General

If your parents don’t own land, then you are born into debt. Yes, the moment you are born, you are in debt. Your parents must pay rent every month. If they are lucky, they “own” a house and pay mortgage. They do not own the house until every last payment has been made. And most do not own the land. Especially if you live in the city. You may “own” a house, but not the land beneath it. And without land, you own nothing.

When you go to college, you take out more debt, bc in today’s world […]

I want out of this rat race
I want out of my miserable life

We aren’t allowed to live any kind of real life, given lack of money / shit jobs.
Yet we aren’t allowed to die either.

And YES, there IS a reason why they make suicide illegal. It isn’t bc they give a rat’s ass about our lives or whatever they claim. It is bc those in power do NOT want the peasants to have a way out. If there was a way out, people would not pay their debts. Credit card bills, mortgages, student loans, car payments, medical bills- you […]

Modern life is complete garbage.
by inTrueOffMyChest

This is a comment from this reddit thread:

People don’t realize that THIS is the problem with modern life in America. Is it a wonder why so many people are unhappy, on drugs, alcohol, opioids, antidepressants? Is it a wonder why everyone is so unfulfilled? With crap jobs and crap bosses? Sure not everyone has a crap job, but a LOT of people do.

We now live to work, not the […]

I hate drinking, but it’s one of few things that calms me down as of late. I don’t drink often, maybe once every few months or so at this point, but I just had a drink and man, I feel a lot calmer…

This is why I have to limit myself, so it doesn’t become a habit.

Luckily I’m a big dude, so drunkenness doesn’t come as easily for me. Still, it’s nice to shush the bad thoughts and just chill out after work.

And yet, my mind still races.

The medication seems to be working. I think. I meet with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I still feel worthless and incapable of anything. But I’m still going through the motions. Doing the work. Still don’t know if I’ll quit school or not. Right at this moment I have this nauseous feeling. Like something is going to happen. Something bad. Like it’s creeping up on me and about to strangle me. I don’t know.

YES, things are BROKEN in America. If we point out that modern life is broken, or that we are trapped in a system that doesn’t work for us, we are told that there is something wrong with US. If we are sad or depressed or have mental issues, then anything and everything and all problems lie within US. WE are blamed INDIVIDUALLY for not being “well-adjusted” to modern society, and it’s OUR fault. Never mind that the system we are in produces broken lives and broken individuals. But no, we are told, there is something wrong with US. […]

Following up on someone else’s post:

Therein lies the problem- our society is fundamentally “broken.” It doesn’t work for the masses, it doesn’t work for the working poor. But Americans are brainwashed to think everything is fine and great in America- and if you DARE complain about anything it’s always met with “then move and leave the country!” or “look at Africa, we have it SO much better, how dare you complain!”

Nobody fucking thinks we should FIX a problem instead of just “leaving the country”?? How do you think we have Child Labor Laws? By saying, “if you don’t like it, move!”? […]

O’ fellow SP’ers… We’re unable to live proper normal happy lives, and also unable to die. Just what do we do with ourselves?

I’ve been going to therapy for nearly 30 years at this point, long enough that I’ve done therapy with every modality and philosophical bent. One particular therapist had a pillow on his couch that said; “if it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.” I don’t remember him being particularly Freudian in any other way, so it might have been a joke.

That joke being that in Freudian therapy, it almost always comes back to the mother for young men. I remember when I was covering it in college and I found out that part of why Freud is less taken seriously now is that his approach […]

Reddit: Modern life is complete garbage

Modern life is complete garbage.
by inTrueOffMyChest

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If a puppy gets kicked and abused repeatedly by a human, it learns to distrust and hate humans. It reacts by being aggressive or shrink away from humans. It isolates and becomes a loner. It learns to bite and bark, and becomes an aggressive dog.

Much is the same way for humans. If humans from an early age are abused and neglected, it learns to distrust humans, it becomes a loner, self-isolates. It has a hard time trusting other humans, has trouble forming bonds, becomes angry and bitter, at the world, at life. And obviously depressed.

And what if […]

I remember bleeding for someone for years. And they never cared. And it was all a lie. See them for what they really are and they will show themself to you at once. Yeah that really answers the question……

The whole point was to find each other. Now you are both dead. And when I am dead we will all be together again in the spirit world. So the only entire point really of this life was that we found each other, even though we met with tragic end. The whole point was that. So that we can be together forever after that, in the spirit world! And you got to spend 9 years together. But fuck this place. Let’s all be in the spirit world together. We couldn’t exactly be in the spirit world together forever if we had not met in this […]

I made this name cuz I kept thinking of it-the lyrics- from the Smashing Pumpkins song that says that. A singer died. Suicide Silence. He said that music will get you through anything, he promises. Music won’t get me through this. It isn’t changing anything. I also made this name because of a former post I think I titled this as I have been using this site for like ten years now although set it aside. This is my new account. Now this means it is for both of you, not just one. (love is suicide).

Wouldn’t it be nice if our coping methods are exercising, cleaning, or just being productive? I knew someone who used to clean so that isn’t really a “good” thing bc it gets out of hand and it’s obsessive. But exercising seems good. And being productive seem good.

When I was younger and healthy, my coping mechanism was to exercise. It wasn’t to the point of obsessive or extreme- but I did exercise a lot, and it did let off a lot of steam. Like kickboxing kind of exercise. Lifted weights. Running for hours. I would exercise 3-4x a week, about […]

My mind is so chaotic. I have no idea what’s going on. I hate it. Yesterday I was at a train station, and I looked at the tracks and I just wanted to go down there and walk until I got hit by a train. But I didnt. And when I was on the train I cried a little. While I was walking home, I felt sad because of how lonely I am and I thought that if literally anyone came up to me I would talk to them. Then someone came running in my direction to catch a bus and I just ignored them […]

It was a late Saturday night in February
People were home, it was quiet for a weekend
We had just fought over something i don’t even remember
There goes my short term memory loss again
I feel alone even when im not
I tried to make amends but you wouldn’t have it
So i took a walk
I didn’t think you noticed i was gone
All i could think about was the train tracks across the street
I was disassociating again
Walked down near the barrier, only 2 cars passed by
I was 2 steps away from the tracks when a train sped by
I […]

I’ve been lied to
Time only makes things worse
Nothing makes me happy anymore
No person, or pet, food, hobby, or amount of money
And I don’t know who’s crazy anymore
Is it me, is it all of them?
I even feel like my own family is crazy
It’s a scary feeling
Knowing that you and everyone around you is fucking insane
Not trusting in them anymore
Not trusting yourself
Suicide is the only option for me
I’ve decided that a long time ago
I don’t know why I’m still even here
I’m not a good person
I don’t deserve anything good
All i ask […]