Category:

Chronic Pain

Slipping away

by beautifulsinner 2/11/2017

written by beautifulsinner

It’s past midnight where I live, and I’m still awake. I’m still awake after taking my remeron, staring at mt celling in the dark. My mind is racing.

It feels like it can’t stop. Or won’t stop. Whatever, it’s not like I’m used to by now. It’s overwhelming living like this, it really is.

Every time I think things are getting better, it’s like something else happens that makes me feel like absolute shit again. It’s hard to find hope when every time you think you found it, it slips away from you.

I know I’ll never be good enough. I know my parents would rather I […]

2/11/2017 4 comments

Hi?

by _lost._.one_ 2/9/2017

written by _lost._.one_

I feel so alone, as if I am not good enough.

Today I almost suffocated from my own self-hate. Sigh, not literally, metaphorically. There were so many people in the bathroom all of a sudden and I could not cry, I had to hold it in for approximately ten minutes while they fussed over their picture.

2/9/2017 3 comments

losing them

by _lost._.one_ 2/7/2017

written by _lost._.one_

I have lost multiple people in my life. Many, many people. It hurts, I thought they would live forever, they would never leave me, but no they didn’t, people never do. It’s all my fault, all mine, they left this world, and I probably caused it… I was young, so little, my adoptive mother/great great grandmother loved me, hated me, protected me,exposed me, hid me, hurt me, but she kept me alive, she died when I was around seven. All I remember is her in the hospital bed with pictures of us taped to the many wires which were connected to her. She died, with […]

2/7/2017 6 comments

Alcohol

by Mavourneen 2/5/2017

written by Mavourneen

Does drinking make you suicidal? What do you guys think of drinking when youre sad? Does weed work better than alcohol as a coping mechanism?

2/5/2017 14 comments

Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality

by niki 2/2/2017

written by niki

Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality

Movie / movies is better than reality / real life / real world
Video game / games is better than reality / real world / real life
Novel /novels is better than reality / real-life / real-world /
Sci-fi / Science-fiction is better than reality / reallife / realworld
Fantasy is better than reality / real world / real life
Anime / manga is better than reality / realworld / reallife
Dream / dreams is better than reality / real-world / real-life

I hate reality !!!!
Reality it’s all about MONEY !!!!!!
Reality is BORING […]

2/2/2017 3 comments

Perfection

by beautifulsinner 2/1/2017

written by beautifulsinner

it needs to be perfect. everything you do needs to be perfect. you need to be perfect.

those are just a few of the thoughts racing around in my head, each and every day. its not like my parents had anything to do with this, no, its all me. im always worrying about everything, always tense, always wanting whatever i do to be perfect.

because i want to be perfect.

what a silly thought right? no one is perfect you might say, or we all have our flaws, or its okay not to be okay. but no, to me, its not. its all or nothing in my […]

2/1/2017 5 comments

Drugged up Lemon

by RustyLemons 1/29/2017

written by RustyLemons

So. Here you are. Reading a note from some strange Internet lemon about how they’re gonna kill themselves.

Well. I guess it all started when I was a baby lemon. I was raised by a robot mother. I went to school- hmm? …. what’s a …fah-thur? Anyway. At about 9 I had my first existential break down and tried to hang myself. The pole broke (silly lemon) and hit me in the head and mom came home and didn’t suspect a thing and I didn’t reattempt because she was home. I’ve been cutting since then as a secret solution. A self cutting lemon. Bitter and bleeding.

I’ve […]

1/29/2017 3 comments

Moving forward

by lifehappens 1/27/2017

written by lifehappens

The minutes are torturess. It’s as if someone is screaming inside of me. My life has become unbearable.

But suddenly now I’m at peace, with the concept of death. I’ve reached the point where I’m okay with how I feel. I accept it. I accept that my life may end with an impulsive slit to the throat. I accept that I may go on for a lifetime feeling this pain and enternal hurt.

I accept these things, but it doesn’t mean I’m no longer aching inside. Because I am. I still have this dull heavy pain in my chest but I’m no longer fighting it. […]

1/27/2017 6 comments

Do You Really Want to Die or Do You Just Want Your Pain or Your Struggles to End?

by SumTimesIWonder 1/25/2017

written by SumTimesIWonder

Image result for suicide parabole

There is a difference. And a BIG one.
…problem is, how to tell?

1/25/2017 10 comments

the problem of pain

by motherchucker 1/24/2017

written by motherchucker

Hello friends. If anyone has suggestions on how to at least cope with the persistent pain of being alive when you don’t want to be, it’d be most welcome. Or just feel free to share whatever’s on your mind. I have gotten to the point of drawing nooses in my course syllabus. You know, like an emo high school MCR fan, except I’m 22 and too old for this juvenile behavior. I’ve gotten to the point beyond tears, where all that remains is a constant dull ache in the chest. Like I’m lugging around weights. I hate going to school, but all other avenues in […]

1/24/2017 1 comment

Suicide or not?

by Randomaccess10 1/17/2017

written by Randomaccess10

The doctors fucked me up on meds. Forced me to take antidepressants after id already had serotinin syndrome…then i smoked a load with the stress, and had oxygen after to try and fix things…causing more damage, a day in the life of me is like imagine wearing earmuffs, with a car alarm sound 24/7, while your vision is like a home video recording shaking, with the brightness on zero and color turned down, with a bad aerial connection, and you have lead weights strapped to your arms and legs and a jug of water on your head….my little fingers hurt and dont move properly, and […]

1/17/2017 13 comments

The Funniest Joke, The Second Installment of My Worthless Existence

by AKidWithAName 1/15/2017

written by AKidWithAName

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my near-monthly shout into the void called the internet! Today, we present the second installment of a worthless piece of dog shit trying to reconcile their guilty conscience to no avail!

God, I am such a freak show. I’m not even saying this shit to be “edgy” or whatever. I am actually fucking hilarious to watch. I’ve been replaying memories of my worthless life and let me tell ya, it could win a fucking comedy award. Hok shit.

So, first, I honestly thought that my parents wanted me. Holy fuck, that was a good one. My parents? Ha. Wanting me? God, it’s […]

1/15/2017 7 comments

My Story

by 90Grayson 1/14/2017

written by 90Grayson

Hello everyone, my name is Daniel, and I think I’m going to commit suicide very shortly, I want to anyways, not sure if I will though, since things in life change so much, but I hope that moment arrives in a week or two. I don’t know where to start, I’m done trying to figure out why I’m like this, why I have suicidal thoughts, why I cut myself, why I feel so much pain all the time. It sucks, it really sucks to be this way, I don’t believe in destiny, but I cannot avoid feeling like I am trapped, and have absolutely no […]

1/14/2017 10 comments

I hate myself

by beautifulsinner 1/10/2017

written by beautifulsinner

every 40 seconds someone in the world dies by suicide.
every 40 seconds i wish i was one of those people.

i wake up and look at myself in the mirror and hate who i am. i hate my skin, clothes, body face; you name it. it wasnt always like this, really. i used to be so fun and joyful and happy.. what happened? i would die to go back to those times when i loved myself, when i was content with life, when i smiled every day. my life feels like a series of unfortunate events, just happening one after another. its funny because from […]

1/10/2017 17 comments

Can’t Last til my Last Breath

by Old_Medic60 1/10/2017

written by Old_Medic60

Last Thursday during a period of mania I quit a job of 6 months. Went to the beach and put my ‘hood’ on. As I prepared the tank it occurred to me that I hadn’t removed personal effects from my friends house where I landed in June after leaving the hotel. Didn’t want to burden anyone having to root through my stuff.

Called a crisis line a few hours later ending up volunteering to admit myself for this crisis.

Now several days later, really kick myself for not going through with it. I was in the right frame of mind and more so a valid reason to […]

1/10/2017 0 comment

Disappearing

by BrokenX2 1/7/2017

written by BrokenX2

Sometimes I question, why am I still here? I feel like crawling under a rock and stay there. One time I feel okay, next time I feel completely sad. I’ve deactivated all of my social media, not like anybody actually cares. My friends and family won’t even notice my absence, Maybe after 6 months I guess. Nobody really cares about me.

1/7/2017 6 comments

Anyone want to discuss about philosophy

by nevertobe 1/6/2017

written by nevertobe

I am planning on ending it in a couple of weeks or so maybe more or less depends when I get my house in order I am a 20-year-old seeking someone to talk about life and philosophy with and share and enjoy my last few weeks and leave in peace

1/6/2017 9 comments

Some pain is worse than other pain

by Scarredsoul 1/5/2017

written by Scarredsoul

No, the pain of not getting to go out when you wanted to is not as bad as the pain of losing someone you love. No, you don’t have the right to act as if these small things you call “first world problems” are as bad as it gets. There is a fine line between inconvenience and pain. Between a small glitch in a normal to semi good day and having to refrain from the extreme urge to kill yourself. I’m so young, but I could swear I’ve felt the slits of the blood sea’s razor and have checked into hell too many times to […]

1/5/2017 0 comment

The Mask….

by JinxTheJester 1/5/2017

written by JinxTheJester

Sometimes I wish I could put the mask away…but it’s become a part of me now…and I can’t take it off…

Have you ever been asked that question?

“Are you okay?”

And always answered…

“I’m fine.”

But what you really want to say is…

“I’m not okay!” “I’m depressed!” “I’m suicidal!” “I’m lonely!” “Im dying!” “Please, help me!”

But you can never get the words out.

Its like somebody’s choking you…forcing you to bottle it up inside…Keeping you from breathing…refusing you salvation from these miserable lies…holding you prisoner…and shutting you down ultimately…… 🙁

1/5/2017 27 comments

Some Words

by ceeselena 1/4/2017

written by ceeselena

There wasn’t a time I ever didn’t feel depressed. Even with the cocktail of drugs I’m always on. Everything hurts. I miss my dad. He killed him self 5 months ago. Today is my turn. I’m just done. A lot of people say it. Because it’s true. I don’t want to draw this out. I just want to say I’ve been hurting nonstop for 17 years and it’s gotten to the point where I just can’t be bothered anymore. I love my pets, and I feel they’re the only ones who will honestly miss me. Well, I know of about two people who will. But […]

1/4/2017 3 comments

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