Last night my husband and I fought again over something trivial since I can’t remember what it was. He had to go work with his parents today since I’m not providing anymore. He said I’m forcing him and I should feel bad for him. He’s doing landscaping and I know it’s a hard job and I do feel bed for him. But back to last night, I took my pups out and stayed downstairs for a while. When I came up he got pissed at me saying “you know I can’t sleep alone and I have an important day tomorrow but I guess I should […]
My life is a complete failure. I have failed by every standard I or anyone else can devise. I have failed as a human being.
And that hurts. Any contact with other people inevitably opens me up to comparison, and I always fall short. Knowing that the best I can hope for from anyone is pity. And I stress myself out a huge amount, trying to figure out ways I can somehow measure up.
But the truth is, there is no way, and there never was. I was always several steps behind, with a disposition to turn my inadequacies into neurotic obsessions, and hamper myself further. And […]
“We’re animals, and we’re on this hunk of Earth hurdling through space. There’s no meaning to life. There’s no purpose. It’s completely absurd and pointless, and we’re just creatures crawling around trying to have sex, and eat, and have shelter. And the only thing that’s for sure is that we’re going to decay and die, just as our ancestors did, and just as our progeny are going to, and that’s it. Does that sound good? That doesn’t sound too good.” – Jeff Greenberg (Flight From Death – Documentary)
This is my first time reaching out here. Originally I signed up to reach out at a very low point but instead found myself trying to help others. The struggle for me is so real. I put “the smile” on to often. I find myself thinking about dying more frequently.. Driving home tonight I just cried so much that it was to the point where I couldn’t see. The thought came to me….”would it really matter if I wrecked and ended it?” I struggled to find a reason why not to. By the time my mind cleared I was in my drive way. Just have […]
so I don’t know but I think I’m going insane.
I can’t sleep well at night; I have terrors and wake up tired.
And today I got and F on my test; which is so so weird because I studied hard and when I took it I felt really good about it. I thought I aced it.
And on top of that my ex is sending me horrible emails. ( I’ve been not responding because I just don’t want him in my life). He’s saying horrible mean things to me. Which is really random and just plain mean. Idk why he’s doing that.
I don’t […]
I just broke down crying in front of my mom, I never cry in front of her.
Okay, so I know I talk my ex incessantly, but I never talk about my real pain. I am a caretaker for my 70 year old mother. I forgot to schedule her transportation (because she’s wheelchair bound) for an appointment she has had for months with her pain doctor.
My brain is scattered. I can barely put on my shoes and yet I am bogged down with EVERYTHING. I have to do everything under the sun for her because she is disabled. I also run a business at home and […]
Despite still having this energy and whatnot, the voices and figures have made it impossible to do anything with it for the past few days – meaning I have been increasingly irritable and angry.
I haven’t gotten any work done because I can’t concentrate on anything, so the energy gets burnt off with arguments and fights with my stepdad (verbal and physical – my cheekbone is slightly bruised again, which was accidental, but I’ve covered it so no one knows anyway).
I saw my therapist on Friday and she’s happy with me – I didn’t tell her much, and my mum was going on about how ‘well […]
She loved me. She loved that I was a doctor. She loved that I helped people. When she talked to her best friend about me, she gushed about how I was a kind, generous, caring person that l loved kids.
I loved her. I loved how full of life she was. I loved that she was always trying to better herself. When I told my friends about her, I told them she was perfect. Warm, sunny, gentle. The perfect girl for me.
We named our future kids. Picked out our future house. Chose our future dog. She wanted it all. I wanted it all. We both did, […]
I know you guys have been listening to my bullshit about my ex for quite some time. I finally made a huge step in parting ways with him. I guess I have had enough… enough wanting him… enough trying to be his friend…
We just need to be done with each other.
I can’t even put into words how hard this is/was….
Thank you to everyone here that gave me advice and would listen to my rants.
For almost 2 years, I’ve felt this way because I live beside toxic neighbours and my uncle doesn’t listen to me to be careful of being taken advantage of. How? Simple. They threaten to sue us, get us fine and arrested for “Distribing The Peace” from the back up alarm installed on my uncle’s car. People sue for almost anything now a days no matter how ridiculous it may seem. There are various type of prices for back up alarm sold online and in-stores. Intially, it […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Damn.
Someone saw it. A classmate of mine saw the cuts. Actually – thank god – just one, and also not my deepest one.. – thank God for it –
Well she was asking like: “Wow, this looks pretty much like you cut yourself, hahaha! Where’d you get this from?!”
And I, just desperately trying to bring her away from this thought, as I never want anyone to see, especially not her, I dunno, I kinda don’t trust her really, (don’t wanna sound mean though, but unfortunately I have a problem with trusting anyway…), was like: “Huh, where the hell did I got this from?!” […]
I’m trying so hard and doing everything within my means to be a functional adult but I feel like the façade is wearing thin. I might snap and jump off bridge. Oh dear sweet Jesus I’m about to fall to pieces. Why do I have to go through this?
My depression use to consume me, lately I just get days where ill hide away hopeless and miserable, other days ill feel ok and get on with life depending on how im distracting myself. Sometimes I question if im depressed or mentally ill, I do things people dont ordinarily do and hear voices. Im trying to be more positive for my boyfriend as he’s put up with so much for no reason other than he loves me, I want to change and be what he deserves, but its so hard trying to be happy and stay positive when things are happening to you that you […]
Hay guys how’s r things going I haven’t been here in a wile been trying to keep busy just checking up on u guy
i can’t remember all the names
cordless
alan
darktide
phanton the names I no of the top of my head how is everyone doing ?
So I’m a freshmen in a collage prep high school. I’ve suffered from depression since 6th or 7th grade. I have really bad anxiety and I’m extremely self conscious. IVe just been under a lot of stress and stuff and been thinking about self-harm and suicide. I think both are terrible things and I would never put my family through it but yet almost everyday I’ve been thinking of ways to kill my self. I know I haven’t got the guts to do it but I can’t stop my self from thinking about it. Nobody knows I suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts and I’m […]
It’s time for a rant!
Sometimes I just need to get things out of my system, otherwise they stay there like bologna someone has left on the counter for ten days. Nobody wants it there but everybody’s afraid to touch it now because it’s green and crawling.
So, here are today’s things that irritate the crap out of me.
Coupons I don’t find until the day after they’ve expired.
(“Nooooo… one day… late… Must save… twenty-five cents….”)
Loud rambunctious people in public, including kids who shout every sentence while their parents don’t take the time to teach them appropriate volume. Meanwhile the kids just shout louder.
Me: “Wouldn’t it […]
I’ve known for quite awhile that my sister has been sexually active. Although it may not be my place I’ve tried to explain to her that she’s really much too young to being doing such. But, why listen to me right? But tonight I was pushed over board. The reason why is she just turned 14, but is now having sex with a 19 year old man. I confronted him today at a Shell, while not much happened other than a shoving match and getting in each other faces, some bystanders called police. Of course they just let us go as neither of us have […]
I don’t really know how the idea came to my mind, but I’ll do it.
As many of you know, my life is a living hell, and yeah, a lot of people wonder how am I still alive.
There’s something in this world that I love with all my soul, with all my heart. No matter what happens to me, that little thing puts a smile on my face. It brightens my day.
And now, I’ll try to make something for that thing. The thing that keeps me alive.
I’ll have to give up on the idea of trying to leave again, because I’ll need some money. […]
I should be feeling something better than this. Just a few weeks away from getting that god forsaken undergraduate degree-in psychology no less. Registered for classes in the fall getting, a Masters in social work, I think. I don’t know what I want though. It is so anti-climactic. I feel pretty numb most the time because I am stuffing those feelings until after finals. My therapist mentioned self-sabotage last week, he kind of took it back this week though. Bought a house. Living alone, trying not to isolate, helps that my sister lives across the street. Honest though, I feel restless. Like I am waiting to […]