Tag:

working

I’m new.

by xx 3/16/2016

written by xx

Hi everyone,

I used to visit this site frequently years ago, but I was content to just read everyone’s struggles and think of them and relate… but since then just reading has become insufficient.

But I don’t want to tell my life story or make a long post, because I talk too much lately and I also just took my sleeping pill, so I would like to end this post coherently hahaha.

I’ll just say that I’ve been depressed since I was a child, and I noticed how different I was from everyone else, and after being abused and molested by 3 separate “friends,” at three separate points in my […]

3/16/2016 54 comments

Gas station from hell..

by cstar4004 3/10/2016

written by cstar4004

I’ve been working a dead end job in a tiny racist town, known for being religious nutjobs, rednecks and KKK members. I could just end my story there and it would make sense, but im not done ranting.

My boss hired me under the table, so i do not pay taxes and cannot use my job on my resumee to find a new job. I pump gas 37.5 hours a week. There is no room for promotions or raises, i make minumum wage and forever will. My co-worker makes more than me, and works the exact same hours and the exact same job title. Ive been here […]

3/10/2016 13 comments

I’ve been hating myself alittle less recently, …

by tiredthoughts 3/7/2016

written by tiredthoughts

And I think it’s working. I don’t feel as bad, as bad I already do. I’m sad ofcourse and thats really all but I’m doing things. Keeping up brushing my teeth and trying to eat better. That’s it SP.

3/7/2016 6 comments

it isn’t working

by 4beyondhelp 3/6/2016

written by 4beyondhelp

I can’t f***ing believe it. The way I planned isn’t gonna work. I know I can’t talk about methods but suffice to say something went wrong that I did not realize could be an issue. Unfortunately I did not realize this until I already started trying. I’ll be fine, just in a small amount of pain for the next few days. I’ve done some pretty embarrassing things in my life but this is really up there, I can’t believe I couldn’t even managed to get this to work properly. I am feeling a strange mix of insane amusement (I was literally cracking up) and a […]

3/6/2016 14 comments

I’m Already Dead

by Counting The Days Until I'm gone 3/6/2016

written by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

Rather than equivocating death, I have conceded that death has already bestowed its unrequited love upon me. Simply so, because though I still breathe, and whilst my heart still thumps, the mere essence which makes each of us has perished within me.

It is as if though I’m only being kept alive by a hypothetical respirator and though this hypothetical mechanisations is working tirelessly, what sense is the life that its saving. For that individual can no longer be happy, can no longer assimilate to usual locomotion, all that is left is his bodily mechanisations and, in actuality life has already left his body.

My body, however is […]

3/6/2016 11 comments

should I do it tonight?

by 4beyondhelp 3/6/2016

written by 4beyondhelp

I wasn’t planning on it, but come to think of it tonight is as good a time as any. I could do it and not be found for long enough for it to have a shot at working.

I’ve been considering death for long enough that I know it isn’t a passing fancy. I also know that 2am is not the best time to make impulsive decisions with permanent consequences, but I thought to myself before that the only thing between me and death was the selfishness to stop caring about whatever effects my death will have on the people I leave behind (funny how inconsequential […]

3/6/2016 10 comments

On the edge

by whydoiwantto 3/5/2016

written by whydoiwantto

It’s about that time again – you know, when depression rears its ugly head and you start researching extensively on the internet for exit strategies… Drunk on a saturday and feeling like I can’t escape. Of course I feel awful about leaving my family but really this cannot go on… The suffering and inability to function within society – like a puzzle piece that can’t fit in. I am so fucking tired of being gay which is essentially a death sentence or at least a life long curse of loneliness and harassment.

Normally I try to write better, wax some sort of whining poetic about romanticized […]

3/5/2016 2 comments

countdown to June

by BlueEyes 3/4/2016

written by BlueEyes

Well, I’m still here. I guess that counts for something.

Sitting here watching the snow fall. I’ve got MC on my mind. I think he has today off from work and is home. I know he won’t call, and I won’t bother him. I’m supposed to be working myself.

What’s on my mind is his wedding. It’s on schedule for mid-June and last Sunday my girl friend told me about the elaborate wedding dress his fiancé bought. Considering MC never wanted to get married again after the trauma of his first disastrous marriage, I’m curious as to what his reaction will be when he sees it. I’m still […]

3/4/2016 4 comments

New Drawing

by JiminyCrispies 3/2/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

The lighting is noticeably awful and I couldn’t get a good angle so it makes my shading and tones patchy when they’re not, but I finally finished working into this piece for college (there’s shadows over the drawing, but we’re pretending they’re not there now).

Everything’s getting worse slowly, so it didn’t turn it as well as it was supposed to, but I can live with it.

Originally I had typed up about my horrible day, but I decided against posting it. So instead, […]

3/2/2016 17 comments

I’m so in love with her, it’s crazy.

by Wintergirl 3/2/2016

written by Wintergirl

There is someone in my life, who I have found myself to be in love with. I say it that way because it’s just that, one day it just hit me, hard. I have known her through my travels, on my way to work. I ride the bus. She’s everyone’s favorite. I know this because I ride a lot of busses in any given week. No other bus rides are like this. She’s such a kind, fun, kinda crazy person. She remembers things you say to her. I can’t imagine how many people she sees in a day, but yet she remembers you aren’t looking […]

3/2/2016 8 comments

Nothing left

by jsjones 3/1/2016

written by jsjones

At 38 I feel like I have nothing worth living for, and I am just a ghost to everything and everyone around me. I grew up with an abusive father who my mother still is married to. I have been living in LA for 17 years trying to chase my dream of working in the film industry. My best friend killed himself back 2010 and left me in his will. I had money but I lost it al because I couldn’t find anyone to hire me. So I used my money to work on other people’s movies for free. I’ve had a boyfriend for three […]

3/1/2016 14 comments

My lil’ bro’ is serious about suicide

by brokenandbent30 3/1/2016

written by brokenandbent30

This hurts my heart more than anything in the world. He graduated from high school, he’s 20 yrs old he knows this society is bullshit and he doesn’t want to work his life away to get nowhere. The part that really scared me was when he was talking about taking other people out with him.

He is upset with my cousin because he uses my grandmother. She has always been an enabler. She let’s him sell her script of Narco to get money but he doesn’t even need it! He takes pictures of himself holding up tons of cash and fronting like he’s working and all […]

3/1/2016 6 comments

Protected: It’s official.

by whiskered-fish 2/28/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2/28/2016 46 comments

Ugly people don’t matter.

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/26/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brad-pike/2013/11/do-ugly-people-have-any-value-at-all-2/

I don’t know why I dwell on my perpetual dateless more than my other issues. Maybe it’s because I get reminders of it everywhere. I don’t think im ugly just an unattractive. Its the same distinction between impoverished and broke. I’ve been working out but yesterday i tweaked my back in the gym. When i went to see Deadpool I saw reminders of someone i love(d) that I will never see again. I realize that my first love is my last love because I’m too shy/scared/unattractive to find someone.

2/26/2016 12 comments

I’m so tired

by disgusting 2/25/2016

written by disgusting

I hate to feel sick of working already when it’s my first year. But I feel useless and like I can’t ever be up to the level everyone else is on, and I’ll always be such a no good underperformer. I used to think I was smart but it’s not book smarts you need. It’s being normal, knowing how everyone else thinks, and creating systems that follow the normal thinking patterns that I’m clueless on. I’m sick of not having any energy, being so short of breath, coughing & gagging like a smoker when I’ve never smoked, being tired all the time and overall physically […]

2/25/2016 3 comments

Hanging not working, thinking about helium

by chalk 2/23/2016

written by chalk

Failed with short drop/hanging. I think I nearly succeed after several attempts.

I lost conscious for maybe a few minutes (cannot remember what exactly happened) until I started to feel very uncomfortable (choking perhaps). I also had a feeling that I was self-rotating at a high speed. Then I suddenly remembered I can loosen the knot. Someone knocked on my bedroom door which is locked and turned out it was my sister who woke up because of the noise I made. I was unable to think that I quickly hid the rope and told her I was fine. My face went pale when I looked at […]

2/23/2016 7 comments

fuck you moon

by souptool 2/19/2016

written by souptool

Full moons around the corner and my sleep is getting worse

getting angry, 45 days sober, on house arrest in the middle of nowhere, court in November, could be looking at jail again

But I’m not looking that far. I’ve set a date for my suicide, if I still feel like it in June I’m going to kill myself.

started working again. Forgot how much I hate the farm, the hours suck, pay is horrible, work with a boss that hates me. Step dad’s suck balls. Real dads forgot about me. Chronic pain, need a hip replacement.

Wish I wasn’t an alcoholic, a good drunk would be awesome right […]

2/19/2016 3 comments

Protected: I’m so thankful to have an art class in my schedule.

by whiskered-fish 2/19/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2/19/2016 2 comments

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/18/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

Should be working out instead im going to get chicken wings. I wanted to try zumba today but food. I havent pigged out like i have this week in years.

2/18/2016 7 comments

Breaking

by kinda anonymous 2/17/2016

written by kinda anonymous

I recently gathered myself together working on a better me but things have been making a comeback pretty bad I think this life just isn’t made for me I don’t think I can take the pressure or pain anymore

2/17/2016 3 comments

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