General

i could go out.

i could make friends.

maybe.

i could go out, be friendly

maybe.

but im too tired.

i dont have the energy to seek approval and impress.

im tired.

im tired of everything.

sometimes im too tired to sleep.

where did this happen?

when did my life become like this?

when did i stop having fun

and

when did i stop wanting too.

was it when i was judged.

maybe when i realised life has criteria

be pretty, but dont try too hard.

be funny, but not lame.

be confident, but not too loud.

be nice, but not so much that your a pushover

be smart, but not so much that your a nerd

i just miss being myself.

i miss wearing the clothes i […]

so i found out i have a  blood disease…why now?why when i finally had gotten my life together and i have stoppped attempting and tried to live life?

My bestfriends alyssa and markel are gone.they talk to m on acasion sure.but hey hate me.I told them I’m bi..they said okay? They just vdont care.dumb thing is….I still love them.
sorry I post about my crapy love or friendship life.this one gets better.don’t worry.
my friend christal…she’s gone too.she think liked me.then changed her mind.she has a bf now.I see them together every day.yesterday…I couldn’t take it.I cried at school for once.
yea stupid I know.

But hey.guess what..almost everyone in my family is dying:
My daddy. 🙁
my mom
grandpa
Grandma
my uncle(s)
pets
everyone.
So why sould I stay when I will […]

hello my name is Al. i’m a 26 year old male  just here to share my experience with the medical system. Its a complicated story so ill start at the beginning. when i was 15 i started having abdominal cramps. the pain was so horrible i would miss school or be late everyday. that’s when i started seeing the first of a line of doctors. they tested me and tested me and threw pill after pill at me. i tried eating only chicken and rice. i’ve done all the diets that are good  for your digestive systems.  still they couldn’t figure out what was causing […]

I’m worthless.

I just wish I could fall asleep and never wake up again. Which is weird for me to say. Which is why I don’t. Not to him. He seems to believe that if I have him then there is no reason to want death. And I don’t want death. Just an end. You know how it goes. I love him a lot. And it is true that he’s the main reason I live. But just because I’m happy with him does not mean I am happy. I’m just not a happy person. I probably won’t ever be. And he knew that before we started […]

I know the reason for my insecurities, my desperation, and my fears. The main cause that everyone else think that they can solve, but in reality only one person can fix. I hear everyone say that you need to say it out loud to make you feel any better about it, but honestly I’m perfectly fine keeping it all to myself and not telling anyone face-to-face.

I don’t need to be loaded on drugs to suppress this fact, I don’t need some person that spent 12 years of their life perfecting the theories to analyze my life and my choices. The only one who can judge […]

I’m sooo tired I just don’t want to do this any more.

How long until I can leave…

How long until its over…

I’m a failure and a freak….

How am I supposed to keep going through each day when I’m not real…

When life’s not real but only a bad dream…

When the only way to wake up…

Is to sleep… forever.

Hey all, my name is Mark, I have a loving girlfriend and some good friends. I recently lost a job that i loved. I suffer from depression, it started after my mother died 10 years ago.  i really don’t want to suffer anymore. I struggle everyday with the simplist things, like getting out of bed, eating, washing. It all seems utterly pointless and I want it to end. Seriously, i’m 40 years old i’m not some depressed kid (no disrespect meant). You get to a point in your life when you realise there is no point. Those I love will remember me for a while […]

KILL MEEEEEEEE! I HATE THIS! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! MAELIIN! HELP MEE!
ANYONE! HELP MEE

My best friend.i have a huge crush on her.she says she loves me.but just not the way I love her.I help her find the perfect guy…well i try anyway.but really I’m sad.I want everyone to reject her so I can have her.for me.all to me.is that wrong?hat else can I do?she’s not sure if she’s bi.she says she needs time.I give her time.but its killing me.
and my other friend.I love her too.she’s the best.we aren’t best friends.but I guess we are close.sad part is.she has a bf.I cry myself to sleep.iknow she’s happy.I’m happy for her.but…I want mto be happy too.
cutting does that.it […]

It looks like it will be a little less than two weeks for me. I’ve started by trying to put things in order. I wish my family wasn’t going to have to clean up the loose ends that I leave behind.

I don’t know why I’m posting here except that you’re forced into secrecy if you really want to do this.

Everything is very surreal right now.

I have schizophrenia.

Why do I mess everything up.I f’d up everyones life.maeliin.I’m sorry about the poem thing.I was being a jerk.I have no friends.non that care anyway.tge only thing they care about it me being bi.which u hate.I’m me.I’m not to their standards.I want to be.but I’m not.
My life is f’d up.why do I f up everyone elses too.
I don’t mean to.it just happenes.I hate it.I hate me.someone kill me before I do.I can’t break mine and maeliin’s promise:/

I know what you’re thinking.

I’m a teenage girl whose going to ramble on about another teenage boy she’s been infatuated with, making accusations like “I know he’s the one for me” or something of that sort.

Well, don’t let the title fool you.

I am talking about a boy, that part is not false, but I’m not exactly infatuated with him, and I’m not exactly in love with him…at least I don’t think so.

His name is Grant. Grant Prentice to be exact. I met him at the beginning of this year, in my Spanish class. It was like magic, meeting someone so new, someone who didn’t know […]

I have given myself reasons to stay, reasons to go, reasons to wait, reasons to jump headfirst, but I can’t decide, I can’t pick the direction, I’m so uncertain.

I’m so lonely. I wish I had guidance. I’ve been attempting to seek help, but I don’t meet with my counselor often enough for it to make a difference. I need a friend on the weekends, someone who knows how to distract me and lift me up. That’s all I need, to be honest…someone to take this away…

Yesterday my calculus teacher told me that he’s been worried about me. This confused me a bit, because I don’t […]

I feel my wrists
I am aware of them
they almost ache
long to be sliced open
ripped apart
I’ll take a look inside
see the blood pouring out in gallons
rivers flowing out
draining out
draining the pain and the want
and the despair; the hopelessness
all drained out
and replaced by relief

I’ve just not been facing anything. Thinking there is a way out. I even booked a flight to Paris as I was going to jump off the Eiffel Tower. My mum found me in a state after clicking the confirm button on the flights. Now i’ve left everything too late and got trapped within my own mind not thinking straight. I cant face a thing and I dont knw what to do. I cant cope with knowing i’m never going to be happy again and how ive changed so much. I cant cope with living like this anymore. Theres so much more than just this. […]