General

I’m not yet twenty. Twenty hits me in less than 20 days.
I’m terrified. I know I’m not living to be thirty. I don’t want to live to be twenty for god’s sake.
It’s not that life isn’t good, I’m just so tired. I’ve been tired for half of my life. It’s a feeling I can’t get away from. No matter how I try.
I knew love once. I ran as fast as I could. He likes to get high and text me about what a whore I am or how much he still loves me. Starting pregnancy rumors about me.
I don’t think I […]

Hi

I am a 35 yrs old. I have been visiting this site on and off a while. I have been fighting with depression for a very long time. I felt so shit today that I just had to write down my feelings. I am sure that they are no new news for the most of you, but here they are

How I feel:
• I have been depressed for such a long time that I can not remember how it feels like not to be.
• I cant remember how it feels like to be happy and optimistic
• Everyday there is like a cloud hanging over my head

Hello everyone. I’m not exactly a suicidal person. I didn’t cut myself once and I want to live. But after all the reading , I feel somehow close to you all. There’s really a sharing community I can finally admire.

Back to point , even though I don’t plan to suicide , I want to write here , get my boredom and sadness out of me , and hope to make good friends. I’m aware I’m not in a very social group to get friends , and this site isn’t here for it. But all the common point of the fellows here is that each of […]

I think about suicide all the time.  I don’t feel I have any value whatsoever.  Mostly due to what a miserable ass I am but being old (I’m 47) just makes it worse.  I don’t know how I made it this far to be honest.   I have just given up on life.  I hate myself.  I feel like someone who can’t handle anything.  My life really isn’t that bad on paper (I have a job and house and all that crap).  But I am alone and that’s probably the main cause of my depression.  My husband told me towards the end of my marriage that not […]

I’m 25 and I’ve been severely depressed since I was a small child.  I’ve attempted suicide almost a dozen times since I was 14, and can’t seem to get it done.  No matter what I do or how many loving and caring people I try to surround myself with, I can’t help feeling useless, worthless, powerless and like nothing I do will matter.

I’ve been emotionally and psychologically destroyed by my family, peers and the system that I’ve grown up surrounded by.  I feel as though almost everything I do is some form of capitulation to the institution, especially my suicidal thoughts and feelings.  I constantly […]

i have contemplated suicide many times, and been unsucessful with all attempts. I remember just last xmas i awoke in hospital with a nurse standing over holding a needle near my arm. Just to be told that i was fine and so were my blood results. Yet another overdose that was not to be… I looked at him and asked him angrily Why Did U Not Let me DIE? I am ashamed of myself and disgusted in whom I have become. Dont get me wrong. life is precious. Well… Everyone’s but mine. To put things in context for you…
I was taken away from my […]

so the last time i wrote on her was in March and it’s now August.. i would like to say thing have changed and gotten better but na that hasn’t happen to me,.. i went in to a mental hospital awhile ago was in there for a month got out of there and  that’s when i fucked up just started smoking weed everyday. and it been like fuck 4 months or something. i hate myself. i can’t stop. i dont know how.  it’s fucked with my head. i don’t wanna do anything. and i mean i go out and try but seems like bad things just happen to […]

Knock knock! I would like to have a word with you.

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ok, so i am 14 years old, a freshman in highschool.

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my father died when i was three years old and i have been trying to deal since then. i have been depressed for about 6 years. i try to tell my mom but she just doesnt get it. i talk to this lady at my school but she doesnt know the whole truth. i started cutting at the beginning of second semester and i havent stopped since. i dont try to hide them cuz i just want someone to notice and to care.

I was really surprised such a site existed where we can discuss wanting death and not be put away.

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I’ve already been there, wrongfully.

I’m a writer, it’s the only thing I’m good at and it’s gotten me into trouble. Back along, I was expelled from school because I blogged in a dark lamenting sort of fashion.
I didn’t mean anything by it, but the school had enough. They didn’t want to be liable.
It was actually two ex friends who gave me away. They destroyed my life like I was an ant.
They expelled me because they thought I would kill students […]

For a couple weeks, I’ve been browsing this site. It started with an attempt to find a concrete suicide method. I had first been set on slashing my wrists, then overdosing, then drowning. I can’t decide. I’m not scared of dying, or pain. I’m scared of not succeeding. Of surviving and being “that girl who tried to off herself.” I would hate for everyone to think I did it for attention. This is precisely the reason I don’t really talk to my therapist. I don’t want to ask her if I’m actually fucked up, and have her tell me I’m just a normal teenager having […]

done with life . bored with life.  don’t want to move a muscle. too lazy to do anything..so unmotivated. if death could be painless i would have done it a long time ago. still searching for a painless way to end it all. i miss when i knew how to have fun..how to enjoy myself. every little bad thing makes me feel like suicide is my best option. even something as little as doing school work sets me off and makes me depressed and suicidal. i’ve lost all hope of being happy. i feel so selfish for wanting death..i know people would be hurt..few but […]

the hardest part to quit cutting for me the way it looks i love the way it looks on me. i haven’t done it in months 🙂 it felt great to do it again

I can’t even begin, but I know I can’t ever end. I was born broken, and I grew up a tangle that twisted inwards and ruined everything I thought, loved, and touched. I learned that my feelings were nothing and of little importance in comparison to everything bigger in the world. By the age of 8, I was telling people I was going to kill myself. I had barely experienced the world, and already I was ready to leave it forever. I was neglected. I was crying myself to sleep and holding knives over my wrists, watching the blue blood pump through veins under paper […]

I know I’m ugly, but you don’t have to look at me too often, you could just look down.

I know my voice is annoying, but I don’t have to talk, I could just listen.

I know I don’t have a job, but I have plenty of time to spend with you.

I know you don’t like me, but I like you, I like you a lot.

I want to be brave and end myself, I know by coming on here it probably says I am attention seeking or something or other but I am not I just need help, I dont want to mess up, I dont want to fail, I been lots of online reading and its all screwed up, I want the strength to be able to go through with it and not wimp out and be even worse the next time and the next time, the constant hurt, the constant fuck ups, the constant sorrow I bring to others and then I look at what I have? I […]

i feel trapped and i wanna check out. it feels like some people are meant to be happy and some people are meant to suffer. not everybody can be normal, sometimes youre born on the wrong side of the coin. my parents think its all in my head & im just a spoiled brat to just end it all and waste the money they spent on me. if i fail & its evident theyll stick me in the mental chapter of some nearby hospital and then apparently ill be GLAD to see the sight of home. what makes certified, licensed doctors think that mental hospitals […]

What more important thing is there than each other? What matters more than people? The people I love. Those I hold dearest to my heart. How could anything ever matter more? I don’t understand.
Why do I feel so alone?
I don’t see it. How you can say you care yet not care. How every last attempt feels broken and I feel like I’m cheating and still not getting anywhere. And the guilt. The guilt. I know it’s wrong, so wrong. But I don’t know any other way. I don’t understand. How can anything be more important?
All I see are my insecurities. My faults. […]