult-like environment. I know I’ve posted it before that we were cut off from the outside world, alienated from friends, family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc), neighbours, and so on. Aunts and uncles, though many of them were just 15 km away, stayed away. Despite this distance we didn’t visit either. I went to school but was excluded. At home I played alone. My father was always […]

1/23/2016 4 comments

A tribute to an honourary soldier.

by RogueLonesome 1/23/2016

written by RogueLonesome

Plookamadooo.

I’ll be honest; that is the most absurd word I have ever come across. Of course only you would say such a thing, it wasn’t until I bumped into you over the bandwidth of the internet that I realised such things or words were even possible. You were full of surprises I s’pose, and it didn’t come as any such surprise that your life up until that point was one chapter short of a Pulitzer prize.

Heh…

…I remember quite vividly your imitation of that prank caller dude but with an Indian accent because *apparently* you sounded like an Indian. (Really?! I couldn’t get past that […]

1/23/2016 16 comments

That night.

by Bunny 1/22/2016

written by Bunny

When i was a freshman, so 14, i tried to commit suicide for the first time. I can’t really explain why. It’s two years later and it still feels like it was all a dream. Sometimes it hits me all at once. Out of nowhere.. like around Christmas, i went and saw my youngest sisters choir concert. I was watching, listening. My dad on one side, my brother on the other. And it hit me.. all at once. Without warning.. as those things tend to do. I looked up at the stage, seeing her sing. My throat got that horrible dry feeling and suddenly the […]

1/22/2016 2 comments

Protected: So much for trying to be positive.

by whiskered-fish 1/21/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

1/21/2016 8 comments

Hey…

by nonexistingsoul 1/20/2016

written by nonexistingsoul

I miss those days when living means the world to me.

1/20/2016 3 comments

Fuck It

by thehusk 1/18/2016

written by thehusk

I can’t let go of the past. Who I am. What I’ve done. The thoughts I’ve had. The things I’ve seen, and felt. It is me. It’s how I make sense of the world. If I could just wipe the slate clean – go off and be a happy, functional person. But there are reasons why I am where I am. A person can’t exist without a past – an explanation of why they are how they are. Maybe if I got amnesia – or could change my memory somehow. Convince myself that I’m not here because I’m screwed up beyond all belief, but because […]

1/18/2016 12 comments

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