Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

I wasn’t prepared…. were you ?

by Urm8451n 10/10/2017

written by Urm8451n

Good day you all,
This post will include; panic attack, co op failure, overcoming love.
Added bold words to make reading easier and able to jump
edit: Also added conclusions down the page.

start Today I had a great day, studied, and got few compliments, perhaps even started few new social relationship here or there.
It is really nice to start a new page at a university.
But…
change in events I went back home, a friend contacted me, he asked if I wanna go out with him like we did two days ago. Back then [8.10.17] he said “I want you to know that I completely respect you, […]

10/10/2017 2 comments

Off the hook (addiction)

by Urm8451n 10/9/2017

written by Urm8451n

TLDR : addiction sign, lack of friendships and lost conflict.

Today I did really good. I deactivated my Facebook account and I’m really close to stop spending useless time on whatsapp.

For those of you who don’t know, due to suffering and lack of friends… and probably fucked up parents, life failures, crapy job, broken heart and etc… I started to develop signs of addiction.

Im taking Ritalin for studying (ADHD) and each time it hits me, I feel really good, like I’m focusing on the high I get from it.

I also took lately mid-strong pain killers for my stomach ache and I started getting high on it. […]

10/9/2017 4 comments

Loneliness… don’t u feel it?

by Urm8451n 10/8/2017

written by Urm8451n

I have been standing outside the house for a while, letting my thoughts hit hard on love and company.

I really miss my ex, but not because she was someone who gave me trust. But because she was something to hug, hold and have sex with.

It’s easy to remember our time together as lovely, but in fact it wasn’t as so. therefor I decided to quit it, and even then I’m still missing that hug.

I feel like play Chas game against “time”, as if some kind of persona, shaped like a standing clock, is over thinking me at a chess game, and slowly winning.

I wish I […]

10/8/2017 3 comments

sleepless…… aren’t you? (Help me)

by Urm8451n 10/7/2017

written by Urm8451n

I would define my self strength to bare mental and physical damage as 8/10.

But even though I’m coping with major life defects (depression, lack of money, friendly back stabs by friends and etc) I still am being damaged.

I’m amazed by how fucked you can get when being stressed. I don’t feel stressed, but I’m definitely showing symptoms of it. I’m sleepless. I can’t fucking go to sleep. It started to show up in the last two month and I’m clearly am devastated by it. I would like to get advices of how to cope with it.

Please give my an idea!

Solutions are welcome!

anyhow, stay strong, be […]

10/7/2017 3 comments

my crazy life…

by hellfire187 10/4/2017

written by hellfire187

hey,

just want to share a little bit of my story. Sorry for my bad english.

My father is an alcoholic psycho, as long as I can think. He was allways fliping out. I started smoking weed, when I was 12. I was smoking and drinking every day, since Im 16. At this age, I became sick, crohns desease. Every day pain, like hell… Im on opiate painkillers since Im 20. This every day pain breaks my brain. Got depressed after some years of horrible pain. With 25 I started to take speed, meth, cokain everyday use, in weekends mdma, sometimes lsd, alltogether with weed and painkillers. Every […]

10/4/2017 1 comment

good ol’ verbal abuse

by loosejoystick 9/28/2017

written by loosejoystick

9/28/2017 8 comments

Relapse.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 9/25/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

5 days ago I lost 136 days of being clean of cutting. It might seem like nothing but it took all of me to get past those 136 days. When I broke them it wasn’t like always. Right now, I feel so shitty about myself and I’m in a really bad place. I got through the last school year taking vitamin supplements because the doctor told me to do so. I stopped them about 2-3 months ago and for the past week I’ve been feeling so down and tired all the time. Last night, I slept for the longest I have ever slept since school […]

9/25/2017 11 comments

Sin.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 9/22/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

“Wanting to die, is a sin”

Our English teacher read that line. I was in shock. I could hear people whispering and laughing. No one seemed to care. How could she say that? How could the author of the book write about that? How do they want people to admit that they have been wanting to die when they are being taught that it is a sin? Telling us that, would only make us wish we were dead already. We have already got the sin, haven’t we? Why wait around and collect more sins by thinking the way we do? Wanting to die isn’t a choice, […]

9/22/2017 3 comments

Relapse.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 9/22/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

Ever since school started I haven’t been posting since I barley have time to breathe. I visited the hospital about 2 weeks ago since the headaches and chest pain proceed. The doctor gave me pills for a week and immediately checked my oxygen level thinking it had something to do with my asthma. After we left the hospital my parents gave me shit not only because the doctor said it was nothing but also because I forgot my identity card at home. I’m starting to forget things for some reason and I want it to stop. If I keep on forgetting things I won’t be […]

9/22/2017 1 comment

My unsatisfying relationship with my parents

by Bre24 9/21/2017

written by Bre24

All my life I’ve had the same reoccurring problem: I have never been able to make my parents proud of me. My relationship with them is almost nonexistent. My relationship with my mom will always be the one that bothers me the most. I can never get any sort of praise out of her. Even when I get A’s in classes and on assignments she always tells me I could “do better if i tried harder”, and this gives me the idea I will never meet her expectation which takes a huge toll on my self confidence and makes me afraid of disappointing others. I […]

9/21/2017 1 comment

Money is happiness…

by sugarcoated 9/21/2017

written by sugarcoated

I am officially screwed.

People say money can’t buy happiness. But it can. And I need money to buy braces, new glasses, for future university tuition, etc.

I just turned 17 and found out that I need to get my wisdom teeth out, get braces, and all that. Overall it will cost around $10k, maybe more. I don’t have that kind of money, and my parents can’t afford it.

I can save a bit of money if I choose to get my wisdom teeth out on a simple dentist chair. But I’ll probably freak out and the surgeons don’t want that so I’ll have to be put to […]

9/21/2017 4 comments

I feel unwanted and unloved

by D47 9/20/2017

written by D47

Anyone else who has a selfish mother who only thinks of herself and respects other family members, but when it comes to you, she thinks you are the most self-centered, lazy person who she’ll never respect because she constantly is telling you that you are 2 in her eyes. And that while you need a mother who’s supportive and helps you gain wings and find your own way, she thinks your life is hers and you have to do whatever she wants, or else she will remind you that you are very unsupportive of her needs and the most horrible child ever?

9/20/2017 3 comments

Disappointment?Always been one.

by YetAnother 9/18/2017

written by YetAnother

Have you felt like you can just never do anything right? All you want is to make something right but every time you try, it only gets messier?
I have been like that for a while now. Iam far from being a ” normal person”. Everyone wants to mould me into someone they need. And yet I try, only so that I could feel accepted for once. Feel loved for once. And guess what happens?
Everything I think I have something or someone, I only end up losing them.
Everyone seem to need me once in a while and every time, I ask for an […]

9/18/2017 8 comments

don’t belong

by lo_15 9/18/2017

written by lo_15

I am 15 years old, and every day I fell like I don’t belong and I feel that when people call me fat or ugly that I need to just leave this world so they will not have to look at me, the age at when I felt this way was when I was 9 years old and my birth mom got back on drugs and I have not talked to her sinc, so u see it was when she chose drugs over me over my siblings but they are so happy with there lives then there is me all alone you see they don’t […]

9/18/2017 5 comments

The time when everything stopped permanently

by LastMonths 9/17/2017

written by LastMonths

Once there was a glee good boy who had everything he ever wanted a complete family with normal days and a normal life. Until one day his father decided to fuck everything up leaving them without any fucking clue as to where,what,why he did it.

The boy tried to find his father with her mother helping her to move on in the process, but the boy was stuck in time he was in a permanent loop of asking why.

Then came the days we call everyday life for him it was hard and he was trying his best, then one day his drunkard uncle beat him down […]

9/17/2017 1 comment

Hope – The Pain Does Go Away

by yes please 9/15/2017

written by yes please

Hi all,

This is one of my first posts here.

A few years ago, I was in a pretty dark place. I was convinced that my life was a burden and that I’d never be able to shake the bad thoughts that came persistently. Every day was a struggle. Nothing was improving and I was getting suicidal thoughts.

Some of you may be in the same or a similar situation. Please know that things get better. I’m still here. I’m still fighting. It is a fight. It might be the hardest thing you do, but you’re worth it. You’re worth the fight and life is worth fighting for.

You have no […]

9/15/2017 16 comments

Lost, Hurting, and Downward Spiral

by grayjune 9/15/2017

written by grayjune

TL;DR- I used to be a good kid, then I ruined myself and tried to abandon school. I’ve had such a bumpy ride but it never stopped going downhill. I am so lost and the pressure is getting to me deeply. I want to end it all but I still feel guilt eating at me for leaving my family to suffer.

I want to start off by saying that I used to be happy, energetic and was, at some point, an intelligent kid. I was responsible and did school work and homework on time. Fast forward to 8th grade where the real problems began. I developed […]

9/15/2017 4 comments

Fake Friends

by Lostsoul_20 9/11/2017

written by Lostsoul_20

I hate that my “friends” are all friends with my rapist – they claim not to be but they very obviously are. Always talking to him, laughing with him, partying with him, visiting his place, cooking for him at one point fucking him. I wish they could see how deteriorating this is. Its not enough to say I should be the one to say don’t hang out with him. if some guy that you say you’re only acquaintances with rapes you’re friend you get rid of the guy. Don’t make excuses as to why you continue to get close to him and apologise and continue […]

9/11/2017 6 comments

I won’t be able to handle life anymore

by sugarcoated 9/7/2017

written by sugarcoated

I am 16 and in a week I’ll be 17.

Today my dad spoke with my teachers and talked about how I’m doing in school (grade 11).

The usual stuff they say:

• I’m quiet

• I sit alone (in some classes)

• I don’t participate in classes

those kind of things.

My teachers also said how bad I’m doing. And my parents didn’t react that well.

My dad is pissed at me.

And my mum hates me. She always says that “I’m useless” and that “no one will hire me for a job” and that “I’ll be picking up garbage and living on the streets.” And she’s always adds that “I’ll be dead […]

9/7/2017 9 comments

Any survivors blame their partner?

by lonely87 9/6/2017

written by lonely87

Im really struggling to understand how/why my husband chose not only to blame me but to make a campaign out of it in his suicide. His note blames a threat I made (I kept threatening to have him arrested for his violence, I was referring to historical violence but he was paranoid and thought I’d lie and say it was ongoing) but also makes reference to needing the kids to be saved from me, calling me a monster. He left a list of alleged domestic abuse I’d done which ranges from true, to lie, to downright bizarre, to deliberately calculated to sound like something bad […]

9/6/2017 4 comments

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